Wondering if you’ve been dumped? Here are six signs

After the Love Has Gone: Are you feeling like Angie  or Maggie May?

If the current “Love of your life” has suddenly done a ‘Hasta la vista, baby’  and you’re in a stupor, wandering around humming Adele’s s “Someone Like You”  or wondering, “What happened?”  “Will he call? Shall I text – again? How many texts in one-hour is obsessive?” 

Stop, look, listen. There are six, easy to read, flashing-red flags and subtle little hints signifying you’ve been dumped.

 Top 6  Telltale Signs You’re Being Dumped:

1.)    They don’t pick up. All your cute, flirty, phone messages seem to fall on deaf ears.
2.)    They don’t respond to any text messages, phone calls, or e-mails.
3.)    Finally, when you do speak to them, it’s   “Oh, sorry. I’m going out with friends,” or “I’m busy,” or the most common lie of all, “I’ll call you later.”
4.)   They send you a text message that says, “I need some space, I know you understand.” Seething, you think ‘space’?  What are you- some kind of astronaut or just a coward?”

5.) You run into them and the temperature-once Hot-Hot-Hot drops to the “Ice Age,” replete with a cold shoulder, the proverbial air kiss and excuses like, “Oh, look at the time, gotta run.  I’ll call you.”

6.) They call and ask you to go for a “Walk.” Not a hike, not a picnic, not date or an event,  a  w-a-l-k. Not a leisurely Phoenix Lake walk – but a tiny Ernest Bloch Memorial Park stroll. Yellow lights should be flashing: Caution!  A walk means: “We need to talk,” which translates to: Hasta la vista, baby!


What Kind of Fool Am I?

What do you do when flashing red flags telegraph, loud and clear: it’s over?

Be careful: choices, so many choices. Pulling a Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction is not your best idea. Forget looking for the ‘bunny stew’ recipe online. Don’t even think about doing the creepy Play Misty for Me or acting like Charlize Theron’s sloppy, tawdry role in Young Adult  – another bad idea and worse movie.

Pick yourself up by your designer, black-leather boots, and start walking.
The fact that you Ex- love-of-your-life has acted so dastardly now-not five months from now- is a good thing.

Repeat after me, “Next!”  and “I Will Survive”


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Avoid bad hombres on Dating Sites

Lindsey (33, single again) signed up for  a new online dating site. After filling out a questionnaire -only  half as long as the infamous Eharmony– the company sent her this photo.

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What do you think? Does this man strike you as a loving, kind, carefree, attentive, fun guy?

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My advice was “run for the hills” and cancel your account pronto.

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Worst Online Dating Pic?

Date_one

A quick look on Match.com  and here are five examples of “What not to do” when selecting photographs for your online dating profile.

Can you tell what is wrong in each picture?

Harry Harley is “selling” his bike, first. Then he hides behind sunglasses, leathers and a scarf. Just post a headshot. That’s all.

18485640_10209047931737448_851898492215580411_n-2Captain Ken of Indiana got too clever and doctored up his photo with Fido. In addition, he posted his full name – which is never a good idea. Sure, you want to show off and indicate you have a best friend and a boat. Take it down a notch, Captain.

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Connor Call Me appears to be desperate. Call me? That is not the way  game is played – unless you want Nancy from Nigeria and Rhita from Russia to call you. Onlne Dating Scammers are on the look-out for trusting and ignorant shills who post too much information. Slow down, you should have qualms about sharing too much personal information on a dating site.

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Jim Whymore: Where to begin? Rule #1: Never, ever post a photo of yourself with a girlfriend.  Rule #2: Never hide behind sunglasses and a hat. Again, posting your name on your photo is not necessary.

17202805_1522995114388650_8287743401647704336_n-2I’m Fading: Finally, select a photo that is curent, flattering and not faded. Skip the white sweater and go for a bright color. Red is the best attention-getting color on photographs.

Good luck, out there!

SEE: HERE For More “I had to Laugh Online Dating Photos”

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Qualm

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The first six dates are easy…right?

Are men really like the bubbles in champagne? They disappear?

Peggy, resident Internet Dating Diva, said the men she dated were like bubbles in a glass of champagne. That sounded poetic until she revealed, after six dates most guys evaporated and disappeared. She admitted the ‘disappearing act’ sometimes  happened before the sixth date. 

“Bewitched, bothered and bewildered” aka  the “Dating at 50 Group”

 Eight, Suddenly Single, women from various parts of Marin – all about the same age (Perpetually 39) were invited to Peggy’s home and a convivial Focus Group was created.

The First Meeting/Party

 Keeping with a theme: Sex in the City for Girls Over 50, pretty pink Cosmopolitans were served. Fact: Give a single woman two Cosmos and you had better be ready to take notes.

There was a tsunami of thoughts and beliefs about being Single at 50 and  the fast and fleeting dating in 2017.   

Their Patron Saint, Mae West said, “I only have ‘Yes’ men around me. Who needs ‘No’ men?”

Let Them Eat Cake

Maury, 39 for a decade, another self-proclaimed dating expert said, “On line dating is like a buffet. Single people push their trays down the buffet line and randomly pick and choose each other.” She continued, “Initially, it’s totally intoxicating. Eventually, you learn what’s healthy for your body and mind. Sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad, boy”.                                                                        
The group ran with the obvious “Dessert and Desert” metaphors.

let_them_eat cake_7Peggy  concluded with an observation that Match.com, and other costly on-line cupids, perpetuate a ‘Candy Store Mentality.’ If at first you don’t meet Mr.or Ms Right-Now, wait another day and they will send you twenty-four, brand new, perfect matches. 

imageschampagenR.I.C.E. – the new staple in dating at 50?

Following the food-chain-of-thought, the women agreed upon the four most important qualities they were looking for  “You’ve got to have RICE! You know: Respect, Integrity, Chemistry, and Energy, that’s the ticket!”

After raucous agreement and applause, the women proposed a toast Dating, Spring and New Beginnings, and months filled with romance and R.I.C.E.

Spring is in the Air!

“There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.” Bette Davis


Pink

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Great Date Bait – Marin Open Studios this weekend

The merry month of May in Marin …. The perfect destination for great dates – be it a first date or a 50th…

Here are a few of my very favorite things:

1.Drive, bike, ferry, paddle-board over to Marin for the annual Marin Open Studios –  Seek out Mill Valley artist, Laura Roebuck – Studio 54A  located at  332 Miller Ave, Mill Valley. Look for the Red Door. 

Walking from studio to studio and ending up downtown MV for drinks or dinner is a perfect date. Or, pop over to The Buckeye in Sausalito or Pacific Catch in Corte Madera.

2. Check out  the The Mill Valley Public Library – Not your typical library- floor to ceiling windows- impressive library enshrouded in a beautiful Redwood forest

3. Sol Food – 3000 Yelp Reviews cant be wrong- Fabulous Latin American Food. Have a picnic. Located In San Rafael and Mill Valley.

4.The Frank Lloyd Wright building – San Rafael – Marin County Civic Center and site for the state- famous Sunday Farmers Market

5. Pacific Catch  restaurant Re-Open in Corte Madera – Awesome Fish House and Bar

6. Goodman’s Lumber- Weekend Warriors Unite – Go-to for building supplies, hardware, home decor goods, paint, garden tools & other DIY essentials

7. Poggio Restaurant – One of Marin’s Best: Serving  delicious & fresh Italian food, Downtown Sausalito. George is everyone’s favorite bartender.

 

In Mill Valley –  Check out Studio 54A-   Studio: Laura Roebuck

Look  for the Red Door and the balloons

332  Miller Avenue

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A grandmother’s Tales of the City

Sweet Memories of one hot, historical, Grandmother

Suddenly Single in Marin


My great-grandmother arrived from Ireland after the Gold Rush (1848) and in time for the great 1906 Earthquake.

A wee lass of a gal (according to her colorful legendary account) when the earthquake hit-in an Unsinkable Molly Brown wave of bravado- she stood atop a sea of hat boxes that fell from the closet, and rode them like a surfboard.

After the quake, the mere slip of a girl went from room to room  in the boarding house and rescued each of the elderly (in their 20’s and 30’s) borders.

In later years, her tale morphed into an account of her as a Search and Rescue Superstar. And as fate would have it, she was wearing a red jumper with a yellow star when the quake hit- a self-appointed superstar heroine.

The women in the boarding house adored my great-grandmother and lavished thanks and gifts upon her.

For many years…

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Shoot! Worst First Date


Sydney thought Jack was a charming, smart, sexy guy.

Their first date, the two hours flew by and they were both agreeable and anxious to see one another again.

He asked her what she liked to do – she said, “Surprise me.”

His cousin told him about a “cool shooting range” in Morgan Hill. It sounded like a fun, inexpensive, few-hour, Groupon Date – then they could go to Monterey for the rest of the day.

He half listened to his cousin as he scored the online coupon and spent more time making reservations at the Sardine Factory for an early dinner. Sydney mentioned a love for Key Lime Martinis and Jack knew they served them there. Perfect.

That Saturday, with downloaded directions, coupons in hand, he was pumped that he scored reservations at the busy restaurant. Perfect!

Sydney was excited to see Jack again – he told her he had a day of surprises planned. She was all in.

The arrived at the MonarchShooting/Defense Class – were very excited to see one another and floated into the class – expecting to be entertained and educated. As a rule, Groupon’s are generally tame.

Little did they know…

Their teacher was evidently suffering from some kind of inferiority complex -and went out his way to be rough, tough and macho. He was a “Rules Man” and all the rules were his- thank you, very much.

First on the Agenda was Introductions. Jack and Sydney exchanged smiles. Jack started and the teacher barked at Jack and corrected him. He was curt and abusive. Surely this was an act…Sydney went next – shared the particulars and Mr Bryan was even more perturbed with her. Really? What kind of loser was this guy?

The next ten people were individually verbally abused and embarrassed.

Jack saw how uncomfortable Sydney was and he was astounded by the punk attitude of the grandiose teacher. At the break, Jack said – “Let’s leave and go to Monterey and play.”

They practically skipped to the car – delighted to be free from Mr Monarch Defense. He was all Offensive – not Defensive.

The rest of the day was sublime. The couple enjoyed each other and were slowly falling in love. For the rest of their lives they would have the “Worst First Date Story.”

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The new Cougar comes in two models

I was sitting at Equator Coffee, engrossed in Liane Moriarty’s new book, Big Little Lies  sipping a mug of Panacea Green Tea.

Two women, dripping with shopping bags, came in and plopped down at the table behind me.  They were loud and lively.  I couldn’t help but overhear the conversation.

First voice: “Hey, look over there.”

Second voice: “What? Oh, right. Oh, yeah.”

First voice: “I call it the 60/30 Conundrum

Second voice: “What do you mean?”

First Voice: “What do you call guys around 60 who date girls around 30?

(Not missing a beat) “Grand Paws!”

(Laughter explodes)

 

~~~~~***~~~~~~

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Mr. Easter Bunny, bring me a sweetheart





Dear Easter Bunny,

Skip the chocolate drops, the Pink Peeps and the pastel jellybeans.

 This year, cancel the Marshmallow Eggs and the yummy bonbons from See’s, Godiva and TCHO.

 Bring me a man.

You get around. You know the score: 1.5 zillion single men and women in the United States are online- all hovering over their computer screens Match-ing, being Tinder, seeking Chemistry and Harmony. It is not all sweetness and light, Mr. Peter Cottontail.

couple-437987__180Mr. Rabbit, I need sugar.

No, not that white stuff and certainly not the high-fructose-corn-syrup stuff, either.  I want real sugar, sweetheart.

I asked Mr. Sandman to bring me a dream.

eggs-672460__180Didn’t happen.

I even asked Santa Claus (when it was a real Silent Night) to bring a bouquet of mistletoe and put Mr. McDreamy under my tree… And what did I get? Veritable coal in my Christmas stocking. Ouch!

eggs-669237__180Recently, I met one man, he was mad as a March hareLast week, I met another guy, a bike rider – actually – Harley-Davidson /Hells Angels caliber with a gleaming, chrome dome (no hare.)

All I want for Easter is …

So, Mr. Easter Bunny, skip the chocolates and bring me a sweetheart.

Love and kisses,

Miss Marry Marin

aka    Amazing Grace

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You are Amazing, Grace!

Thanks for sharing your your “love letter” to  Peter Cottontail. I bet those cute guys on Match.com will love it.

Love,  Page

 

 

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The Party is Over? Peggy Noonan says

“...When you give a party two unwon wars, one a true foreign-policy catastrophe, and a great recession, it will begin to break because its members lose confidence in its leaders.

When the top of the party believes in things that the bottom of the party doesn’t want (on immigration, entitlements and trade), things will break further.

The bottom will begin to feel the top no longer cares about it.

That will end their loyalty.

Mr. Trump’s Republican foes are wrong in thinking his followers are just sticking with the party.

They’re not, they’ve broken from the party.”

 

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