Online Dating: The Chiffon Facade?

Don’t pay attention to the man behind the curtain…


How many of us are hiding behind a few little white, embellished lies on our dating profiles?

Do some say they are a few pounds lighter?A few inches taller?  A few years younger?

You betcha! All day – every day.

And, yes, Virginia there are scads of fine upstanding singles who are 100% honest.

Bravo all!

May we all find our Soul Mates.





Posted in Dating Coach in Marin, Marin County, single in Marin | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Marin County vs San Francisco: a tale of two car washes

photo_28497_20131005San Francisco

The trash basket near the coffee-tea-water station was overflowing. What appeared to be a perfectly executed, neatly folded “To Do List” caught my eye.

The word “Errands” –written in the most exquisite Renaissance style –was followed by this list:

  • Drop-off donations – Casa de las Madres
  • Call list of restaurants for Food Runners: need new food/supply for shelter
  • Clean out DM’s closet – deliver all to St. Anthony on Mission Street
  • Church needs men’s socks and underwear-Sunday
  • Little Sisters of the Poor- volunteer on Tuesday afternoon
  • Attend Elder Abuse Workshop/Helen Karr- at Hotel Nikko Saturday 0800
  • Drs. Without Borders = donation= kickstart
  • See Nicholas Kristof article New York Times: girls + slavery
  • Check out Shebooks get on-board
  • Old towels and sheets sheets delivered to SPCA for puppies

Who was this generous, altruistic, person? Were there still saints roaming the planet? I kept that stunningly generous, errands list. I told my friends and showed others- impressed and sobered by the generosity and kindness of this person.



Another world – another day

 Last week, a dear Marin County friend – in the midst of a tough round of chemo, asked me to take her to an appointment. Rather than wait, she asked if would I get a super-duper car wash at her Mill Valley spot? Of course.

I found myself settling into a small room for the 30-minute wait; I glanced at what they  now call The San Francisco Chronicle – both pages – I jest, not much.

My eye was drawn, once again, to an overflowing trashcan. Newspapers were stuffed in, papers balled up, a few envelopes torn in half, however, one pink, floral sheet of paper caught my eye.

Nonchalantly, I leaned over to pretend to tie my shoes (darn, I was wearing clogs) and skillfully lifted the piece of paper out of the canister. Who can resist a “To do list” with hearts and flowers doodled in hot pink ink?  Really, I’m not one to scan and scoop. However, a quick look and you just knew a Tiffany or Crystalle had tendered the list…

The list read – verbatim:

  • Get champain (Get French only)
  • Pick up Obaggi, Latisse, and cream at spa:   charge!
  • Cancel personal trainer-icky!!!
  • Get massage-ask Nikki
  • People Magazine-Brad and Angie-oh nooooo
  • Get wax-not in Sausalito ever again
  •  Take wriding lessons?
  • Need closets organized-color coded
  • Rent storage space (ask Vikki) for shoes and hand bags
  • New glasses for “smart look” look- Mill Valley Googles
  • Tanning salon: bikini?
  • Google- may Angelu
  • Get car wash / vackuum

 The rest of the page was filled with doodles… flowers, hearts, and scribbles. You can’t make this stuff up.

When I told my book club about ‘The tale of two car washes’ aka my rendition of ‘dumpster diving,’ they laughed.  And then, they paused and said they all knew which person they wanted to friends with…not the one with “champain and googles.”


All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

T. E. Lawrence

Posted in Dating in Marin, Marin County, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, San Francisco, single in Marin, Wordpress Reader | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Mean Girls Are Forever. And Ever.

dukes_up__Kristy, Casey, Maralyn, and Toni were the first Mean Girls I met in college.

The four travelled in a pack. They were loud, outgoing and popular with the guys. Looking back, they were “Party girls” who knew and dated a whole lot of guys on campus.

My Junior year, I elected to study for a quarter in Mexico City. My friend, Susie, joined me.

There was a huge Going Away party for us. A dozen friends saw us off at SFO with signs, gifts, and balloons. Hours later, we arrived in Mexico City to start our foreign experience: our Mexican holiday.

The small campus was relatively new with tree-lined paths and grassy knolls and dancing fountains. We learned the pathetic cafeteria was best when it served tea, bread, jam and quesadillas. Bananas, apples and packaged cupcakes were our go to /safe foods.

On the second day of exploring campus and finding classrooms, Susie I ran into four other kids from “our school.” We had no idea there were other “Cardinals” in Mexico. I recognized two of the girls. We approached them to say hello and introduce ourselves.

The four were cool, bordering on rude, to our introduction. We walked away both commenting, “How rude!” A week later, another Cardinal, Johnny B, arrived and joined that group. However, he was very friendly to us. The Mean Girls were aloof and rarely said “hi” the entire quarter.PicMonkey Collage

Baffled and bored by their behavior, we didn’t engage. We might see them as we traveled through Oaxaca or San Miguel de Allende and wave hello, they would ignore us or nod.

The time in Mexico was magical-we had amazing classes, outstanding field trips, a bunch of new friends- many were Internationals – their parents were diplomats or heads of large corporations. We were invited to gorgeous homes -all of which had maids and cooks and chauffeurs! Thankfully, we enjoyed some of the best meals we had in Mexico.


After we returned to school– once in a while, I’d see the group. Johnny B was always fun and amusing. The Mexico Four were mildly nicer.

Once, I was invited to a birthday party for Kristy, the wild child (20) with a preference for vodka rocks and Marlboro cigarettes.

The party was in her dorm room. Her bulletin board was decorated with multiple black-and-white pictures of her hanging off of guys at parties. On her desk wall was a calendar- a quick glance, it looked like she was monitoring her Period. I’d never seen this info  displayed in public. 

I had a flood of friends, who – by definition, were smart, fun and kind. There was not a mean girl in my world, except for the Mexico Four.

photo_2787_20070814Flash forward, two decades and a friend was taking her son to kindergarten and ran into Toni, amongst the clutch of moms.

My friend said hello to Toni who snapped “Don’t you dare tell anyone we went to school together or that we are the same age!” and walked off.

Last Christmas, I was at a lovely party and ran into Casey. I reintroduced myself and said I didn’t think we’d seen each other since Mexico. She looked at me, maybe through me, and said, “Oh. Hi.” I smiled and wished her a good evening.


So if you’re wondering if a zebra can change it’s stripes or do mean girls change? Take it from me, Mean Girls are forever.

Unless something magical or tragical happens, mean girls, sadly, remain the same.


Prove me wrong


Posted in Dating in Marin, Marin County, Relationship, San Francisco, single in Marin, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

He had me on “Hello”

The Best Opening Line…

Suddenly Single in Marin


Trixie (55, researcher, Aires, hiker/biker) had been single for awhile. She’s one of the lucky ones. She’s met and dated a lot of  of interesting men. She made some good friends and has good stories (as opposed to nightmares)  about her Suddenly Single position in life. And then she met Sam. 

She writes:

He had a chocolate velvet voice. In addition, he was funny… very, very funny. If that were not enough, he was smart, sweet and attentive. He had me on “Hello.”

Any 50+  suddenly single woman,  worth her weight in sea salt caramel- who has been around the block- several times – and might have developed a thick skin and a semi -cynical outlook… Might think,“This is too good to be true! This guy is fabulous. Is there a catch?”

Trixie says she erased all fear from her heart and stepped out of the caftan of cynicism and…

View original post 56 more words

Posted in single in Marin | Leave a comment

Dating: Too tired to give a whoop?


The Date Watchers lamented: at university,  they had tutors for Chemistry, Science and Latin – but none for relationships-dating-wooing-and wowing.

Next: At one point in time, they all ended up married.  And now, they were not.

Timing  In the “olden days” (married with kids)  they didn’t have time to juggle kids, career, jog, cook, clean, meditate  and do groceries. Ironically, they were dog tired and too to even walk the dog. The Mommy Marathon finally ended.

Flash forward, several years, and the girls were Suddenly Single or Dating or Thinking about Dating.

Helene, the elegant, Eileen Fisher model, loved to dance – to be in the arms of a man for an hour at a club, and then go home to the simplicity of her cat. C’est fini.

Marlene, perpetually 39, loved the dating swirl on MatcheHarmony-Seniors Single. She tried each of the dating sites and met some interesting men…no keepers – just hiking buddies and coffee dates. She was happy with the status quo.

Bitsy tried the nefarious Sonoma Matchmaker and for “$3000.00  for three months” was “placed” with  three ( 3, tres, iii) men who she had nothing in common. She has made it her mission to warn other Singles.

The women didn’t waste time talking about polynomial with scale variance laws or Ludlum novels vs Shakespeare’s plays – but, they could talk. And they do…continually.

Stay tuned for: Trouble In Dating Paradise









Posted in Marin County, Relationship, Wordpress Reader | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Date Watchers Looking for Love?

Catal11-1170x780The Date Watchers were watching Chuck M

In 2014, you could see Chuck M on, OKCupid, and Craigslist. He was a player. This guy was actively playing the field – many fields, actually. Good for him – online dating is really a very big Numbers Game.

Two of the Single-Again girls in “Date Watchers” decided to follow his lead.  He was a  peripatetic poster on Craigslist – he would write a clever “Man looking for Women 50/60” ad about every two weeks.

The guy really intrigued Allison and Linda. Two months earlier, Linda noticed him on Match. She sent him a flirty note and he didn’t respond

Now, some women would say, “That’s rude!” And move on. However, Linda didn’t flinch – she is open minded and open to new experiences

Randomly, a couple of weeks later, she saw his picture on OKCupid– and a quick look at Craigslist- there he was again. Voila!

FACT: Craigslist is much more anonymous than any other site- so Linda responded to his witty Craig’s ad with a provocative response.


She flattered him by saying he must be absolutely deluged with responses to his post.   She added that she thought he was ‘quite smart’ and commented that she thought the dating scene was ‘fun and intoxicating and sometimes fleeting- like the bubbles and a glass of champagne.’

He responded – quickly – and said, “When it comes to the dating scene, I look for lively fun, entertaining and intoxicating, too.” He went on to say, “I detect an air of sophistication, mystery and charm in you from a more classic era.   And, may I add, a sense of provocativeness not commonly found in these contemporary times. I say you are arousing my curiosity.”

Okay, so the guy could write.

The Date Watchers went back to to peek at his profile. By all indications, he had been on Match for many years. He was very discreet and mysterious with regard to career and any aspects of his life.

And, then they grew bored.

Then, in a pique of boredom, the girls ‘Googled’ Chuck and found that he’d written a best-selling book, had moved to Napa, was now married and working on a second book.

After some very heavy lifting and research they hit pay dirt. And what was he writing about?   Chuck – with a nom de plume- (Boom Boom Labagh?) writes Erotica.

The girls might invite him to be their guest-speaker at their October meeting at Sausalito’s Restaurant Poggio. Stay tuned.






Posted in Marin County, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, single in Marin, Wordpress Reader | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The last Love Letter from him…

glasss photo

He selected a beautiful, expensive card from Papyrus. It was addressed in his signature turquoise ink.

I noted he did not use a Forever Stamp.

Nor did he pen his return address on the back of the envelope, as he generally did.

The thick cream colored envelope housed an exquisite card with a single red rose on the front.

Inside, in his beautiful handwriting, he wrote

“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”

Oscar Levant


Posted in Dating at 50, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Date Night: Tonight – Pence-ive

San Francisco Giants
71-59, 2nd in National League West
Date Night Tonight:  7:15 PM on
AT&T Park

Arizona Diamondbacks     @   San Francisco  Giants


Posted in single in Marin | Leave a comment

Dating 101: Great Insight by George Carlin


“Just cause you got the monkey off your back

doesn’t mean the circus has left town.”

George Carlin



Posted in Dating Coach in Marin, Dating Diva advice, Page Larkin Marin, Relationship, single in Marin | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

So, flirt already! Four love stories – take flirting notes

Going Phishing -with Ben and Jerry and Four Love Stories

Suddenly Single in Marin

Romance happens: four happily ever after tales

Four Love stories – all based on a simple smile and hello.

One Saturday morning, Tom  was walking on the beach at Santa Cruz when he thought he heard Hawaiian music. He noticed a huge throng of people standing in a circle playing ukuleles.

Intrigued, he stood among the spectators and observed 50+ happy people playingukuleles. There were a few mandolins, guitars, and a wild guy in his 70’s on the bongos. They were the “Sons of the Beach.”

The leader was a vivacious woman tapping a tambourine, encouraging everyone to sing “Tiny Bubbles.” The fun was infectious. Tom watched, smiled and sang along.  He noticed a woman across the circle who looked very familiar. His brain did a Rolodex-shuffle trying to force her name or where they met. Nothing. She returned a knowing smile and a nod.

As the…

View original post 498 more words

Posted in single in Marin | Leave a comment