Gee, rain! Marin welcomes gray skies; bring it


The California drought has ceased and desisted.

We are in the green!



The hills of Sausalito are wild with potential.

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

Langston Hughes



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Loose lips sink ships – and first dates.

Whoa! Look Out – Be Careful Out There in Datelined.

Suddenly Single in Marin

photo_1839_20060807Jeff (52, divorced, PhD,) met Carly (44, newly divorced, Pilates instructor) online and they agreed to meet for lunch. She, the wealthy Marin divorcee-blonde, beautiful and after sharing a bottle of wine at lunch – turns out, was a bit of a tramp.

Pre-wine, Carly was all about dropping names, talking about Cal (the toughest six months of her life) her wonderful children, skiing and golf, her fabulous life, and nothing about her ex.

Post wine, the façade dropped. She mentioned her ex was a Marin playboy who graduated from Branson then attended the University of Arizona. “Frat boy” only began to describe his social life and his 5-year career college. He was in line to take over Daddy’s business.

They met at a San Francisco Spinster’s party. She was the perfect eye candy, then arm candy, and eventually, they took the long walk down the aisle…

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Mean Girls are forever. Right?

dukes_up__Kristy, Casey, Maralyn, and Toni were the first Mean Girls I met in college.

The four travelled in a pack. They were loud, outgoing and popular with the guys. Looking back, they were “Party girls” who knew and dated a whole lot of guys on campus.

My Junior year, I elected to study for a quarter in Mexico City. My friend, Susie, joined me.

There was a huge Going Away party for us. A dozen friends saw us off at SFO with signs, gifts, and balloons. Hours later, we arrived in Mexico City to start our foreign experience: our Mexican holiday.socorro-mission-1091457__180

The small campus was relatively new with tree-lined paths and grassy knolls and dancing fountains. We learned the pathetic cafeteria was best when it served tea, bread, jam and quesadillas. Bananas, apples and packaged cupcakes were our go to /safe foods.

On the second day of exploring campus and finding classrooms, Susie I ran into four other kids from “our school.” We had no idea there were other “Cardinals” in Mexico. I recognized two of the girls. We approached them to say hello and introduce ourselves.

The four were cool, bordering on rude, to our introduction. We walked away both commenting, “How rude!” A week later, another Cardinal, Johnny B, arrived and joined that group. However, he was very friendly to us. The Mean Girls were aloof and rarely said “hi” the entire quarter.mexico-1092587__180

Baffled and bored by their behavior, we didn’t engage. We might see them as we traveled through Oaxaca or San Miguel de Allende and wave hello, they would ignore us or nod.

The time in Mexico was magical-we had amazing classes, outstanding field trips, a bunch of new friends- many were Internationals – their parents were diplomats or heads of large corporations. We were invited to gorgeous homes -all of which had maids and cooks and chauffeurs! Thankfully, we enjoyed some of the best meals we had in Mexico.


After we returned to school– once in a while, I’d see the group. Johnny B was always fun and amusing. The Mexico Four were mildly nicer.

Once, I was invited to a birthday party for Kristy, the wild child (20) with a preference for vodka rocks and Marlboro cigarettes.

The party was in her dorm room. Her bulletin board was decorated with multiple black-and-white pictures of her hanging off of guys at parties. On her desk wall was a calendar- a quick glance, it looked like she was monitoring her Period. I’d never seen a girl display this information in public. As a rule, we hide private stuff like that. Not her. Strange.

I had a flood of friends, who – by definition, were smart, fun and kind. There was not a mean girl in my world, except for the Mexico Four.

photo_2787_20070814Flash forward, two decades and a friend was taking her son to kindergarten and ran into Toni, amongst the clutch of moms.

My friend said hello to Toni who snapped “Don’t you dare tell anyone we went to school together or that we are the same age,” and walked off.

Last Christmas, I was at a lovely party and ran into Casey. I reintroduced myself and said I didn’t think we’d seen each other since Mexico. She looked at me, maybe through me, and said, “Oh. Hi.” I smiled and wished her a good evening.


So if you’re wondering if a zebra can change it’s stripes or do mean girls change? Take it from me, Mean Girls are forever.

Unless something magical or tragical happens, mean girls, sadly, remain the same.


Prove me wrong


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Face it: San Francisco has more characters than Marin

There’s no doubt about it. Marin County pales in comparison when it comes to the unique and unusual.


Janis_Joplin_ Palace__

San Francisco:

“No city invites the heart to come to life as San Francisco does. Arrival in San Francisco is an experience in living”
William Saroyan


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Slow down on the speed dating?

 Speed Dating has been called a lot of things, its never been called dull.

The concept of Speed Dating is approximately 25 men and women spending five – seven minutes  chatting with a total stranger, asking discreetly ‘open’ questions or just chatting and going for the “vibe,” as George C  told me on Saturday night.

George C, a true-blue, veteran of Speed Dating,  says he meets more “appealing women” playing  “Grown-Up Musical Chairs” than anywhere else.

Laconic and easy-going, George C  whispered his success secret in my ear. He claims his modus operandi brings winning results. So, once a month, he plays musical chairs. I asked him if seven minutes was  long enough time to tell if the person sitting across from him was emotional or intellectual equal? He threw his head back and laughed loudly. He said he was looking for his “Twin” (he has two PhD’s in engineering something.) He just wanted to meet someone to go to the movies with, to explore museums, try kayaking and go to the SF Giants games.  He laughingly said his goal is to meet a cute, single 50+, Giants season ticket holder.

What was his Secret to Success? He said, sit back, relax and be yourself (…everyone else is already taken.)


Play Ball

Chance Encounter

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Stop! Don’t do this on a date. Please.


Six Classic Nightmare Dates…

It’s called “Happy Hour” not “All you can Drink Hour” Listen, Lucious, Lighten up on the libations. Being on your best behavior is one of the top tenets of Dating 101.

You Missed Manners: You took three phone calls during a 20-minute coffee date. Yes, you were frothy with apologies – but flat, with sincerity and manners. First impressions last forever.
Liar’s Dicey: You wrote on your profile that you were an “Economist. ” In person, you admitted you were a ‘Shared Economist.’ Actually, you divulged you rent out your kid’s room on Air BnB and drive for Lyft and the concept of Monkey Parking seems promising to you. Perhaps you meant to say you were an ‘Embellisher and an Entrepreneur.” The truth will see you free…

Not in Vogue: You showed up wearing Uggs and pajamas at 11:00 AM for a coffee date at Mel’s Drive-In on Geary Boulevard. Sweetie, newsflash: you are 50, not 15. No, Jammies in public for you.


“Bitchen” used to mean something else: By pure coincidence, you met in the parking lot and your little white dog was in your lap, hanging out the car window. The same hyper, yappy, little white lap dog accompanied you on the date. You paid more attention to the canine. Adios, muchacha! Go Fetch!

Bulldozer Interview: You came on really strong-inquiring about his income, home address, where his ex-wife lived, and if he required any medicinal “lifts” in the boudoir. Really? All could be considered coarse, crass, none of your business and Buzz-kill 101.

The Golden Rule applies to dating, too.

Treat your date as you wish to be treated. Play Nice!


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Sext in the City: Part Two – church hopping n’ hoping

For two single women who worship at the altar of Mae West, Church Hopping to find single men proved to be exciting. They approached the task with a modicum of seriousness and a cavalier bent. They came across a quote they adopted for the exploration:

 “Life is a song – sing it. Life is a game – play it. Life is a challenge – meet it.

Life is a dream – realize it. Life is a sacrifice – offer it. Life is loveenjoy it.     Sai Baba


First Stop on the Top Five Best Places/Religious to Find Single Men:

Grace Cathedral, EvensongThursdays 5:15pm-6:000pm. Rose, a Roman Catholic Single, told the girls about  Evensong at Grace on Nob Hill. She raved about the unique, meditative experience of sitting in the sanctuary at the Cathedral listening to the cherubic voices of the Cathedral’s Men and Boys choir. Divine.    Bonus: The Big 4 at the Huntington Hotel across the street

Trinity Episcopal Church Some enchanted Evening? Great Date: Drop in to  Taize on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm at Trinity. An incredible experience in a church on a Wednesday evening. You’ve seen the impressive, massive red doors at Trinity. Prepare to be even more impressed. The hour-long experience involves chanting, prayer, readings (Rumi, the Bible, Thoreau) rapturous voices and exquisite, romantic candlelight. Tres romantique – date needed.

Glide Memorial Church, Tip: Get there early: Sundays 9:00am and 11:00am Both admitted, they had been meaning to go to Glide for years.  There is no time like the present. Go Sunday – arrive early. (30 minutes) Prepare to scour area for parking. Then sing, rock, and reverberate, pray. All God’s Children attend the service. Interesting crowd.

Congregation Emanu-El – Stunningly beautiful Temple Emanu-El with a social and spiritual calendar that appeals to a vast cross- section of members and the rest of us. They have a dynamic rendition of a 20/30 Club, amazing lectures, events and yoga. Go, already.

Green Gulch Farm, Get your Zen on in Marin County, Nourish your mind, body, spirit. Green Gulch is a short drive from the City and a world away. A Buddhist practice center in Japanese Soto Zen tradition. Honey, they have bee keeping, retreats, lectures, mindfulness and nothingness. A sublime getaway destination for single and couples.

The Takeaway? The ladies of the light…subscribe to the “It is better to be looked over than overlooked” philosophy of Ms West (See below)

There wasn’t enough ‘looks over’ in the houses of worship they visited. Next!

church-pews-1190412__180 Empty Pews…Coming up Empty.

See here for more Mae West Wisdom

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OMG! Sect in the City: church hopping

 After years of Dating Research and Development, she  finally concluded, “Where do you meet the perfect guy in the Bay Area?  In Church, of course!”

  In a “I should had V-8 epiphany  she decided to check out churches for single,  straight, available, age-appropriate, employed/ retired men.

 Candy called it a new spin on “Sex and the city.”

I told her she should call it “Sect in the City.”   Armed with a  newly created,  Top 10 best churches in San Francisco list, research from Google maps,  a superfluous understanding of local history,  we started the search.  We decided to go to churches, temples and synagogues.  Something told us to skip  Foursquare Gospel,  Bible thumper’s, and snake charmers.  We had a feeling  Mormons would’t take too  warmly to two single women, with blue eye shadow,  short skirts, tall boots, on the lookout for men.

Crz_evil Date_one

Several churches had websites promoting “Sacred Singles events (i.e. Bible reading for singles; Divorced/ Single/ Widow Bible-based Hikes;  and Oy Vey! JDate singles meet ups) A Blessing!

 Boldly, we went where two Single Marin Girls had not gone before. We both agreed no praying – we  were, admittedly, preying!

And so it begins…Bible Class…


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Same old song – dating debacles


Letters from Single and 50: Singles just wanna  make beautiful music together.

Karyn writes: “He said he was a musician; that sounded cool. Then, he told me he played the Air Banjo. Buzzkill”

“On her Dating Profile, “Ms Frisco” she said she loved music. Intrigued, I wrote back and asked her what kind of  music she enjoyed. She said she liked KOIT. That’s a radio station!”

“Hayward Hi-Jinks,” a “One-time jester and a clown,” wrote on his profile that  he only listened to musicians whose names started with the letter “R.” Valerie the Viken from Valleho  guessed Rachmaninoff ?   He wrote No, he liked REM, Rascal Flatts, Ramones and Radioactive ChickenHeads.  Next!


Joan of Ark writes, “I”m bored! Tell me five fun places for a date!”

Easy! Try one or all of these hot date tips:

  1. Best slice of pizza date: Nizarios On Geary Boulevard
    2. Best coffee and pie date: Park Chow near Golden Gate Park
    3. Best run, run, as fast as you can: Bay to Breakers on Sunday in May.
    4.Best Blues show: Earl Thomas – Saturday night at Biscuit and Blues
    5. Best trampoline date: House of Air in the Presidio
    6. Best hang out in a new ‘hood: Explore West Portal – have lunch, see movie, shop, walk to the beach.
    7. Best what music do you like date: Amoeba Records on Haight
    8. Best speakeasy date: Bourbon and Branch
    9. Best long walk on the beach: Ocean Beach at Fulton Street
    10.Best donut and coffee date: Dynamo Donutsimages-105

“Without music, life would be an error.”

Friedrich Nietzsche


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Two Worst Party Invitations – don’t try this at home

The Millenials at the start up work really hard…as a result,  their social skills are rusty – to say the least. They work way too hard and party way too little.

Wanting to appear crazy fun- they sent out this Come to the Party invitation:


Meanwhile, across town, a bunch of engineers decided to have a wild and crazy Christmas bash and created this sweet, if not, demure Holiday Invite:

Group of Multiethnic Diverse Cheerful People

What’s wrong with these invites? Remember, Rule #1 Invitations: No photo required. Rule #2 Invitations: Keep it Simple: Who, What When and  Where.                                        (Funny Hats optional.)

For Invite Help See:


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