Sweetie, get a Mask….now

Cover your mouth and nose with a cloth face cover when around others

  • You could spread COVID-19 to others even if you do not feel sick.
  • Everyone should wear a cloth face cover when they have to go out in public, for example to the grocery store or to pick up other necessities.
    • Cloth face coverings should not be placed on young children under age 2, anyone who has trouble breathing, or is unconscious, incapacitated or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance.
  • The cloth face cover is meant to protect other people in case you are infected.
  • Do NOT use a facemask meant for a healthcare worker.
  • Continue to keep about 6 feet between yourself and others. The cloth face cover is not a substitute for social distancing.
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New Chapter: grumpy old man vs the liberated woman?

Max was none too happy when his wife of 25 years moved out, divorced him and started having, “The time of her life.”

He was left with the rambling old house, an incontinent dog and early retirement -all were more frightening, than exhilarating.

A CPA for 29.7 years, Max had carefully planned out – well everything: his retirement, buying a Recreational Vehicle, selling the house, living in campgrounds and beaches for a year before moving to Arizona – the land of perpetual sunshine, golf and hammock time. It was his dream.

His Ex hadf a strong  an aversion to living in a “trailer,” camping, and the Arizona sun. She loathed golf and thought hammocks were a waste of time.

She became a vegetarian, started taking poetry workshops and watercolor classes, spin classes and attending lectures at the local junior college and the JCC.

The more he eased into retirement modus operandi– she geared up for a richer, more active life. She wanted to invent something, to write poetry, appear at Book Passages, and be to a star of the slam poetry group. She volunteered at film festivals and art shows and thought perhaps she should make a film. Why not?

hopeMax grew more bored by the day. He never imagined himself being single. Was he lonely or bored – or both? He hoped his Ex would come back.

Taking a page from his younger, bachelor-neighbor with the parade of women arriving at his house each month, Max decided to sign up for online dating.

Two of his golf buddies, divorced and hovering around 50, were dabbling in dating and encouraged him heartily. Why not? If nothing else, Max is thorough. He did his due diligence and believing ‘You get what you pay for,’ he skipped all the “free sites” and decided to try a month eHarmony for $70.00. He had half-watched the upbeat dating TV ads with the Orville Redenbacher character touting the company’s high success rate for years. Why not?

His sister-in-law in Ohio encouraged him. She urged him to date women his own age. He didn’t tell her that he was having none of that. Like a new car, he was going for the younger, faster, sleeker model than his old wife.

He even debated about leasing a Tesla. One of his clients had leased one and he looked really cool.

One friend told him to get rid of the old man jeans, the baggy sweaters, the sweats and the T-shirts with funny logos. Off to Tommy Bahama’s- The Outlet- for shirts, and slacks. Ta-da! The “New” Max.

The Biggest Mistake – The Selfie in the Mirror

Every picture Max had – was of his ex-wife and him: photos in Hawaii, at restaurants, at parties with friends. There were no good, recent – in the last ten years – photos of him to put up online. Resourceful, he pointed his camera at the mirror and took 15 photos. Two words: Not Good.

Nothing says “loser” like a Selfie in the Mirror Shot

 If you don’t have a friend – to take your photo with your smart phone – ask a neighbor, a dog walker, your gardener to snap five photos. Choose one.

 Fortunately, Max had to return one shirt to the Tommy Bahama store – and he sheepishly asked the sales clerk to take a photo of him. Smart girl, she took ten photos of Max – all around the store, and three were good. Bingo. He was ready to sign on and get in the game. And, he did!

Look out world, here comes Max!   Once a grump – always a grump?


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Are you 50, 60, or 70  and back in the Dating Game?

Have you been told to Follow Your Bliss? But, you know you need a map, a compass, and a GPS just to find the On-ramp to the Bliss Highway of life?

Here are Five Easy Ways to get back in the dating saddle and ride off into sunset.

1. There will always be a Greek chorus  urging you to get back on the horse. Neigh? If you have images of a pony-ride dancing in your head, be prepared. This foray in Dating in 2020 is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta  movie, Urban Cowboy. Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Relax and enjoy the new adventures in Dating land.

2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over your  phone waiting for a text or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: Get out there and play.

3. You’re not alone. There are over 20+ million Singles back in the Dating Game. Many are done playing Solitaire  and are ready to play Hearts!  Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com  for hundreds of organizations in your zip code. 

4. Step Up: VolunteerLitquake -one of San Francisco’s greatest events of the year is upon us. The ever popular, Mill Valley Film festival, St Anthony’s, etc.  The list is long. Do a good deed and meet new people. Take a look at  my column on volunteering – remember: Volunteers are Love in Motion.

5. Your mother was wrong: Do speak to strangers. Smile and say “hey” to  – most everyone, every Single day.

Dating at 50+ is a lot more fun than dating at 20. You are more interesting, wiser, smarter, have better life’s stories and you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car.

Come on in, the water is  fine.

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Poor Little Rich Girl on a Ring Cycle

In 2005, Peggy was on her fourth husband when she overheard a waiter at Trader Vic’s say to another that she was “On a Ring Cycle.”

Initially, she was amused and flattered to find a mere waiter spoke of her in hushed tones.

It wasn’t until cocktails at the Big Four, later that evening, that that dawned on her that the Wagner reference was not a compliment. She understood the Ring Cycle reference and the multiple marriages. How dare he criticized her. That dwarf.

Peggy was a fifth generation San Franciscan; the social columns noted that she bowed at the debutante ball. She had married well and often – at least, that’s where friend said behind her back.

But she wasn’t like a Dede Wilsey or Danielle Steele.

She met her first husband at Cal and had a huge wedding at Grace Cathedral with a reception at Pacific Union Club.

A year later, she discovered he preferred the company of gentlemen not ladies and daddy had the marriage annulled.

Then she met Skip, with his forest green Morgan, penchant for champagne, croquet, dominoes and handmade suits from Seville Row in London. It was lust at first sight. It wasn’t long after the wedding at the Fairmont before she realized his finances were in ruin. As in: deep trouble.

Everyone knew Peggy worked hard to keep a stiff upper lip and continue the charade of “All is well on the home front.”

After an accelerated, divorce two years later, she was single again.

Her friends fixed her up with many older, widowed, Bohemian Club fixtures.

She had known Charles for years…and had frequently seen his, now deceased, wife at Mr. Lee’s getting her hair done the same time. They had been polite, nodding acquaintances.

And so, Charles stepped up – her third marriage was thought to be solid strong and respected.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors. Two years later, Charles moved to his pied Terre in New York City.

She moved to her condo in Maui and set up a very active social life.

Friends from the mainland and friends from the islands waltzed in and out of her beautiful oceanfront home. She was famous as a bon vivant socialite.

Once again, she fell in love. This time with a former surfer – with claims of Hawaiian royalty in his blood. Stanley was tall, dark and handsome – the perfect arm candy at her side.

After four months, they decided to sail to Tahiti and have an impetuous wedding ceremony at her friend, Bitsy’s estate. It was a small affair with 100 of her closest friends.

Yes, dear reader, all good things must come to an end. Stanley played Peggy like a violin and ran off with too many to mention thousands of dollars and bags of her jewelry.

She returned to her social life in San Francisco – the Metropolitan Club, the Blue Fox, Ernie’s, Grisons, Alfred’s and the Burlingame Country Club. 

Peggy said she always had her Eyes Wide Open.

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Skip the light fantastic: nightmare first date?

Avoid the guy in the pirate hat and pink tutu

Suddenly Single in Marin

Merry has a dozen Nightmare First Date Stories. Her friends “live” for her dating debacle tales. Not only is she funny, Merry is their canary – dropping down into the dating depths – checking for life and oxygen and avoiding poseurs and playboy/deadbeats.

A few friends say Merry is brave to dip in the Dating Pool at age 55.

Others think she is mildly crazy for meeting a veritable parade of men every month.

Last week, she met Dancing Fred online. He bragged about his dancing prowess and his modicum of fame – he appeared on TV – and he a had a large fan club.

Merry loves to dance and was intrigued. Finally, a man who could dance, liked to dance and was single. She bit – hook line and sinker.

After a flirty phone call, attracted to his strong, silent type, persona, she agreed to meet him Saturday…

View original post 372 more words

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Scrub a dub dub….wash your hands again.


surgeon in the operating room

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

Cover your mouth and nose with a cloth face cover when around others

  • You could spread COVID-19 to others even if you do not feel sick.
  • Everyone should wear a cloth face cover when they have to go out in public, for example to the grocery store or to pick up other necessities.
    • Cloth face coverings should not be placed on young children under age 2, anyone who has trouble breathing, or is unconscious, incapacitated or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance.
  • The cloth face cover is meant to protect other people in case you are infected.
  • Do NOT use a facemask meant for a healthcare worker.
  • Continue to keep about 6 feet between yourself and others. The cloth face cover is not a substitute for social distancing.

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Beware the common “Romance Scam”

David Pogue – genius and prolific writer – gives us this golden insight to online dating scams:

Beware the nefarious: Soulmate Scam

The FBI says that “confidence/romance fraud” was the second most-reported crime in 2017, after business email compromise crime. Say you’re on a typical  dating site, and you find The One: She is gorgeous, witty, and really into you. And!  This person really, really  wants to meet you — and she hints that your first date will be something you’ll never forget. You’re hooked, lined, and sinking…


Oh! One tiny thing: — your new love-of-your-life  needs a little money for a ticket to come see you. Puhleez….

Oh, one other ittle thing, darling  “Can you help out with his/her rent?”


drinxThe Big Night...your are over the moon with the new Love of your life. Will it be all you have been dreaming about? Uh, No!

The big night arrives: Your Dreamy Date  doesn’t show up! What? No! Why?  Because “they”  not a real person. Think: Fake Photo, Fake News, Fake Email Account and gallons of lies – mis-truths and a Scam 101.

First, the stunning photo is  a stock photo ( See Pixabay for free fake photos)

Second, the Con Artist (from Russia or Nigeria) has been playing you like a piano….

What to do? Hang up. Delete. Forget about it – but first: Report the person to the dating site.  Then See:Internet Scams we Fall for 

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Scams: Online Dating Nightmares


(SAMPLE Scam)  $100 to the first 10 people to send in the First  Ten Verses of “Do the Hustle.”

by Stan the Scam and the Fair-ohs?

Binkie, Is there a Romance Hoax in your past, or a good looking one waiting for you around the corner?

There are a million stories in the dated city. Some are all lightness and air and others are like the Clint Eastwood movie:   The Good the Bad and the Ugly. The ugly: the romance scams which are rampant at on line dating sites. Dubbed “The Nigerian Hustle”, these scams have been the subject of an MSNBC special and  they’ve been on both Oprah and Dr. Phil.

Just look on line and see the huge number of Dating Alert Websites have cropped up to warn and alert on line daters of the hustles and scams that are so prevalent.

A warning sign for the public

Both Janice in CT and Anne in Houston wrote similar Match.com stories to say, “It all started with a wink.” Both women were flattered by ‘a wink’ from a great looking guy in San Francisco.    His profile picture resembled Burt Lancaster, on the beach in the movie, From Here to Eternity.  Without much though,t they both returned ‘the wink’ and within hours received a response from ‘Cheney’.    Both women said the first clue something was amiss was the salutation, “Hello, Dearie!” Anne said she had never met a man who called anyone “Dearie.”

The letter instantly fell apart: it was a train wreck of broken English and a request to contact him at a Yahoo.com address.

Fortunately, both women  knew immediately it was a scam. They had almost walked into an infamous Nigerian scam.    It starts with a wink – goes to a “contact me at another site” and “by the way, could you send me a few thousand dollars, dearie?”

Run, run, as fast as you can – get away from the Nigerian scam man.


Psst: “Do the Hustle” doesn’t have 10 verses…


“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness”.

James Thurber


See Forbes Magazine Re Nigeria Scams

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Beware: Scams – are all over dating sites


Everyday there are floods of scammers – from Nigeria, Russia and Utah…working Online Dating Scams – Here is “a classic” Scam artist  at work: 

Hi Gorgeous,

How are you doing?Hope thanks for the message fine-Now whats next!… hmmn lets get to know more about each other, i like your profile. We share a lot in common and i think your not just interesting but amazingly gorgeous… and would like to know more about you…

i want you to know that distances does not mean anything to me bco i dont mind to relocate to meet that right woman of my life any where

all that matter to me the most is true love and to always be honest with each other

and i do believe those are the right key to a long and lasting relationship.

..and age is just a number to me as well..

i also want you to know that today is my last day on match bcos i am only here for 3 days trials

ok i will be happy if you email me direct to my private email address ok that way we can continue this conversation.

I quickly had to send you an email… i would appreciate if you can email me back on yahoo..

which is t.ross460@yahoo.com i look forward to hearing from you soon.


Thomas ( not his real name – not his real photo)  sends out letters like this all day long…hoping to snag one “innocent” who doesn’t know the ropes or the huge number of evil creeps out there.

A quick read of the letter – rife with copy and pasted cliches and lies screams SCAM.

Be careful out there.


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Put me in, coach – Tips from Dating coaches


It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…

A good friend, Matt, is new to the Dating Whirl. Divorced for over two years,  he is still in that quasi-reclusive stage.

Perhaps the way he was treated by wacky judges and aggressive lawyers took the joie de vivre and the starch out of him.

Friends encouraged him to get ‘Out There’ and date.  They regaled him with so many successful dating  stories and, yet, he was hesitant to go beyond a second date. No, I  didn’t say second base.

Serendipity happens

Matt recently attended a Medical Equipment Sales Conference at the downtown Hilton.  He said the hotel was teeming with conventioneers.   On the first day, he noticed dozens of women, and a handful of men, flocking to a particular ballroom near his meeting room.  He said there were a ton of pink balloons and multiple  giant vases with red roses at the entrance to the ballroom where all the women seemed to be heading.

Impulsively, he joined  a “swarm” of fast-talking, fast-moving women and entered the  huge room with them. He deftly removed his name tag and folded his suit jacket over his arm and sat down.

The attractive woman next to him started chatting him up, not realizing she was sitting next to the King of Small Talk.  In no time he realized the sign:  WRD/LCC was at a Western Region Dating / Life Coach Convention. His first impulse was to dash – a major impostor, he might be discovered. Then, our hero decided  sit back, relax and thought,  “What a deal!”

Matt is an interesting guy.  He has enjoyed great success in his career and is a total Mid- West – never met a stranger- kind of a guy.

His 10 year marriage evaporated when his wife ran away with the pool boy – actually, with the guy who owned the Tri-State Pool Installation mega-corporation.

So, Matt, listened and became the totally intrigued interloper. He tells of  being fascinated by what he learned from the panel of optimistic and opinionated Dating Coaches. Ho took notes. He also handed out his business card and met “people” (aka single women.) 


One morning – two hours – a crash course in dating and he was launched  into the dating stratosphere. He stayed for the morning presentations and was dazzled by the flood of information about on-line dating.
And, there were single, attractive women everywhere. Kismet.Treat

Posted in Dating at 50, Dating Coach in Marin, Relationship, San Francisco, single in Marin, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment