First Date: Always invoke the right to remain silent?

IMG_1208There you are, perched on a bar stool, dressed to impress, meeting Mike B.(56, spiritual-not-religious, sports fan and mystery lover) from Oakland, for the first time.

You met on OKCupid – his photos were okay, his comments were cute and quirky and he had a certain jene se quois. He said he was passionate about sports and cars. You exchanged four flirty emails before he said, “Let’s meet.” You suggested talking on the phone and he disappeared for a couple of days. He re-appeared and sent his phone number with a    “I dare you to call me.”

With more points in the “quirky” than cute column – you act on his dare and call.

Strange Phone Calls are huge red flags

Mike answers the phone, mumbles ‘hello,’ asks how you are then asks for your address. You deftly side-step that one with a laugh, and and he asks where you work, you say, “I’ll tell you when I see you.” You naively think, “A man who asks questions, how refreshing.”

He suggests meeting at The No Name Bar. It sounds novel and mysterious and you agree. (Note: novel and mysterious belong in a bookstore not a bar.)

Do you have right to remain silent? You betcha!

 The first date lesson: When a man starts asking you for your address and where you work and how much money you make, start pulling your purse towards you; when he asks what you are tipping the scales at, reach for your keys; and if he even dares to ask your “True age,” continue with ‘Your right to remain silent’- refuse to dignify the questions and bolt, baby, bolt.

There is no need to remain sweet or charming; Say goodnight, Gracie.

As a Rule: you (Tell a Friend) told a good friend where you were going, who you were meeting and at what time. Upon departure, call your contact person and let them know you are leaving – details later. Leave.

Chalk this one up to “Failed to notice the plethora of red flags,” and next time don’t be in a rush to have a date and accept the fact that “mysterious and quirky” at this age don’t bode well.

You never have answer uncomfortable questions…from a date…or a policeman, Binkie.

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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” Mark Twain

 

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This entry was posted in Marin County, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, single in Marin and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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