How to ruin a first date? Ask 50 questions – buzzkill!

sad man

No one would ever call Patrick (divorced, 57, 5’9, IP lawyer, Sausalito, tennis, chess, competitive Ping-Pong player, Scorpio) an ‘Easy Read.’ Some say he is complex with vague overtones of intense and unpredictable.

Mutual friends thought he would a perfect match for my friend, Karyn (54, 5’7, writer, hiker, skier, gourmet/ vegetarian cook with a penchant for red wines and red licorice)

Was it because they thought the two were opposites? No, they said Patrick needed to lighten up and they knew Karyn would be the perfect elixer.

Let the emails begin 

His  first email was friendly and formal.  She responded, in kind. It’s what women do. He advised her that he had a couple of “Fun Questions” to ask. She thought it sounded interesting and readily agreed.  And then the queries arrived.

His “Top Ten Questions” were:

  1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
  2. What is your current state of mind?
  3. What is your greatest fear?
  4. What is your favorite way of spending time?
  5. Which living person do you most admire?
  6. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
  7. Who are your favorite fictional heroes?
  8. Who are your heroes in real life?
  9. Who are your favorite writers?
  10. Who are your favorite composers?


Coming Up Empty- Too Much, Too Soon, Too Fast?

The good old days of simple “Do you come here often?” or “What’s your sign?” are evidently, so passé. If nothing else, Karyn is a very good sport and she gently tackled the assignment.  She was also wise enough to have our wild and erudite Book Club over for wine and hors d’oeuvres to assist her in her endeavors. Wine inspires! In Vino veritas

Strength in numbers?  We flew through the questions with fun, glib and irreverent answers. She emailed Patrick with a disclaimer that she skipped a few of the onerous questions and took the rest with modicum of humor and light.

It took him three days to respond. The Book Club Babes waited with baited breath. Would he laugh? Give Up? Be overwhelmed or intrigued?

That little romp was the beginning of a beautiful relationship – and five years later, he is a happier,  much more relaxed and calmer camper – loved by the Book Club Babes.

Who knew? The Take Away? Always Say “Yes!” to interesting invitations…

golden-gate-bridge-534614__180 Tell me your story:



This entry was posted in Dating in Marin, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, single in Marin, suddenly single and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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