Try a new dating site? Skip this time

The Date Watchers, a group of local, single, women who get together on a monthly basis at La Boulange to talk about online dating: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

 The group’s numbers fluctuatea couple of the ladies have found their “Partner for life,” a couple others are ‘going steady’ with somebody special…a few have thrown in the towel and have given up on dating-again altogether- however, they live vicariously through the exploits of their pals.

 New Year’s Resolution: Try a new dating site?

The women are confidant they have explored every viable online dating site known to man and woman. They have tripped the light fantastic at eHarmony – conclusion: eHarmony doesn’t have any boundaries. (What woman in California-in her right mind- wants to date a guy from Toronto or Saskatoon, Canada? Consensus: None.)


A couple of the ladies explored JDate. Anne called herself “The sexy shiksa” and got a lot of attention. The cutest guy that she ‘matched’- lived in Seattle- and was an Irish Catholic. Go figure. Amen.

A few tried Craigslist San Francisco “Women looking for Men.” While once a viable resource, now Craigs is bit kinky and skanky. What else would you expect from a totally anonymous/ no photos required/ free site?

No time Like OurTime.comAfter three months around the compound, friends Janine and Eileen (both divorced, 50-something, empty nesters) quit the site. Each woman had a handful of First Dates, kissed a few frogs, and became very frustrated by the number of men who didn’t respond to their friendly opening lines. Were the men blatantly rude or merely out to lunch?

On a lark, the two friends decided to try  despite warnings it is  the ugly stepsister of…

NOTE:,, Tinder, SpeedDate,, OKCupid, How About We, Meetic, and a dozen other dating sites are all owned by the same company, IAC

 Ourtime has a completely different vibe. Seemingly,  flat and lackluster, three quarters of the screen is dedicated to dating and ¼ is obnoxious advertisements. Don’t be surprised by H&R Block, ugly black beetles, life insurance and men’s underwear ads. Yes, all of these are sidebars on the dating site. No, it is not a free site. It will cost you $27 for one month.

Most dating sites allow you to state your preferences…. OurTime – not so much. Chatting is highly promoted and your Chat-Now button is always “on” unless, you turn it off. Frequently. The infamous “wink” from is replaced with “flirt.”

First brimming with optimism, the two friends were unimpressed by the website. It was clunky, the men’s underwear ads were a true turn off and the postage-stamp sized photos were a buzzkill.

Deja Vu

Of course, they saw many familiar faces from Match and the hustler using the fake, male model photo was all over Janine with flirts, emails, notes the first hour she had joined. They gave the site just under 30 days to avoid being “re-upped” for another month. Next? The ladies are going to take a break…


How hard is it to slip away (aka: quit) from Ourtime?

 Woe and Whoa is me! – I can’t quit you.

How to Quit OurTime? Here are the byzantine  website directives:

  1. Canceling a subscription does not automatically cancel your membership.
  2. If you are a subscriber and you cancel your subscription but not your membership, unless you elect to delete or hide your profile you will continue to be a Member in the Service and others may view your profile.
  3. If you hide your membership, your profile will be hidden and other Members will not be able to view your profile until you reactivate your membership.

4. If you delete your membership, your profile will be removed and other Members will not be able to view your profile and you will not be able to reactivate your membership.

5.  Members can hide or delete their profile at any time by following the instructions contained on the “My Account” page on the Website.

This is a very telling excerpt from OurTime:

photo_12349_20090723frogCustomer Service. The Company provides assistance and guidance through its customer care representatives. When communicating with our customer care representatives (whether over the telephone, or via email or letter), you may not be abusive, obscene, profane, offensive, sexist, threatening, harassing, racially offensive, or otherwise behave inappropriately.

PicMonkey Collage

This entry was posted in Relationship, single in Marin, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Try a new dating site? Skip this time

  1. Pl says:

    Reblogged this on Suddenly Single in Marin and commented:

    Dater Beware: Read this!

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