Letters to Page Larkin: Dating Games, deal breakers, ditch the dude?

photo_21523_20120317To Ms. Larkin,

I’m a fan and know you can figure this one out. I’m too old for dating games. I’m just an all-American, divorced, 62 yr. old male. I met a great gal four months ago. I thought we were soul mates, except for one thing: every date I feel like I’m being tested. She parades me in front of her friends; takes me to chick-flicks and museums. I can do anything once.  I don’t swing dance- she does – we did that. I like to make her happy – but feel like I am jumping through hoops. She claims she isn’t testing me. I think she has a report card going.

Give me a break Bob

To Give me a break Bob

So you’ve met a potential soul mate, she takes you out of your comfort zone and you try totally new experiences. Kudos to you for stepping out of comfort and into a challenge. The best thing to do is to talk about how you are feeling. Let her know what makes you uncomfortable and start introducing her to your favorite past times. You’re doing great! Gold stars for you, Bob.

Ms. Page Larkin,

George (65) and I met on Chemistry and we’ve been dating three weeks. He admitted he has a “Deal breaker” list. Now he tells me he the “Naked” Truth, he lives for H.A.I and Harbin Hot Springs and just now told me is semi-polyamorous. I’m an old-fashioned 56-year-old woman- and only date one guy at a time. We really dig one another, but, I’m not doing ‘shares’ with anyone. Ditch the dude or hang in?

Karalee

Ms. Karalee,

You sound like a woman who knows what she wants. Before jumping ship, talk to George and tell him your feelings about dating multiple partners. If you both are in that first blush of ‘Dating Around’ and exploring options, tell him. It is always a good idea to set parameters and discuss exactly what you are looking for in a partner. Ask questions before “Ditching the dude.”

Peace, Page

Dear Page,

I’m a 61 year old, divorced twice, man looking for a date for life. I have been around the block and over the hill. After 3+ years on Match.com and a hundred dates, I know I am interested in finding what I want, more than just sampling different women.

You’re right about the way we ‘Buffet Date’ and the Candy store idea. I’m tired of that. Page, please tell women to stop playing games and that guys are working hard at this dating stuff.

Danny Boy in Brisbane

Dear Danny Boy,

Thanks for the comments. Yes, women want to know what men are thinking. And, you are right:  we all need to be a whole lot nicer to one another. Good luck and have fun.

Hey, Page Larkin

Two months ago, I was inspired by your “prompt” and the TV ads and I signed up for EHarmony. I’ve had 20 dates with all kind of guys – some good, some bad. I’m bored with the long wait time. What do I do next?

Annie Santa Clara

 Hey, Annie Santa Clara

Good for you for taking the plunge and trying your hand at Internet dating. It takes nerve and a sense of adventure to give it a whirl. Let’s fill in the blanks here: 20 dates in two months and not one keeper? What are the Top Three Qualities you are looking for in a date? Remember, Prince Charming is already taken.

Are you regulated by a strident “Must Have” list, or are you open to meeting men who don’t exactly match your picture perfect portrait? For comparative shopping, try a free site like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid. Try, Try, again with an open mind and an open heart.

Peace, Page

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

 Hey, kids, remember:  Hit ’em, go get em, slide to either side, pick up dirt, throw it at a reindeer and don’t forget to have fun out there.

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This entry was posted in Dating in Marin, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, suddenly single and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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