Match my Harmony? Plenty of Chemistry? Online dating

smallwwer26831_20130808Everything I know about online dating…

In the beginning, Internet Dating, if nothing else, is two things: amusing and addictive. It’s like a drug. As a virtual virgin you find yourself sucked into hours of scanning photos and reading profiles.

At first, you conscientiously read every profile that the dating companies serve you on a silver screen. After all, you have waded through pages and pages of questions and tests. It’s a romantic Rorschach test. You’ve supplied name, rank, cereal flavor and a plethora of likes and dislikes and paid the big bucks. Throwing caution to the wind, you take the leap.   Here is a handful of well-researched points of observation:

* If a person lies about their age, Know: 55 is not the  new 35; there’s room for concern.

* If you are voracious reader, runner, writer, cook and their idea of fun is watching TV, Note: they are not going to change.

* If you are an REI, Orvis, Sports Basement person and  running, jumping, biking, hiking, spelunking, throwing, diving are your passions and your “proposed match” isn’t into any or all – dash.

* If upon meeting your “Perfect Match” and they don’t remotely resemble their photo, Caution: There are Amber lights flashing.

* If his or her profile consists of boasts and brags about all their accomplishments and two favorite words are I and I – say the magic word, “Next.”

* If their activity list is very short and consists of ‘snuggling on the couch’, and you’re an active, dynamic person with more interests: red flag.

*If you are interested in Camus and Sartre….and they said Kama Sutra – it might be a match.

* If your IQs don’t match it might be a red flag. Maybe not. However, if they ramble on about Byzantine art, quarks and metaphysics and you keeping thinking: too quirky and want to taking a quantum leap outa there. Not a match.

* If you see facets of anger, rudeness, moodiness, and addictions: Red flag.

* If you thought, he said Penn State and he really said state pen. Red flag.images

It’s a well-known fact that people are on their very best behavior on the first four dates. On approximately date number four, for the gloves come off. Did you see a flag?

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Best Advice from Page Larkin: Daters beware: Be savvy, smart and be safe. Talk on the phone before you actually meet. Ask questions. Take the time to get to know your potential date. No, Virginia, texting does not count as a conversation. You must speak on the phone – for more than five minutes.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

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