Dating 101: Don’t be a show off

photo_17326_20100325Here are two tried and true successful Dating Profile Tips

Rule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple, sweetheart

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first Match.com dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t Tell All. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute are far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. Sure, you’re very proud of your cool car, hot career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later.

Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, Eharm, and OKCupid and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly and quickly.

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#2. Remember: quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.

Binkie, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for that sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture. And that 20o7 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a huge feather fan may garner the wrong kind of attention.

Sure, you have an urge to brag about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, promotions and clubs? Hold off on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Please don’t post photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it. We don’t care. Yet.

It’s all about you

Check out the competition. Explore the dating website and look at what other people your age are writing… some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works. (Note: Take the time to write a thoughtful, succinct profile.)

photo_4426_20071211cherries-2And, bravo for you! Have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool. Have the time of your life.

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Her dating mantra: The best is yet to come

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Dating 101

Jane met Dick online and happily dated for a few months before she saw small, and imperceivable, tiny red flags.

There were flashes of anger, snips, and mean quips and sulking. She rationalized these episodes with the classic denials “Oh, he’s tired” and “Oh, he’s stressed” excuses.

In love with being in love

Flash-forward, Jane realized she was in love with being in love. She wanted to be in love and in a relationship. In a fit of romantic pique, she agreed to move in with him. In less than two months, she knew it was a mistake. A big mistake.

Living together- the daily life under a microscope -is a far cry from the fun and frolic of dating.

With a chorus of friends encouraging her to “Get the heck out,” Jane broke up with Dick and moved home.

One day at Whole Foods, Jane ran into a single man. Literally, her cart accidentally rammed his. She was a tsunami of apologies. He was entertained and mesmerized by her ardent efforts. In a dither, she gave him her card and a week later he called.

They spoke on the phone for an hour before he asked her out. They met on Clement Street and had coffee; they agreed to go for a walk to the Palace of Legion of Honor. They had a long lunch at Burma Superstar and they have been inseparable ever since. That was three years ago.

Jane tells all her single girl friends not give up.

Her mantra has always been “The best is yet to come.”

Take a page from her book.

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Quote Me

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A grandmother’s Tales of the City

san-francisco-733508_240My great-grandmother arrived from Ireland after the Gold Rush (1848) and in time for the great 1906 Earthquake.

A wee lass of a gal (according to her colorful legendary account) when the earthquake hit-in an Unsinkable Molly Brown wave of bravado- she stood atop a sea of hat boxes that fell from the closet, and rode them like a surfboard.

After the quake, the mere slip of a girl went from room to room  in the boarding house and rescued each of the elderly (in their 20’s and 30’s) borders.

In later years, her tale morphed into an account of her as a Search and Rescue Superstar. And as fate would have it, she was wearing a red jumper with a yellow star when the quake hit- a self-appointed superstar heroine.

The women in the boarding house adored my great-grandmother and lavished thanks and gifts upon her.

For many years, the girls reunited at Tadich Grill. One by one, the boarding house gals married and moved away and their reunions were less frequent.

In 1966, on the 60th anniversary the Quake, there was a large celebration. The Fairmont Hotel opened its door to celebrate in 1906 survivors. My great- grandmother organized a pre-party at the Mark Hopkins – our family attended-in full force-all of us wore red shirts with yellow super star emblazoned on the front.

Always the life of the party, with her indomitable Irish spirit and love of storytelling, she recounted the event of 1906 and peppered her presentation with her classic phrases: “Dang be nab it!” “Bless and save us!” “Jesus Mary Joseph!”   “And, wouldn’t ye know…” “Tra la la la.” 

All of this, having grown up hearing these phrases have, Tra la la, incorporated them into our daily conversations, dang be nab it!

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“Here’s to me, and here’s to you. And here’s to love and laughter. I’ll be true as long as you. And not one moment after.”

“There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were.”

Slainte!

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Morphing

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EHarmony- out of tune? Resolve in the New Year

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Betty hired me to escort her through the hallowed halls of  Eharmony.

She tried OKCupid and decided- you get what you pay for-in her case, it was zip.

People in the know, batten down the hatches and reach for smart cocktail before they submit to the infamous 337 questions and multiple essay  questions. We spent 90 minutes wading through the EH minefield of seemingly inane, yet loaded, questions.

(See Examiner:Eharmony slows as a  glacier)

I gave Betty the Top 10 Questions in advance and she could copy and paste her answers into the application.

  • We took four attractive photos to post.
  • She paid $40 for a month/ fee.
  • We crossed all the T’s dotted all of the “i”s and we were off to the races.
  • We pushed the “Send” button and sat back to wait for a trickle or a landslide of responses.

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Betty said she felt like a superhero she was resolved in the New Year to meet someone: a sweetheart, a Movie date, or a kindred soul  to “hang out with.”

She said in 2016 she vowed to be proactive and change her modus operandi and reach out and touch someone every day. She resolved to respond to all inquiries – no matter how silly –  in 2016.

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 Are you ready to Dive in to the Online Dating Pool? Contact me page.larkin@gmail.com

and we can set up an appointment and make 2016 the best year yet!

The Best is Yet to Come

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/resolved/”>Resolved</a&gt;
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Mr Popular quits dating game – almost

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Tony, of six parties a week, would glide into a room to a sea of handshakes and a cyclone of air kisses. If you looked up the word bon vivant in the dictionary, Tony’s picture would be there: a tall, dark, handsome party boy.

Divorced for a dozen years he was on the party circuit. Heck, he was the party circuit. Jealously, his friends dubbed him, ‘Scout.’ In jest, women called him Casanova. Yes, there is an ounce of truth in all jest. At one time in his life, Tony was famously flirting and hot to trot; now, the only thing haute he was after was cuisine.

Give Up the Chase?

After years of the hunt – catch and release -and after one too many first (second and last) dates– he decided to throw in the towel. (Not only did he throw in the towel, but also he laundered, folded, and put the towel away.)

Tony did something none of his friends had done before: he actually gave up the chase. He reconciled to be a bachelor – forever.

He was lucky to have a plethora of female friends. There were women he went to movies with, women he hiked with, and a couple other women he went with to shows and dinner. In the grand scheme, there wasn’t one single woman to whom he was attracted.

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Along Comes Peggy

And then Tony met met Peggy. They noticed one another in line at a weekday matinee. Both were going to see “Spotlight” There were only a handful people in the theater – and its the kind of movie you just have to talk about afterwards.

 

After the movie credits, they walked out together and started talking. They walked down the street to Peet’s and discussed the movie, world politics, other favorite movies, books and life – for two hours. Tony suggested they move their discussion few blocks away to Bungalow 44. And that was the beginning – a chance meeting – a year ago.kiss

After many a lousy experience on Match.com, Eharmony and Craigslist, Peggy had sworn off men. She had no intention of ever again playing the dating game. Then, when she least expected it, she met her date for life. It happens.

 

 

New Year Notes: Say Yes! Be open to new experiences. Talk to strangers- flirt early and flirt often. Smile, already.

 

<ahref=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/unpopular/”>Unpopular</a&gt;

 

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent offers a 3-hour Inspired Dating Workshop


“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

Saturday, January 30, 2016 10 AM to 1 PM

Cost: $85

Limit: Four to a Class

 

Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List (more information with Enrollment) an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire to get in the dating game to play and win.

 

Enroll at Page.Larkin@Gmail.com

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

 

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Happy New Year! Welcome Sweet 2016

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier.’
Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.
e. e. cummings

Celebrate the New Year with good cheer, good friends and good intentions for more fun, love, and grace.

Page Larkin

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Friends: the gift you give yourself

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“There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship.”
Thomas Aquinas

 

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Best Friends –

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
Henry Ford

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You gotta have friends….

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If you age with somebody, you go through so many roles – you’re lovers, friends, enemies, colleagues, strangers; you’re brother and sister. That’s what intimacy is, if you’re with your soulmate.
Cate Blanchett

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/photo-challenges/now/”>Now</a&gt;

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Take a breath before the merry mayhem begins

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Just as in earthly life lovers long for the moment when they are able to breathe forth their love for each other, to let their souls blend in a soft whisper, so the mystic longs for the moment when in prayer he can, as it were, creep into God.

 Kierkegaard

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Oh! Merry Mayhem? See this

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/exhale/”>Exhale</a&gt;
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Skip the Light Fantastic: Nightmare first date

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Merry has a dozen Nightmare First Date Stories. Her friends “live” for her dating debacle tales. Not only is she funny, Merry is their canary – dropping down into the dating depths – checking for life and oxygen and avoiding poseurs and playboy/deadbeats.

A few friends say Merry is brave and courageous to dip in the Dating Pool at age 50.

Others think she is mildly crazy for meeting a veritable parade of men every month.

Last week, she met Dancing Fred online. He bragged about his dancing prowess and his modicum of fame – he appeared on TV – and he a had a large fan club.

Merry loves to dance and was intrigued. Finally, a man who could dance, liked to dance and was single. She bit – hook line and sinker.

After a flirty phone call, attracted to his strong silent type persona, she agreed to meet him Saturday night at a dance club downtown.shoes-756616__180

She carefully picked out an ensemble: a perfect dance skirt, a flattering first date blouse (alluring – but, not too sexy) and her worn and comfortable Jimmy Choo shoes. She arrived at the SOMA  address – a huge brick building –a long line snaked around the building. She assumed there was another event at the site – many people were dressed in bizarre and crazy costumes.

Entertained and Confused by the swarms of lively people

She texted Dancing Fred, and, voila, he appeared at her elbow. He was shorter than she expected; what got her attention was his outfit: green plaid pants, a puffy, orange pirate shirt, several colorful strands of Mardi Gras necklaces and Day-Glo pink Converse hi-tops. He wore a black top hat. Strange.images-67

He asked her if she had heard of the KOFY Dance Party  No, she had not. He led her to the front of the line of the people dressed for Halloween – a dozen people greeted and were high-fiving Fred.

The natives were getting restless and chanting, “Open the doors!”

In no time, the doors open and the masses flooded into a huge space – disco music blaring and everyone started dancing, bright lights flashing. It was a real TV studio. There were TV cameras trained on all the dancers.

Merry didn’t want to be on TV – nor was she comfortable by the unusual people gyrating and bumping around her. Dancing Fred didn’t really need a partner; he was doing the Frug, the Twist, and the Jerk like no body’s business. It was freaky. Many dancer’s costumes were kooky and outré. Within minutes, Merry was looking for an exit. Fred was doing the Bug-a-loo with a man in a pink wig  dressed in a poodle skirt and a bikini top.

Hat is a deal breaker

KOFY TV

She escaped crazy town – texted Fred a quick excuse and disappeared.

Her friends laughed at the funny story. They thought it was hysterical. Merry, on the other hand, decided to be a lot more circumspect before she jumped into a first date in the future.

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<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/third-rate-romance/”>Third Rate Romance</a>

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December 2015 – The Best of Marin

santa-claus-1012097__180Best of Marin this week

Best New Market – Nugget Tiburon (the old Paradise) With great staff, better prices same quality meats, fish, wine, dairy

 Best Holiday Free Concert Las Gallinas Non Marching Band

Best Gift Store in Marin County: All Wrapped Up –Mill Valley

 Best Bookstore Book Passages- Best Staff: “The Karens”

 Best Halloween Place to See and be Seen: Dinner at Sweetwater – outside.

Best Small Movie Theater: CineArts at Sequoia- Throckmorton Ave Mill Valley

Best Garden/lighting/decor store: Illumigarden in Mill Valley near Sweetwater

Best Furniture /Consignment: Design Plus Consignment – San Rafael

Best Nail Salon: Nails by Kim in San Rafael

Best Mini Storage: Terra Linda Mini Storage– see Janet

Best Organic Ice Cream: Three Twins

Best Ice Cream: Talenti – Try Sea Salt Caramel

Best New/Makeover Drugstore (with a wine department): Rite Aid on Blithedale –it rocks!

Best Donuts: Johnny’s Donuts in San Rafael

Best Newspaper Column (written by a bartender): The IJ’s Jeff Burkhart: The Barfly

Best Brunch and Bicycle Parade viewing: Poggio Sausalito

 Got an Interest in Pinterest? See Here For My Best of Marin 

Skirt the Issue

 

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