It All Started with Eve
The difference between the sexes is titanic. Men take a woman out on a date and afterwords ponder the Big Three Questions: Was she cute? Was she fun? And, did she flirt? That’s all.
Women, on the other hand, during and after a date, mull, ponder, dwell and think way too much. As they do an instant replay of the evening they determine if their date was polite, fun, attentive, sweet, kind, flirty – but not overly so- and the list goes on. And, on.
When did this exhaustive female ‘Post Date Analysis‘ start? What happened to “Hey, that was fun. Let’s do it again. I’ll call.” And he says, “Deal.”
WD-40, a Swiss Army Knife, duct tape, a hammer, a tape measure, a barbecue, a remote control, a Giant’s winning streak, a Lazy-boy recliner and a few St. Pauli Girl beers and they are happy.
Men leave the house with keys, a money clip and their cell phone.
Conversely, women leave the house with a small suit case -called a handbag -with enough varied supplies to support a small nation. We have pens, paper, an assortment of cosmetics in two, tiny, smart-looking cases, a Blackberry, various To-do and shopping lists, a calendar, grocery coupons, mints and gum, a bottle of water, hair clips that can double as a weapon, a paperback for book club, an energy bar, a small vial of Advil, a magic stone, an extra pair of silver chandelier earrings- just in case, hand cleaner, tissues, a small bag with 6 almonds (Dr Oz’s idea) a sewing kit, band-aids, a metal nail file – can double as a weapon, a disposable camera, and a bottle-sample size- of perfume.
To many guys, Sunday Sports are of the be all and the end all. Sports are like the full moon, the stars and the sky – their True North. It’s not the day to drag them to the mall and make them hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. They crave, love, and relish Sunday Sports – be a sport – and hand them the remote control, and they are happy. Voila!
And, they want women to ask for what we want. You may have noticed, subtle hints don’t work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call them primitive – it is obvious our soft, whimsical and nebulous little hints are irksome. Do the boys a favor, and clearly state what you want.
About the same time the best selling book, The Male Brain came out, a simple, succinct e-mail about Men and Happiness was circulating world wide.The hysterical piece caught the attention of the members of ‘The Salon’. They agreed “why men are happier than women” is brutally honest, very clever, and takes two- minutes to read – time for throwing head back and laughing heartily included. The secret? It’s all about Number One: men have one hair style- forever; they have one mood; and one pair of shoes and one wallet goes with every single outfit. Men are happy campers.
To Tell the Truth
Anyway and everyday: women simply want to know what men are thinking about (Answer: sex). We want to know what men dream about (Answer: sex). We ponder: when it comes to flight or fright what is the limbic system of the cortex of the brain of a man thinking about? (Answer: sex)
Conclusion: Men are happy and women are luckier for it.
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