Seniors: Dating at 80- beware the “matchmakers”

Stop! Don’t use the Sonoma Matchmaker! $3000 for five deadend dates…

Suddenly Single in Marin

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By mistake, Betty Lou had hired a very expensive (all talk no action) “Match maker” in Sonoma.

They promised her the world. For a mere $6000 they would find her Prince Charming; the man of  her dreams. They claimed they had a large category of men her age group. All she had to do was sit back and wait.

And wait. And wait.

Well, those highfalutin promises were not exactly true.

In as many months, she had four dates. $6000? Four dates. You do the math.

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Betty Lou is a very proactive person and was quite disappointed by the lack of activity from the  so called Matchmaker. With the assistance of her daughter, the attorney (who was aghast at the astronomical price from the small town little faux matchmaker) she ceased  and desisted all relationships with the company in Sonoma.

She made a point to everybody she knew not to try this company. 

A warning sign for the public

 

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Dating 101: First Date? Keep your guard up? Oh, yeah.

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Don’t get your dating hopes up and let  your guard down.

After the usual volley of e-mails, followed by the requisite flirty phone calls, it’s time for the face-to-face first date. Usually, it is an uncomplicated, relaxed coffee date.

What does a smart dater bring along? Obviously, you bring optimism, an open mind and a healthy dose of caution.

What to Take on a First Date:

1. Identification
2. Cell phone
3. Money for a taxi
4. Your Keys
5. Phone number of ‘contact’ person

Get Smart
There are certain logical guidelines for an initial meeting. Always trust your intuition. You know when something is not right.

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Don’t bring valuables: It’s a coffee date – not show and tell. (Leave the jewelry and credit cards at home)

Strangers in the Night?  If you are feeling strangely uncomfortable with the person –not just nervous- excuse yourself. It happens. If you feel compelled to provide an explanation, say you have to make a phone call, have to move your car, or meet a friend or get to work.

The Great Escape  Men and women both need ‘An Escape Hatch’ in a truly uncomfortable situation. Let’s say you finally meet the ‘great date’ and you notice the ‘non-smoker’ reeks of smoke and has cigarettes peeking out of their pocket. Deal breaker?

Or the photo you saw online is of a brunette and the much older person sitting across the table has totally white hair. Evidently, the photograph supplied is well over 10 years old. Integrity issues? Deal breaker?

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Or within minutes, your date’s behavior is reprehensible. (You expected Martin Sheen  and Charlie showed up)

Trust your instinct. Rather than just saying,  ‘Get lost,’ the polite thing to do is: thank the person you’ve met, excuse yourself, leave money for your half of the bill, and walk away. Call your ‘contact person.’

Police suggest having a good clean escape plan: tell at least one person where you’re going- whom you are meeting, at what time. You might suggest that person call you after a pre determined time to check in on you. No, this is not silly.

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Page Larkin’s First Date Tips:

1.  Always meet in a public, well-lighted place. Never, ever, meet in your home.
2.  Let a friend know where you’re going; also provide the other person’s full name. No, you can’t be too careful.
3.  Have your  friend call you 15-minutes into the date. This can also be an ‘escape’ if the date if isn’t going well.

4.  Meeting for a glass of wine? One glass should be your limit. Be sober and smart.

5.  Always:  ‘Google’ the guy or gal. Check Facebook and Linkedn.

Note: Click here: Washington D.C.’s police department recommends the following tips.

That being said, get out there and explore your options. Have fun. Chances are: all is well – Just be careful out there.

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?”

Vincent van Gogh

A warning sign for the public

If you liked this column, take a look at: Top Ten ways to Ruin a First Date Single Payer Dates/Who Pays What? and First Date Questions Not to Ask

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Don’t miss a Single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page. San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: Page.Larkin@gmail.com Follow me on FacebookFifty

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The Manly Men over moon with Dating Rules?

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You’ve seen all the “Rule Books” on dating, mating, flirting, and living. Interesting, most are written by women.

Finally, a  guy called  ANON, has taken the time to create a ‘List of Rules From the Manly Man Point of View’.

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The original manuscript, written on a piece of binder paper and had no real scholarly pretensions. Through time, numerous readers felt compelled to enhance and embellish the edicts. What you see before you is a compendium of clever manly dictates.

Note: Because these are the Manly Men Rules they are all numbered ‘#1 ‘ for a purpose ~ each is equally as important.

1.ESPN not ESP Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it out, sweetheart.

1. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance. They’re like the full moon, the stars and the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and just hand us the remote control.

1. Don’t Mall Me: Shopping is not a sport. No amount of cajoling, kidding, or kissing is going to make us think of it that way.

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1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive– it is obvious your soft, whimsical and cute little hints are not effective. Do us both a favor, and clearly state what you want.

1. Your Final Answer? ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are succinct. Especially during TV commercials.

1. Come to us with a problem: only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting endlessly are what your wonderful girlfriends are for. Use them.WOMEN IN LITTLE BLACK DRESSES

1. Memories: Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after seven days.

1. Weighty Issues: If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first, check a mirror, then come to us…and, never on a Sunday.american-football-598418__180

1. Lost in Translation: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. If you want company and camaraderie – ask us. After you’ve called your girl friends.

1. Commercial Value: whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials.OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

1.Following our Bliss ~ Christopher Columbus didn’t need or ask for directions and pride prevents us from breaking the mold. Work with us—that’s why God invented maps and GPS.

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Speechless? Can’t think of what to say on a date?

Spelling Game tiles spell out Help Me

Feeling Tongue Tied and Shy?

First Dates

Let’s say, you haven’t been on a First Date – since college. Or 10 years ago… and you really want to ‘Break the ice’ get and a conversation started.

What do you say after “Hello?”

Psychology Today has “36 Questions” to ask to get the Dating Conversation ball rolling.

Here are my Top 20 Conversation Starters

The Top 20 Questions to Break the Ice

1. Tell me about your best friend.

2. Tell me about your very worst job.

3. What was your very first car?
4. What was your very best job?
5. Tell me about your family and where you grew up.

6. Tell me about your very favorite relative.

7. Tell me the Top Five places you’ve worked

8. Who is your all-time favorite female movie star?

9. What passions / hobbies do you spend money on?
10. What’s you very favorite song?
11. Tell me one really life-changing moment?
12, When did you meet your very first girlfriend/boyfriend?
13. Where and when was your first kiss and with whom?
14. What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
15. What is the worst prank you’ve pulled?
16. Tell me the most romantic date you’ve ever planned.
17. They say, “Women shop and men buy.” What one store you wouldn’t be caught dead in?
18. Alaska or Hawaii – what is your choice?
19. Tell me what your perfect Day-Off looks like?
20. If someone gave you two free tickets to anywhere in the world – where would you go?

Choose one, five or ten questions…Listen. Ask questions. (Rinse Lather Repeat)

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Bumble me, Babe

Buzz…Girls will Bumble around…when they are in charge….

Suddenly Single in Marin

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Bumble is the hot new mobile dating app made by women for women. Yay.

Thanks to Whitney Wolfe, a former co-founder of Tinder, is the very smart creator of the Dating App that gives the ladies the control.

How to Play: Sign up on Facebook. Choose your pix; do the Geography: determine the distance you are wiling to go – and determine your age group.

Girls just want – to be in charge. First, ladies view profiles and “like” by swiping right or who to “dislike” by swiping left. 

If there’s a mutual like, you’ll get a pop indicating it’s a match (BOOM!) You are linked – mutual attraction.

Next Choose: “Start a Chat” and voila! Or, you can Say, “More Bumble, sir” to see more matches.

Ladies have 24 hours to speak up or Buh-Bye and  The Match disappears.

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Tinder was slammed and slimed in the recent Vanity Fair…

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The many men of Marin

Can’t Live with them? Cant live without them?

The Date Watchers met at Equator Coffee in downtown Mill Valley to talk about their favorite subject: Single Men. (That’s what Single women do, from time to time) Their Conclusion? Simple:

Men come in all shapes, colors, sizes and interests, quirks, talents, proclivities…You take the best and leave the rest.

“Praise, like gold and diamonds, owes its value only to its scarcity.”

Samuel Johnson

The Date Watchers Motto:

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change.

Women marry men with the hope they will change.

Invariably they are both disappointed.”

 Albert Einstein

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Praise

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Google him, check Yelp, Facebook, Linkedn- first

Google the guy or gal? Oh, yeah!

Suddenly Single in Marin

i-like-youicon-greatThis week brings questions about honesty and too much information. Send your online dating questions topage.larkin@gmail.com


Dear Page Larkin,
I did it. I followed your directions and Googled the guy. Then I Yelped  him. Whoa! Then I deleted him.
Michael S. and I met on Ourtime.com,and I was impressed that he was an attorney. In his second e-mail he told me he was a “Trail Attorney,” so I figured he worked for the Sierra Club, right? After a few e-mails he divulged his full name and I instantly Googled him only to find out he didn’t have the best reputation. Even more curious, I Yelped him only to find a long list of people are very mad at him for a lack of ethics. Finally, I deleted him. Thanks for giving me this formula. It worked for me. Google the guy!
Marilyn in the Mill Valley

Dear…

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Too good to be true? Not my first rodeo

photo_26831_20130808Letters to Page Larkin: Binkie finds a man she thinks is “too Good to be true” – is she jaded, shallow or afraid?

Dear Page Larkin,

Help! I think I’ve met the man of my dreams- but there have been so many nightmares, I’m not sure.

I’ve been reading your column for years and trust your advice. I’ve met every kind of loser you have described in your column.

I’ve quit “online dating” six times in six years. On a lark, (and lonely) I signed up again. I saw all of the same old guys- who magically remained the same age from six years ago. I met a guy on Match.com- who has swept me off my feet. And, I’m not easily impressed.

Out of the blue, this guy reaches out – seems smart, polite, kind of funny. This is not my first rodeo- I’m not impressed by first impressions.

Turns out this guy is a “keeper.” The one thing that bothers me, Is that he’s really nice, really thoughtful, and really polite. Maybe he’s too good to be true. What do you think?

Binkie 101

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Dear Binkie 101,

First, get your head examined. Then hold onto this wonderful man for as long as you can. You have witnessed so many Dead Ends that you’ve lost your True blue Great Guy vision. Men of that caliber are a rare breed. Seize the Day and hold on tight.

Love, Page

 

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The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. Paul Valery

 

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Top 5 Worst Break Up Lines

Don’t even think about using these…

Suddenly Single in Marin

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Guys, a word to the wise:
Those corny, canned lines you come up with when you want to “Break Up” with a woman are schlock. That’s right, schlock. They’re disingenuous, false, and they are empty.

Don’t even try these on us

You know the scenario: after about six dates, a guy gets bored or totally afraid of any kind of commitment. Perhaps the woman isn’t “putting out” or he thinks a younger, blonder, hotter, woman would find him sexy and mature. He had heard, ‘Younger women dig older guys.” Cool. So, the guy decides to “Break up” using the oldest lies in the book.

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Don’t even think about telling a woman any of these five egregious lies:

  1. Babe, you’re just too good for me. I’m going to set you free.
  2. My old girlfriend called and she wants to get back together.
  3. I’m not feeling the magic anymore. We gave…

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Just how shallow?

Puppet4267Toy_Tool_174_o          Puppet, Pawn, Mouthpiece, Dupe, Stooge,Tool.

Pull the string and I’ll wink at you, I’m your puppet.

I’ll do funny things if you want me to, I’m your puppet.

I’ll be yours to have and to hold. Darling you’ve got full …

 

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“Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind” Doug Supernaw

Depth

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