Everyone’s got a
‘First Date Horror Story’
Hang around the water cooler long enough and you are bound to hear dating stories: the good, the bad and the very ugly.
You’ll notice people love to repeat the horror stories. It seems, married people – especially- want to hear how ghastly and dreadful it is out there in Suddenly Single Land. Sure, they’ll be happy you met someone, but they really want to hear about the heel, the fake, and the all-talk-no-action playboy who forgot his wallet.
Do expect to hear a plethora of obnoxious stories: “On the phone, he sounded like Rush Limbaugh.” “She was 15 years older than her picture.” “He was 5’1 and claimed to be a jock. He must’ve meant jockey.” “All she wanted was a monthly dinner date-on me.” “He forgot his wallet, flirted with the waitress and asked for a ride home-to Novato.”
Keep listening. And you’ll eventually hear stories like, “I met the love of my life online.” Or, “I met the most wonderful woman online. We’ve been dating six months.” “I never thought it would happen. Yes, it took time, but I met a really great guy/gal.” And, “I went on over 25 dates- with 8 different guy- but I did, eventually, meet my date for life.”
Buyer Beware. You’ll need plenty of gold to sign up for one of the various high-rent dating companies. Whether you pay the exorbitant ($3000) to have dinner with six strangers or ($2500) to go out to lunch. Before whipping out the plastic – read the online reviews (Yelp) and decide if you get more disappointment or joy for thousands of dollars.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire?
Ebony was a San Rafael attorney with a reputation as a ball-buster who took a hiatus from the law to find a man. Her friends will tell you, she was both a smoker and house on fire. When she posted her virtual album of glamorous pictures on Eharmony, she checked the ‘non-smoker’ box. Her reasoning, “Once he meets me, he will be so in love with me, he won’t even notice I smoke.”
A few men sniffed around and left in a puff of smoke. After a plethora of dead-end dates, Ebony met her match. She finally met and enchanted a man; he was the CEO of a start-up gone public and they live happily ever after. It’s been six months. Whereas they won’t admit it, they both smoke.
Mimi says she’s 39 (read: 52) Paul claims he is single – actually, he is separated, from his third wife, and is testing the dating waters. Tammy says she works “in the arts” and you will find her at a famous ‘club’ on Broadway – wearing little more than a smile. Ben writes that he is ‘a health nut’ – he neglects to say he is a strict gluten-free, raw-food, Vegan, big fan of Newt G, who does naked yoga and exorcisms on week ends. He only wears the color purple and has 6 silver rings- in each ear. The photos he posts online are fuzzy and taken from a distance. Sylvie stated on her Match.com profile that her kids were “all grown up.” She didn’t think she needed to divulge that her three adult children lived with her and her four cats.
Your job in this new adventure? Ask questions and then ask more questions. Remember, the truth will really set you free.
Look Before you Leap
“Accuracy is the twin brother of honesty; inaccuracy, of dishonesty.” Nathaniel Hawthorne
Be sure to check out various online dating companies before you commit to any dating sites.
Good luck and have fun out there.
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