Beware the common “Romance Scam”

David Pogue – genius and prolific writer – gives us this golden insight to online dating scams:

Beware the nefarious: Soulmate Scam

The FBI says that “confidence/romance fraud” was the second most-reported crime in 2017, after business email compromise crime. Say you’re on a typical  dating site, and you find The One: She is gorgeous, witty, and really into you. And!  This person really, really  wants to meet you — and she hints that your first date will be something you’ll never forget. You’re hooked, lined, and sinking…


Oh! One tiny thing: — your new love-of-your-life  needs a little money for a ticket to come see you. Puhleez….

Oh, one other ittle thing, darling  “Can you help out with his/her rent?”


drinxThe Big Night...your are over the moon with the new Love of your life. Will it be all you have been dreaming about? Uh, No!

The big night arrives: Your Dreamy Date  doesn’t show up! What? No! Why?  Because “they”  not a real person. Think: Fake Photo, Fake News, Fake Email Account and gallons of lies – mis-truths and a Scam 101.

First, the stunning photo is  a stock photo ( See Pixabay for free fake photos)

Second, the Con Artist (from Russia or Nigeria) has been playing you like a piano….

What to do? Hang up. Delete. Forget about it – but first: Report the person to the dating site.  Then See:Internet Scams we Fall for 

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Scams: Online Dating Nightmares


(SAMPLE Scam)  $100 to the first 10 people to send in the First  Ten Verses of “Do the Hustle.”

by Stan the Scam and the Fair-ohs?

Binkie, Is there a Romance Hoax in your past, or a good looking one waiting for you around the corner?

There are a million stories in the dated city. Some are all lightness and air and others are like the Clint Eastwood movie:   The Good the Bad and the Ugly. The ugly: the romance scams which are rampant at on line dating sites. Dubbed “The Nigerian Hustle”, these scams have been the subject of an MSNBC special and  they’ve been on both Oprah and Dr. Phil.

Just look on line and see the huge number of Dating Alert Websites have cropped up to warn and alert on line daters of the hustles and scams that are so prevalent.

A warning sign for the public

Both Janice in CT and Anne in Houston wrote similar stories to say, “It all started with a wink.” Both women were flattered by ‘a wink’ from a great looking guy in San Francisco.    His profile picture resembled Burt Lancaster, on the beach in the movie, From Here to Eternity.  Without much though,t they both returned ‘the wink’ and within hours received a response from ‘Cheney’.    Both women said the first clue something was amiss was the salutation, “Hello, Dearie!” Anne said she had never met a man who called anyone “Dearie.”

The letter instantly fell apart: it was a train wreck of broken English and a request to contact him at a address.

Fortunately, both women  knew immediately it was a scam. They had almost walked into an infamous Nigerian scam.    It starts with a wink – goes to a “contact me at another site” and “by the way, could you send me a few thousand dollars, dearie?”

Run, run, as fast as you can – get away from the Nigerian scam man.


Psst: “Do the Hustle” doesn’t have 10 verses…


“Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness”.

James Thurber


See Forbes Magazine Re Nigeria Scams

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Beware: Scams – are all over dating sites

Everyday there are floods of scammers – from Nigeria, Russia and Utah…working Online Dating Scams – Here is “a classic” Scam artist  at work: 

Hi Gorgeous,

How are you doing?Hope thanks for the message fine-Now whats next!… hmmn lets get to know more about each other, i like your profile. We share a lot in common and i think your not just interesting but amazingly gorgeous… and would like to know more about you…

i want you to know that distances does not mean anything to me bco i dont mind to relocate to meet that right woman of my life any where

all that matter to me the most is true love and to always be honest with each other

and i do believe those are the right key to a long and lasting relationship.

..and age is just a number to me as well..

i also want you to know that today is my last day on match bcos i am only here for 3 days trials

ok i will be happy if you email me direct to my private email address ok that way we can continue this conversation.

I quickly had to send you an email… i would appreciate if you can email me back on yahoo..

which is i look forward to hearing from you soon.


Thomas ( not his real name – not his real photo)  sends out letters like this all day long…hoping to snag one “innocent” who doesn’t know the ropes or the huge number of evil creeps out there.

A quick read of the letter – rife with copy and pasted cliches and lies screams SCAM.

Be careful out there.


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Put me in, coach – Tips from Dating coaches


It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…

A good friend, Matt, is new to the Dating Whirl. Divorced for over two years,  he is still in that quasi-reclusive stage.

Perhaps the way he was treated by wacky judges and aggressive lawyers took the joie de vivre and the starch out of him.

Friends encouraged him to get ‘Out There’ and date.  They regaled him with so many successful dating  stories and, yet, he was hesitant to go beyond a second date. No, I  didn’t say second base.

Serendipity happens

Matt recently attended a Medical Equipment Sales Conference at the downtown Hilton.  He said the hotel was teeming with conventioneers.   On the first day, he noticed dozens of women, and a handful of men, flocking to a particular ballroom near his meeting room.  He said there were a ton of pink balloons and multiple  giant vases with red roses at the entrance to the ballroom where all the women seemed to be heading.

Impulsively, he joined  a “swarm” of fast-talking, fast-moving women and entered the  huge room with them. He deftly removed his name tag and folded his suit jacket over his arm and sat down.

The attractive woman next to him started chatting him up, not realizing she was sitting next to the King of Small Talk.  In no time he realized the sign:  WRD/LCC was at a Western Region Dating / Life Coach Convention. His first impulse was to dash – a major impostor, he might be discovered. Then, our hero decided  sit back, relax and thought,  “What a deal!”

Matt is an interesting guy.  He has enjoyed great success in his career and is a total Mid- West – never met a stranger- kind of a guy.

His 10 year marriage evaporated when his wife ran away with the pool boy – actually, with the guy who owned the Tri-State Pool Installation mega-corporation.

So, Matt, listened and became the totally intrigued interloper. He tells of  being fascinated by what he learned from the panel of optimistic and opinionated Dating Coaches. Ho took notes. He also handed out his business card and met “people” (aka single women.) 


One morning – two hours – a crash course in dating and he was launched  into the dating stratosphere. He stayed for the morning presentations and was dazzled by the flood of information about on-line dating.
And, there were single, attractive women everywhere. Kismet.Treat

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The Date Watchers are single, over 50 and open to romance

Suddenly Single in Marin

Sweetsge570The cadre of divorced women hovering around 50, call themselves The Date Watchers.

They get together about once a week at the  Mill Valley Champagne Bakery and weigh in on dating.

Topics discussed include dating at 50+, dating debacles and fantasies as well as romance rites and wrongs. They discuss lofty subjects like how many calories in a sweet nothing?  Who pays on the second date? Is Ethics a game two people can play? They share flirting tips and success stories.

Required reading this month is Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You” a hard hitting, no nonsense book – some regard as their ‘bible’. Most of them like the movie, too.

They subscribe to the sage observations of Mother Teresa. And Mae West.

Mother Teresa said: If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we…

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Skirting the issue? No Ugly Christmas Sweaters?

The invitation arrived the day before the neighborhood Christmas Party –  A classic invitation: Who, What, When, Where, and 

What not to Wear!

The heavy, paper stock, embossed invite read:

No Ugly Christmas Sweaters Allowed

553-2 this trendy Sausalito Party.

Unfortunately, I have a wide and wild assortment of eclectic Christmas sweaters from Peter Max, Ralph Lauren, Chloe, Kenzo, Burberry, and Bobbie Brooks.

I am rather famous for my collection.

In deference to the I-nvite…and armed with a glue gun, a bushel of Christmas bows from Costco, a stash of beautiful Christmas ribbon from The Ribboniere on Sacramento Street in San Francisco, I created a stunning Christmas Skirt for the event.

To say all eyes were on me – and that I was the talk of the town would be scandalous…yet, very accurate.


Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller


<a href=””>Eye Spy</a>

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Mr Popular quits dating game – almost

Suddenly Single in Marin


Tony, of six parties a week, would glide into a room to a sea of handshakes and a cyclone of air kisses. If you looked up the word bon vivant in the dictionary, Tony’s picture would be there: a tall, dark, handsome party boy.

Divorced for a dozen years he was on the party circuit. Heck, he was the party circuit. Jealously, his friends dubbed him, ‘Scout.’ In jest, women called him Casanova. Yes, there is an ounce of truth in all jest. At one time in his life, Tony was famously flirting and hot to trot; now, the only thinghaute he was after was cuisine.

Give Up the Chase?

After years of the hunt – catch and release -and after one too many first (second and last) dates– he decided to throw in the towel. (Not only did he throw in the towel, but also he laundered…

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My dream: I was on The Dating Game

This gallery contains 6 photos.

Originally posted on Suddenly Single in Marin:
My Dating Game Nightmare I dreamed I was on The Dating Game and tall, dark, and handsome Jim Lange, was the host and I was “The Bachelorette.” I was wearing Hot Pants, tights,…

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Marin County vs San Francisco: a tale of two car washes

Worlds apart…

Suddenly Single in Marin

photo_28497_20131005San Francisco

The trash basket near the coffee-tea-water station was overflowing. What appeared to be a perfectly executed, neatly folded “To Do List” caught my eye.

The word “Errands” –written in the most exquisite Renaissance style –was followed by this list:

  • Drop-off donations – Casa de las Madres
  • Call list of restaurants for Food Runners: need new food/supply for shelter
  • Clean out DM’s closet – deliver all to St. Anthony on Mission Street
  • Church needs men’s socks and underwear-Sunday
  • Little Sisters of the Poor- volunteer on Tuesday afternoon
  • Attend Elder Abuse Workshop/Helen Karr- at Hotel Nikko Saturday 0800
  • Drs. Without Borders = donation= kickstart
  • See Nicholas Kristof article New York Times: girls + slavery
  • Check out Shebooks get on-board
  • Old towels and sheets sheets delivered to SPCA for puppies

Who was this generous, altruistic, person? Were there still saints roaming the planet? I kept that stunningly generous, errands list. I told…

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What does an online dating email scam look like? Here are two

Caution! Beware! Scammers are more prevalent and ruthless

Suddenly Single in Marin

Gator20081017Everyone talks about the hustles, the hustlers, the gold-diggers on the                Top Online Dating Sites.

How can you tell if you are being hit up by a scoundrel scammer? Here are two big-time, small mind, classic Online Dating Scammers

His opening email will look just like this:

Hello dear,
How are you doing ? Wow! You look very beautiful, i really like what am seeing in you as a woman… I would like to communicate with you, kindly text me, (650) 434-7—-. or you feel free to email me ( randyvincent @ /y/a/h/o/o/. com ) I think i am capable to offer your heart desires. I have heard about so i gave it a trial but i will be glad to use this opportunity to meet someone that i can build friendship with and probably go from there. Thank you and i will…

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