My Dating Game Nightmare
I dreamed I was on The Dating Game and tall, dark, and handsome Jim Lange, was the host and I was “The Bachelorette.”
I was wearing Hot Pants, tights, chocolate leather boots, a heavy, crepe blouse with puffy sleeves and multiple golden chains. My long hair was in a classic, Farrah Fawcett shag-cut.
Who Lurks Behind The Screen?
Sitting on the other side of the stage, behind the screen were the Three Eligible Bachelors. Images of hot dates were dancing in my head: could it be Tom Selleck or David Cassidy? Perhaps Steve Martin, Adam West? Maybe Clint Eastwood?
I was given a packet of ‘Corny Questions’ to ask the Bachelors. Their answers became more obnoxious as the minutes flew by. So much for a major flirt-festival with Bob Saget or John Ritter. These guys were smug, flat, and dull times three.
Even with the leading questions dripping with innuendo – the three boring bachelors all sounded like Ronald Reagan. Yikes! Maybe they were Ronald Reagan.
The Lesser of Three Evils?
All three guys sounded opinionated, smug and boring… and I had to choose one. Between a rock and a hard place- I chose Number Two – it’s my lucky number. Cue the song “Lollipops and Roses” and each of the Bachelors came around the screen and Number One is Bill O’Reilly!
Well, dodged that bullet. Bachelor Number Three appears and it’s Sean Hannity! This dream is getting sicker and sicker.
Finally, Bachelor Number Two comes around the screen, and lo and behold,
it is Sean Spicer
Then I woke up.
Like Bobby on Dallas – it was all a dream – a very bad dream.
Where was Patrick Duffy when I really needed him?
“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”
Edgar Allan Poe