The real secret to Dating at 50+ Success?

The Secret to Dating Success? Read this:

Suddenly Single in Marin

happy woman

 What is the current, sexy, top secret to dating success?

Pssst: It doesn’t involve  diamonds, lavish gifts  or Champagne and flirty bon mots at Cavallo Point. Hot cars, high heels, or hefty portfolios are not the piece de’ resistance. Even the sculpted, varnished Barbie or Ken Doll Perfect, nip and tuck, make-over isn’t the key.

The passport to meeting the love of your life, or your newest friend, or your Date for Life is simple: Low Expectations.

couple-437987__180Blinded by fairy tales, unrealistic dreams, gently inflated egos and sky-high hopes for Prince Charming – or a really sexy Cinderella – Single and 50 people cruise by one another all  day long...

Get real.

Delete the:  “My Man Must over 6′, healthy, wealthy and wise” or “She Should Be: athletic, svelte, sexy, and able to change into a little black dress or jeans in the blink of an eye.”

Lower your expectations –  

Smile and  say…

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Top 10 Reasons he will ask you out again

Yes! Top 10 Reasons- Second Date

Suddenly Single in Marin

wedding-495271__340We all do it. We wonder, mull, ponder and dwell on it. We dissect and thoroughly analyze.

Eve is probably the only woman in history who didn’t worry about the competition.

We get bewitched, bothered and bewildered wondering if the first date went well and if he will ask you out again? Do an instant replay. While a scorecard isn’t necessary, there are some very definite clues.

Here they are: The Top 10 Reasons He Will Ask You Out Again

1. You look exactly like your current, up-to-date, photographs and he says, “Your pictures don’t do you justice”.

2. You offered to pay half – Big Points: you are obviously thoughtful and evolved.

3. You both laughed and share a similar sense of humor. Obvious comfort level established.

4. You had one drink – and so did he. Both on very good behavior. Major points.

5. You both passed…

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Are you afraid to be a Single.. dare to be a Double?

What are we all so afraid of in Dating World 2018?

Since when did men and women become so afraid of one another?

Does on line dating perpetuate a fear of rejection…

or a fear of reception?

Perhaps the breakneck speed of online dating has given singles ‘Virtual Whiplash’ and an abject fear of rejection.

 

If you are enrolled in a dating service like Match.com or EHarmony you see a parade of faces skating before your eyes everyday. Lo and behold, the following day, there is another picture parade-of-perfect matches. This may cause side effects of head spinning, heart palpitations and ego swelling.

Photo-shopping?                                 

And so evolves, a virtual shopping spree with a Photo-Shopping bent. Wannabe-daters go from diligently reading profiles and daydreaming to simply scanning pictures.

It might look something like this: Pat: 50, tennis pro, poet, chef, looks good, but Shelly, Noble Peace Prize winner, spelunker, yo-yo champ-looks better. Like a kid on an Easter egg hunt, you pick up one brightly colored object and dismiss it just as quickly, thinking something better will come along. This can’t be good.

Doctor Love: Be intimate and  be independent

Dr Joan M is a leading San Francisco psychologist who studies relationships. She recently said some of her clients have more first-dates than they knew what to do with. One peripatetic client met with 90 women in his first two  years of being newly divorced.

Speedy and Needy? As a result of his speedy and needy date-bait behavior he had the classic Clint Eastwood experience and thought he  met “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.”

However,with guidance-  he played the numbers game for a long time, was laser-focused and eventually met and wed his true soul mate.

Dr Joan  maintains suddenly single men and women hovering around age 50, want relationships. However, with age, a new requirement has transpired: both sexes have a need for real intimacy and true independence.

They have quaffed the Kool-Aid and succumbed to, as one woman put it, “a need to be in his arms and then be an arm’s length away.” She concluded, a healthy dose of compromise and honesty are necessary for a healthy relationship.

Kissing Frogs

Your call: do you kiss a few frogs, or steadfastly hold out for the perfect Prince Charming / Princess Charisma and be a bachelor for life? Would you open your eyes and heart for a fun and fulfilling relationship with the guy or girl next door?

Take your “Must Have List” – the dreamy, long list of  perfect qualities in your Perfect Mate and shred it ~  Get real.

Look in the mirror: you have to be the person you want to attract.< Ribbit.>

Read: Page Larkin’s Dating 101 – What Are We Afraid of?

San Franciscoamd Marin  Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

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I’ve got a secret: like Chance Gardener- I like to watch

Watching Marin Co Couples on a First Date. Ouch!

Suddenly Single in Marin

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One of Marin’s most famous watering holes is in downtown Sausalito.

Some belly up to the bar to watch the two old curmudgeon bartenders verbally swat and snipe – others come to watch sports and/or throw a couple back.

Then, there are the First Daters. Marin Singles flock to this bar for the location, ambiance and – if, on the odd chance, the date is a homerun – it could turn into dinner –a romantic restaurant near by.

How can you tell a First Dater? They are so obvious by the nervous energy, the all-dressed-up and the posing. Posing is another term for “show and tell.” He wears a class ring or an expensive watch, and rolls his cuff back for all to see. She crosses her legs, throws an arm over the back of the bar stool and displays “attributes.” She leans in – he puts his hand…

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Dear Mr. Easter Bunny, bring me a sweetheart





Dear Easter Bunny,

Skip the chocolate drops, the Pink Peeps and the pastel jelly beans.

 This year, cancel the Marshmallow Eggs and the yummy bonbons from See’s, Godiva and TCHO.

 Bring me a man.

You get around. You know the score: 1.5 zillion single men and women in the United States are online- all hovering over their computer screens Match-ing, being Tinder, seeking Chemistry and Harmony.

It is not all sweetness and light, Mr. Peter Cottontail.

couple-437987__180Mr. Rabbit, I need sugar.

No, not that white stuff and certainly not the high-fructose-corn-syrup stuff, either.  I want real sugar, a sweetheart.

I asked Mr. Sandman to bring me a dream.

eggs-672460__180Didn’t happen.

I even asked Santa Claus (when it was a real Silent Night) to bring a bouquet of mistletoe and put Mr. McDreamy under my tree… And what did I get? Veritable coal in my Christmas stocking. Ouch!

eggs-669237__180Recently, I met one man, he was mad as a March hareLast week, I met another guy, a bike rider – actually – Harley-Davidson /Hells Angels caliber with a gleaming, chrome dome (no hare.)

All I want for Easter is …    So, Mr. Easter Bunny, skip the chocolates and bring me a sweetheart.

Love and kisses,

Miss Marry Marin

aka    Amazing Grace

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You are Amazing, Grace!

Thanks for sharing your your “love letter” to  Peter Cottontail. I bet those cute guys on Match.com will love it.

Love,  Page

 

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OMG! Sect in the City? Church hopping

Sect in the City? No Bibles required…

Suddenly Single in Marin

 After years of Dating Research and Development, she  finally concluded, “Where do you meet the perfect guy in the Bay Area?  In Church, of course!”

  In a “I should had V-8” epiphany,  she decided to check out churches for single,  straight, available, age-appropriate, employed/ retired men.
photo_1529_20060508church  Candy called it a new spin on “Sex and the City.”

I told her she should call it “Sect in the City.”   Armed with a  newly created,  Top 10 best churches in San Francisco list, research from Google maps,  a superfluous understanding of local history,  we started the search.  We decided to go to churches, temples and synagogues.  Something told us to skip  Foursquare Gospel,  Bible thumper’s, and snake charmers.  We had a feeling  Mormons would’t take too  warmly to two single women, with blue eye shadow,  short skirts, tall boots, on the lookout for men.


church-christian-winter-snow-161171.jpegSeveral churches had websites promoting “Sacred Singles events (i.e. Bible reading for…

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Dating 101: Don’t ask their height or weight

 

Hot Tip for  Swinging Singles

In the beginning…

Listen up: Dating Newbies. Sure, you are excited- you have signed up on a dating website and people like you – they really like you. Take a breath. Slow down a little bit.  Tennis Tom in Tiburon may be hot to trot and Freddie in Fairfax may be proposing an afternoon at the hot springs. Buckeye101 may want to wine you and dine you – sight unseen- prior to even speaking on the phone.

Don’t.

Slow Down: Remember, online dating is not a sprint. It is a walk, a stroll, and exploratory. Due diligence is required before the first date – as impetuous as you want to be.  Exchange emails, ask questions, speak on the phone for a long time. Converse and exchange information.

Texting is for sissies.

Meeting for the first time is supposed to be fun, enjoyable, and a potential opportunity to click with a kindred spirit. Play nice. No coy guessing games. No flirting with the hottie at the next table. Bad form – and if your date does it – walk out – time is too precious and that Red Flag is huge.

Discreet: Just because you both signed up for the same dating site doesn’t mean – at first blush – you have to divulge your income, IQ, blood type, or divorce settlement. Yes, it is expected that you both be up front and honest.

Weight, Weight: Don’t tell me:
AKA Wait a minute: Weight and other touchy subjects

  • Even the best of friends don’t ask, “So what are you tipping the scales at now, Tiny?”  We don’t do it.
  •  Why would you ask a heavy-handed question like that on a date? You do the math: they are a S, M, L, or XL.
  •  There’s no way a guy who’s 6’5 can hide that fact.
  • And, Sugar, there’s no way a guy 5’ 6 can pass for 5’10 -so don’t even try.

Your new Mantra: Avoid Bad Dates – life is too short.

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Dating 101: Does sex change everything?

Dating at 50 or Back in the Saddle, again.

When you re-enter the Dating Jungle – the lush, tropical, sultry, sexy jungle of dating – after an acrid, dry, desert of a dead marriage, you learn a lot.  Fast.

Has it been…20 years since your last date?

Here are  few secrets: The clever little games you used to play, so well, in Dating World circa 20 years ago –no longer apply. They are out of style and defunct. Waiting for the phone to ring is so 2001.

Get ready to make the first move, call a man, and to flirt via text. (Note: Skip the sexting – booty calls and sleepovers.)

Get ready for women who date a younger man to be called “Cougars” – and older men who date girls decades younger to be called “Lucky.”

 Relationships in 2018 are faster and more frenetic than you could ever imagine the last time you were single. Actually, dating these days is more like riding the electronic bucking bull that we all saw  in the old John Travolta movie.

You may think, “Even though I am totally out of practice, I will keep my wits about me, I will remained dignified and in control…” and really, at first, Binkie, you will be holding on for dear life.

photo_26831_20130808The First Dates

So you start dating, and you finally connect with a Potential Mr. Right and things progress. 

Just like riding a bucking bronco, not only does the pace pick up, but it becomes more difficult to hang on as time goes on… and you both discover dirty little secrets about one another. He rattles the coins in his pockets as he walks through the DeYoung. Safeway. Church.  He doesn’t tip.  He doesn’t really like anything green – ‘fried everything’ is his menu mantra.

Some of those once ‘endearing’ qualities– he who was so fascinating on every level- now wear a little thin. But you hang in and you hang on. Eventually, you find out he’s thinking about dating two other women. At once.  Hold on!

The Epitome: When something  causes you to lose your footing and you crash – perhaps he reveals his disdain for sex and you almost fall off the floor.  Yes, he’s decided sex hurts his back and his lumbago.

What’s a girl to do? You climb down off the so-called bucking bronco,  walk over to him, extend your hand, give him his walking papers and wish him well in his Winnebago and his lumbago.

Your new mantra:

“Next! The Best is Yet to Come.” photo_1396_20060405

Secret

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Kiss me, I’m Irish: A San Francisco tradition

image0Kiss me, I’m Irish – if just for today…

March 17th: The famous Irish bars on Geary Boulevard and Clement Street promise to the packed, SRO, loud and festive. However, the real mecca for Irish dancing, Irish beer and blarney is Molloys famous Irish pub in Colma.  Sure now, the wanna be Irish will weave in and out of the bars on Geary Boulevard. The real true green, hard-core, passionate, Irish will go the distance – travel south- and be throwing a few back at Molloy’s.

All over the City – Chinatown, Japantown and North Beach – there will be the wearin’ of green… Some green with envy – some green for a day. One day a year, everyone wants to be Irish.

Corned Beef on Wry

The Irish are famous for wit, storytelling, prose and poetry. Surely you’ve heard about the pivotal bestseller entitled How the Irish Saved Civilization. Blarney? Surely, you jest.

The Irish authors who saved civilization

The mile long list of famous Irish authors is too long and too impressive for one to contemplate in a short while….Irish stars would fill a sky ~

Our heroes include James Joyce, Sam Beckett, Oscar Wilde, Roddy Doyle, Yeats, Shaw, Pat Conroy, O’Connor, and Billy Collins.

Wear green, have fun, take a cab, and remember, wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be with you.

Slainte.

“May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.”   Irish Blessing

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/06/prompt-time-after-time/

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First Date: Invoke the right to remain silent?

Beware the Dead End Dude

Suddenly Single in Marin

IMG_1208There you are, perched on a bar stool, dressed to impress, meeting Mike B.(56, spiritual-not-religious, sports fan and mystery lover) from Oakland, for the first time.

drinxYou met on OKCupid – his photos were okay, his comments were cute and quirky and he had a certain jene se quois.He said he was passionate about sports and cars. You exchanged four flirty emails before he said, “Let’s meet.” You suggested talking on the phone and he disappeared for a couple of days. He re-appeared and sent his phone number with a    “I dare you to call me.”

With more points in the “quirky” than cute column – you act on his dare and call him.

Strange Phone Calls are huge red flags

Mike answers the phone, mumbles ‘hello,’ asks how you are then asks for your address. You deftly side-step that one with a laugh, and and he asks…

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