Looking for love – at 50+ ?

Suddenly Single in Marin

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 Do you need a map, a compass, or GPS just to find

the on-ramp to the Bliss Highway of Life?

Here are Five Easy Ways to get ‘Back in the Dating  Saddle’  and ride off into sunset.

1. Ride On. There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse. Ready to start dating, again? If you have images of a sweet pony ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2010 foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy. Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel Date World 2010.

2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from…

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The last Love Letter from him…

Suddenly Single in Marin

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He selected a beautiful, expensive card from Papyrus. It was addressed in his signature turquoise ink.

I noted he did not use a Forever Stamp.

Nor did he pen his return address on the back of the envelope, as he generally did.

The thick cream colored envelope housed an exquisite card with a single red rose on the front.

Inside, in his beautiful handwriting, he wrote

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

Oscar Levant

Fierce

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Moving to Marin? Caution: PGE can be a hassle

PGE…so many stories…so much frustration

Suddenly Single in Marin

A warning sign for the public

PGE used to be my friend…and yours.

Once upon a time, not that long ago, when you moved to a new address
You called the one and only phone company to start service
and, then you called PGE to turn on the gas and electric.

The phone call went something like this:

PGE: Good day, PGE, may I help you?
YOU: Yes, please. I am Mary Smith and we are moving to 123 First Avenue, Apartment A, on Monday; please turn on the gas and electric on Monday morning.
PGE: We would be happy to. Consider it done. Thank you for calling.
YOU: Thank you.

Flash forward – and, the times they are a changin

Friends called PGE Marin… And thereafter, spoke to four (4, iv, cuatro) different people to opt in or opt out of something called Marin Clean AIR– or not. or is it Marin Clean Err?

Note to the…

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Spooky – 1st dates & trick or treating – boo?


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Have you noticed: your first date and

trick-or- treating 

are hauntingly similar?

Both require identical preparations and it’s all about: wear and where.

Wear?

Dressing – or selecting a costume- for Trick or Treating on Halloween and for that all-important first date requires an inordinate amount of time. You want to look good and make a statement. You forage through closets and drawers to select the right thing to wear. Women often aim for hauntingly beautiful or the girl-next-door costume. Good advice for guys is to appear like more like a superhero, less like a monster.

Where?

Deciding where to go ‘Trick or Treating’ or for a first date requires that you carefully plan and plot. Both parties agree to meeting in a safe, well lighted neighborhood. You naturally avoid ‘Dark and Spooky,’ at all costs. You then agree upon the perfect Witching Hour. Your spirits are up, and it’s time!

The scariest thing that can happen? You don’t look like your picture. One of you is spooky, kooky or creepy.  Your costume is all wrong.

At the end of the night, you want to think, “Sweet!”

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You don’t want to walk away thinking, “What a witch,” or “What a monster,” and return home empty handed.

Remember: A few kisses are good. You want to avoid sours, Nerds, Screaming Yellow Zonkers, Snickers, jawbreakers and gobstoppers.

Relax, enjoy one another and skip the trick, have fun and go straight for the ‘treats’.

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San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. .

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Sexy seniors bed hopping bunnies?

bed bedroom comfort contemporary

 
Like Bunnies: The Bed-hopping at the Senior Residence Center?

At first, it was ‘The Secret Scandal’ at the very upscale retirement community in San Francisco. It seemed there were two or three widows – who missed male companionship – and flirted frequently and aggressively with many of the married men.

Well, the brazen babes flirty passes and pick-ups incensed the wives of these easy octogenarians. There were ensuing meetings, with tears and new rules about waltzing round in filmy peignoirs. Unannounced nocturnal visits were severely frowned upon. And, so it goes.

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New Hot Spot or Seniors

There’s a particularly, hot, new Senior Community for Elders (Note: the term Old Age Home went out with tie-dye and patchouli oil.)

Some say the New Place already has a flamboyant reputation and the waitlist to get in is as long as the line at The Buckeye Bar on a Friday night.

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Looking at Flirting at 80: Is it bold, randy, and rule-free?

 How Older Men Flirt

 – Older, single, men tend to drive flashy cars: These cars – scream “Look at me! I’m havin’ a midlife crisis! Look at me. Please!”

– Daddy Big Bucks plays Show and Tell: Some of these guys think flashing a wad of cash is sexy and a magnet.

– He brags about his successful kids:  Mind you, he might not be speaking to his children. He may not even understand what their career path involves (what exactly is IT?) And, yet he brags. A successful kid is a status symbol.

– He peppers his sentences with phrases like, “My former wife” and “When I was married…” In no uncertain terms would he allow anyone to think he was currently married.

– Living in the Past: He talks about the “Good old days” and his past successes, the trips he took, the fabulous restaurants he went to, the cars he drove, how he used to party like it was 1999…

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Good old Boys

How Older Women Flirt

Va, Va, Voom! Some sexy grandmothers subscribe to a more devil-may-care Mae West School of Flirting

 – Push Ups: Take on a new meaning; she shows a lot more cleavage.

 – Let me squeeze you in: She wears tight clothing -which is shorter and more revealing; she shops at H+M, and in the Teen section at Macy’s- if she can.

“I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.” Mae West

– Hello, Sailor: She’s been known to buy drinks for the “Young man (50) at the end of the bar.”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West

– Happy Hour starts at 12n Or “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.” Some old dolls sit at the bar, over tip the bartender and scan the room like a semaphore – looking for love. They are open, friendly and will talk to anyone.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” Mae West

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Whether you are 20, 40, 60, or 80…Can you spell STD’s?

Get checked and make certain your new best friend has been tested. too.

Where, Pray Tell?  Marin Health

SEE here https://www.marinhhs.org/sexually-transmitted-disease-std-servicesorganizer-791939__180

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Cougars and Grandpaws on the prowl?

There are two kinds of people…

There are those who age gracefully with imagescoupanache and elegance… and others who go kicking and screaming grabbing for another vial of Botox or a little blue pill.

They do not go gentle into the night…or day.

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Dylan Thomas

I went to a double feature last night. I joined  friends at a well-known, colorful, bar called the Golden Drachma. It’s nickname is “the Drama.” I was forewarned we might encounter a rougher element: bikers, guys covered in tattoos, and hard-core boozers. We were amused  to find mostly typical run-of-the-Mill Valley bar hoppers.

Ladies and Gentlemen… oh – sorry -wrong crowd

Over in the right corner of the  bar, an inebriated, real-life cougar (60 plus year old woman) struck up a conversation, mainly using body language, with a 20-something kid with a baseball cap askew. She draped herself over the man-boy, massaging his legs while he watched. Mrs Robinson was on a mission and the lad was up for the event.  Real drama at the Drama…The floor show garnered much attention.

And in the second corner: an aging, overweight, Don Juan:  gold Rolex flashing, multiple gold chains, clad in a Tommy Bahamas shirt –  a Tony Soprano look-alike.  At first blush, it appeared he was with his daughter. However, it became apparent she was his ‘date’…

My uncle, a fishing guide in Argentina,  taught me a lot about ‘catch and release’ and hooking a big one. This scene involved a lot of flounder.


Big Daddy( GrandPaw)  was pulling out $100 bills out of his shirt pocket and waving them before the young woman seated across from him. As she leaned in towards him  he smirked and pulled the money closer to his chest. The ancient  waitress with the beehive hairdo kept busy delivering Cosmopolitans to the young lady. Liquid courage?

Do Beehive Barbie and bartender have any kind moral obligation regarding patrons?

Fortunately, I didn’t get to see how the both games played out as my friends and I had tickets to see a replay of the vintage movie, “Some Like it Hot.”

Would we ever venture back to “the Drama?” Doubt it…

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Skip the light fantastic: nightmare first date?

Merry has a dozen Nightmare First Date Stories. Her friends “live” for her dating debacle tales. Not only is she funny, Merry is their canary – dropping down into the dating depths – checking for life and oxygen and avoiding poseurs and playboy/deadbeats.

A few friends say Merry is brave to dip in the Dating Pool at age 50.

Others think she is mildly crazy for meeting a veritable parade of men every month.

Last week, she met Dancing Fred online. He bragged about his dancing prowess and his modicum of fame – he appeared on TV – and he a had a large fan club.

Merry loves to dance and was intrigued. Finally, a man who could dance, liked to dance and was single. She bit – hook line and sinker.

After a flirty phone call, attracted to his strong, silent type, persona, she agreed to meet him Saturday night at a dance club downtown San Francisco.

She carefully picked out an ensemble: a perfect dance skirt, a flattering first date blouse (alluring – but, not too sexy) and her worn and comfortable Jimmy Choo shoes. She arrived at the SOMA  address – a huge brick building –a long line snaked around the building. She assumed there was another event at the site – many people were dressed in bizarre and crazy costumes.

Entertained and Confused by the swarms of lively people

She texted Dancing Fred, and, voila, he appeared at her elbow. He was shorter than she expected; what got her attention was his outfit: green plaid pants, a puffy, orange pirate shirt, several colorful strands of Mardi Gras necklaces and Day-Glo pink Converse hi-tops. He wore a black top hat. Strange.

He asked her if she had heard of the KOFY Dance Party  No, she had not. He led her to the front of the line of the people dressed for Halloween – a dozen people greeted and were high-fiving Fred.

The natives were getting restless and chanting, “Open the doors!”

In no time, the doors open and the masses flooded into a huge space – disco music blaring and everyone started dancing, bright lights flashing. It was a real TV studio. There were real TV cameras trained on all the dancers.

Merry didn’t want to be on TV – nor was she comfortable by the unusual people gyrating and bumping around her. Dancing Fred didn’t really need a partner; he was doing the Frug, the Twist, and the Jerk like nobody’s business. It was freaky.                             Many dancer’s costumes were kooky and outré. Within minutes, Merry was looking for an exit.

Fred was doing the Bug-a-loo with a man in a pink wig  dressed in a poodle skirt and a bikini top.

Hat is a deal breaker

KOFY TV

She escaped crazy town – texted Fred a quick excuse and disappeared. Bam! Been there- done that!

Her friends laughed at the funny story. They thought it was hysterical. Merry, on the other hand, decided to be a lot more circumspect before she jumped into a first date in the future.

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The Manly Men over moon with Dating Rules?


You’ve seen all the “Rule Books” on dating, mating, flirting, and living. Interesting, most are written by women.

Finally, a  guy called  ANON, has taken the time to create a

List of Rules From the Manly Man Point of View’.

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The original manuscript, written on a piece of binder paper and had no real scholarly pretensions. Through time, numerous readers felt compelled to enhance and embellish the edicts. What you see before you is a compendium of clever manly dictates.

Note: Because these are the Manly Men Rules they are all numbered ‘#1 ‘ for a purpose ~ each is equally as important.

1.ESPN not ESP: Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it out, sweetheart.

1. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance: They’re like the full moon, the stars and the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and just hand us the remote control.

1. Don’t Mall Me: Shopping is not a sport: No amount of cajoling, kidding, or kissing is going to make us think of it that way.

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1. Ask for what you want: Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive– it is obvious your soft, whimsical and cute little hints are not effective. Do us both a favor, and clearly state what you want.

1. Your Final Answer? ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are very succinct. Especially during TV commercials.

1. Come to us with a problem: only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting endlessly are what your wonderful girlfriends are for. Use them.

1. Memories: Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after seven days.

1. Weighty Issues: If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first, check a mirror, then come to us…and, never on a Sunday.

1. Lost in Translation: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done: Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. If you want company and camaraderie – ask us. After you’ve called your girl friends.

1. Commercial Value: whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

1.Timing and Following our Bliss:  Christopher Columbus didn’t need or ask for directions and pride prevents us from breaking the mold. Work with us—that’s why God invented maps and GPS.

Moon

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A loud-talker: First and last date?


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My first and last date with a loud talker

 We exchanged e-mails for a few days before we spoke on the phone.

He was entertaining – seemingly, we had a lot in common and good rapport. He (Dave, 55, Walnut Creek resident, entrepreneur, consultant) suggested we meet halfway between our two homes at the “1968 Exhibit” at the Oakland Museum.

We met at the museum entrance and each bought our own ticket.

We agreed to first view The Day of the Dead Altars. As we entered the hallowed space with muted light and a number of beautiful, sentimental art altars- celebrating fallen heroes, friends and every day saints.

It became quickly apparent that Dave was a loud talker-straight out of that Seinfeld episode.

While others lowered their voices out of respect for the deceased, he commented on the art, the intricate details, the use of color and special effects. Lovely. I softly touched his arm, and spoke in hushed tones, thinking surely he would bring it down a decimal. He did, until his phone rang. He took the call in the museum and I walked away. He followed me like a puppy, oblivious. Fortunately, the security guard showed him the door. I could hear them in the lobby talking. Everyone could.

I wondered if it was too early in the relationship the start ‘nudging’ him.

We entered the “1968 Exhibit” and the first hall was filled with people quietly reading the timeline of that cataclysmic year in history.

As we moved slowly through the room, he peppered me with questions about where I was in 1968. I whispered short answers. I put my finger to my lips and nodded to the quiet-as-a-church-mouse crowd around us. He looked puzzled and launched into, “So, I was just a kid… blah, blah, blah.”

 Ya-ta-ya-ta-ya-ta: Seinfield Episode?

As we continued moving through various rooms, each more interesting, filled with historical kitsch, and 1960’s iconic pieces -people chatted and commented freely. Dave pole-vaulted into conversations- private or not – for the next hour. I swam away from him as often as possible.

The Real Deal breaker?

The poignant Martin Luther King tribute -a video of his last minutes and Bobby Kennedy’s eulogy at King’s funeral had the crowd huddled in front of a TV screen-silently weeping. Boring Dave broke the silence with a quote about sorrow and single soldiers – several people turned and glared at Mr. Mouth.

Then, he suggested we walk to the new Cathedral near the lake. All I could think of was: bull in a China shop-talker. I politely begged off, looking at my watch and creating an exit strategy – when an elderly couple came up and said quietly, “Sir, this is a museum, not a party. People speak softly out of respect for other patrons”.

Dave said, “What a buzz kill. Madam, this is a free country.” Alrighty then.

Oh! Look at the time!

My car was on the first level of the parking garage and I could leave and be home in less than 30 minutes. I said, ‘Goodbye, nice day, must run, Dave. And good luck.”             I didn’t look back. I was in my car, in total silence and home safe.

Lesson Learned: What will I do differently next time? I’ll talk on the phone to a prospective date – I will listen – I will ask questions and pay attention.

 

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They lived happily ever after…finally

Colleen will tell you she had a ball her first three years being newly single – jumping head first into the online dating pool.

First, she met Johnny on Chemistry.com. She met Fred on JDate, Michael on Match and then Bert and Rick and Paul and Henry on other sites.

Her married friends were enthralled with her stories. She had “dates” three nights a week- her dance card was a very full- and her stories were very funny and entertaining.       Colleen says she had been so depressed for so long she forgot how to have fun.  Her big celebratory party after the divorce was “The Beginning” of a new a chapter and a new life.

After college, she was a waitress, then a flight attendant.  She transitioned into sales and became the director.  She met Mr. Right, married, and had kids. She had numerous part-time jobs and after years of “struggles” (code: for lousy marriage) she finally had the courage to divorce her husband.

Her best friend, Lilly, the clever copywriter, helped her with her online profiles. She took flattering pictures and got her up and running in online dating world all in one weekend.

By Monday morning, Colleens’ email box was full of winks and blinks from interested men. Lilly had warned her it would be a feeding frenzy in the beginning, as she would be considered “fresh meat.”

Colleen reveled in the attention she was getting. Her first year of being Suddenly Single was entertaining and exhilarating. Year Two slowed down – her standards were higher and she met “the nicest guy in the world.” They dated, exclusively, for three years before they started living together. A year later, they were married.

That was five years ago. All is well in their world.

There are happily after ever stories …

 

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