Dating 101: Slow Down and Enjoy the Ride

Best advice: slow down and have fun in this new chapter

Are you one of those Photo-shoppers – one who only looks at the online picture and never reads the profile? Do you quickly scan 10 pictures a day on the online dating site and give up? Slow down, Binkie.

Enjoy the online dating experience.

Rather than rushing to push the ‘Delete’ button as you read  dating profiles, take the time. Try this: reach out and connect. Everyday, Send two emails out. That’s all – just two- short and sweet little notes. An introductory email can two lines: “I enjoyed your profile and noticed we have a few things in common. Hope you will take a look at mine and get back to me.” Nothing ventured – nothing gained.  You never know whom you will meet.

Skip the Stereotypes and pre-conceived notions.

The Berkeley Babes Get a Bad Rap

Fact: Not every ‘Single and 50’ Berkeley woman drives an antique Volvo, wears Birkenstocks, has gray hair, chides makeup and hides in voluminous skirts. Stereotypes abound. ‘Walnut Creek Wilson’ hesitated when he received an e-mail from a Match.com woman named, ‘Babs of Berkeley.’ He said her only picture was taken from afar. She was into photography, pottery, and playing pool. Wilson admits that was going to brush her off- then decided to engage. They exchanged numerous e-mails, spoke on the phone, met for coffee at Peet’s on Fourth Street and have been inseparable ever since. He readily admits her photograph didn’t do her justice. That was three years ago. (Big lesson here, boys and girls– pay attention to your photographs – post the best ones.)

The Voice of Reason

Chrissie, the self-proclaimed ‘poor little Match.com girl’ and ‘Palo Alto Ron’ exchanged pithy, flirty, fun e-mails for two weeks. She was smitten. Finally, their busy schedules matched and they spoke on the phone. She said he sounded like froggy John Madden, and she call the whole thing off. Her friends -smarter and less superficial- advised her to wise up and meet Ron. She did. Cupid’s sprayed love and Eros and they’ve been together for two years.

Be an Open-Minded Sport?

Henry swings a tennis racket and a golf club every week. He works out three times a week and rides a bike every day.

He is a real jock and he vowed he would only date another jock- then he met Lisa. She is a young grandmother, an accomplished sculptor, walks on Ocean beach each evening and doesn’t “do” sports. Henry saw Lisa’s profile on OkCupid – it seemed they had nothing in common – however, they both used to volunteer for Guide Dogs for the Blind. On an impulse, he reached out and found out they could talk for hours, loved the same books (Steig Larsson and Stephen King) and both were from Brooklyn and were each the youngest of six children. Bam! Henry woke up and changed his mind and his heart. That all happened in 2009. It’s been very happily ever.

New: Try a brand new way to connect with people: See Parlu -better than Facebook!

PARLU: Don’t just add friends. Make them.

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