Here it is:
“The Two Most Important Rules fo Sexy Successful Dating”
1. Keep them wanting more.
2. Don’t give them what they want.” E. Rednick
There. I just saved you $250.00 and two hours sitting on a steel folding chair in a hotel ballroom.
Ebony Rednick, a self-professed dating guru from Beverly Hills and author of “Don’t Put Out, Make Him Wait” had attracted 30 women to her pricey workshop that Monday night in November.
Newly Divorced and new to the current dating game – plus several failed first dates, – I wondered what I’d been doing wrong and a friend suggested I attend the timely lecture. The event was held at a trendy, boutique, hotel downtown.
When I walked in the meeting room, I noticed every chair was taken except one lone chair in the front row. As I took my seat, I noticed several women knitting, a couple were reading and everyone else was tres busy: texting or scrolling on their phones.
And most were looking very uncomfortable.
Were we all here for the same reason? Dating dysfunction?
Ebony claimed in her glossy flyer that she would put the fun back into dys function. Really?
At exactly 7:30 p.m. a short, rather rotund, woman, entered the room dressed flowing pants and tent top in shades cream, ecru, and beige. If women can swagger – she had a certain swagger. She entered the room and did a prize-fighter, smile “Look at me… here I am, call me Ebony! Hear me roar.” kind of an entrance.
She was wearing one of those cool microphones around her head and launched into a litany of sad dating failures: Are you the princess of first dates? Are you attracting Tom Cruise or Tom Arnold? Do men flock to you like honey or are you Vinegar?
When is the last time you fell in love? With something besides that 50% off pair of Jimmy Choos at Neiman Marcus?
She seemed to be a perfect graduate of the Dale Carnegie’s school of speaking and sales. She was dynamic, she was glib ~ she was quick ~ facile and she talked a mile a minute. It was obvious she done this before. A few dozen times.
I started doing the math, each of us the room pay $250 there were 30 of us. It was a 90-minute lecture with a 15-minute break and 15-minutes for questions. Not bad.
She was one smart mama.
She told the standard icebreaker joke to get our attention and she launched into statistics of dating online, singles cruises, singles clubs, and the success rate of each.
The disadvantage of being in the front row, I couldn’t see the reactions of anybody else in the room. I could hear mild laughs, and imagined a wave of nodding heads in agreement.
The advantage of sitting in the front row is that I felt Ebony and I were communicating. And I quickly realized she was communicating with everybody in that room – she worked the room like a Bible Tent Preacher with savor faire…
Ebony’s presentation was filled with rhetorical questions, dating nightmares and love stories and dating advice. She really was a dynamic speaker. I wondered if anybody was taking notes.
When we took our break, I noticed a tray of fabulous pastries. Demi-tasse cups and French-press coffee all magically had arrived at the back of the room.
Several women flocked around Ebony with questions.
Having missed lunch and dinner, I was attracted more to the Napoleons, the petit fours and the coffee.
From the back of the room, I noticed we were 50-50. Half of the attendees went straight to pastry and coffee and the other half went to talk to Ebony.
I asked a tall redhead who was also grabbing a dessert what she thought of the event and without even looking at me she said, “Crap, it’s all crap, I’ve been to three of these lectures and it is the same message every single time.”
Totally intrigued, I asked “So, tell me, what’s the message? I haven’t gotten it, yet. Or has it been delivered?”
The reed thin, redhead was pouring cream into her coffee. Still no eye contact, and she said to the wall:
“The message is holdout. Don’t put out. Wait to be called. The man is a hunter, and we, as women, are supposed to sit by the phone and wait to be called. If one does not comply with these rules then you don’t get any dates. That’s the message.”
Whoa – that sounded a little harsh and antediluvian…
Too much like Tarzan – King of the Jungle – Jane – Lady in waiting…(I could go on with the metaphors)
A wave of discontent was running thorough the ranks– rumblings and mumblings and a lot of head shaking. A few of these heads had hit glass ceilings and weren’t willing to take a back seat…one woman, Prada Babe, railed and went on – No way was she going to give up the driver’s seat – who was she? Miss Daisy?
Like a cheerleader – Ebony called us back to our respective seats and, instantly, was bombarded with questions – the word was out – and we weren’t going to take it anymore…
Savvy speaker that she is – she cajoled, calmed and connived…after all, she had 30 minutes to kill…
Her message – (SPEAKERS TRICK: do the Snow Ball – repeat it~ repeat it.) “Keep them wanting more. Don’t give them what they want.”
What the What?
And, so, that is what I paid $250.00 for that sad evening in November. Sleek and Slick Ebony walked away with a fistful of dollars… 30 women left the ballroom $250 lighter and more confused.