Sweet! Got a friend with benefits?


Tess, 39-perpetually, just got hired in the Housewares department at Macy’s.

She is the self proclaimed ‘Blender Babe’ of the Kitchenware department. Her itsy-bitsy miniscule paycheck is overshadowed by the promise of ‘Benefits.” In eight- weeks, Tess will be granted a decent Health /Benefits package.  Hey, the mantra these days is, “It’s all about the benefits, friend.”

During the Human Resources Hustle orientation, Tess said the well rehearsed, fast-talking, instructor explained that benefits were just like dating. Go figure. She continued,  “For two-months we check you out. We watch you and we see how you perform; if you show up on time, if you are loyal and passionate.

If you do as you promise, we will be your friends, with benefits. If you don’t call, don’t show up, fool around, cheat, lie or steal, we withhold benefits and, Honey, you are history!”  Buh–bye…

This was a metaphor Tess readily “Got” and she marveled how Romance and Retail mirrored one another.

Tess is all about benefits. And shopping around…shop, shop, shop around…

Friends, we all know about brand loyalty, performing well, and integrity.

My friend with benefits, Tess, is ready to blend. Her new mantra- date early, date often – make friends.



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