He keeps long hours, lives in a drop-dead gorgeous penthouse on Nob Hill and has no social life. His little black book -his social register -lists women he takes to the symphony, opera, and art openings or to the odd fundraiser.
He has been divorced for 5 years, his kids are “launched” and he has zero family on the west coast. A senior partner in a huge law firm, he has more money than Croesus, has the cabin at Vail and a small villa in Mexico. He recently called me to report he was finally, “Ready and willing to date.”
When I asked him to describe his “Dream Date” he said he was looking for an “Ivy Leaguer, a professional, 20 years his junior, preferably another attorney,” so they could talk law, politics, and current events.” That’s it? A man in his office had tried eHarmony and within a week found his doppelgänger date (another attorney, same age, both divorced, both had kids launched.) Clay thought that would be the ideal situation. The customer is always right – until they’re not.
Wanted: My date for life.
So, we gave it a whirl. We worked together to get Clay’s online profile up and running. Note: When a client has a nonexistent social life and very few interests – it is a Herculean task to get them to look attractive and interesting – and to dispel the dismal workaholic- personality-effect. We decided ‘to emphasize the positive’ and mention skiing, the gym, the kids and his love of San Francisco and his wish to explore the City and spend more time having fun. Clay was not shy about announcing he was looking for a “Date for life”.
Take Two: Another Approach
Three months and eight dead-end dates later on eHarmony – Clay realized he did not want to mentally spar with someone, to debate the national debt crisis or talk about law. He realized he had better rapport with the waitress at the local diner than he did for the parade of beautiful, smart women from the dating company. He was beginning to see the light.
If at first you don’t succeed try, try, try…
So, we tried again. He deleted his ‘Must be Mensa shopping list’ and decided to look for attractive women – in his age group, geographically acceptable –with whom he might have something in common. What a concept. He decided he wanted to learn to establish rapport, have fun, and get back into the dating game, slowly and methodically and enjoyably. Admittedly, he’d been away from dating for so long he was stilted and awkward -despite all the flourish and banter of his courtroom career.
Clay is out there – so are Michael, Timothy, Randall, and Ben – men looking for a woman their age (around 50) to connect with, go to a movie and dinner with – go dancing –to have fun with… Granted, it takes time, it takes effort, gumption and tenacity and it’s a lot of fun. Clay has put his high falutin’ ideas aside and is dating his decade, meeting interesting women and having more fun.
If you’re thinking about getting in the dating game- give it a try – Contact me firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s work together to get your online dating profile up and running.
Why waste another day? Now, go outside and have some fun!