Too Good to be True?

photo_26831_20130808Letters to Page Larkin: Binkie finds a man she thinks is “too Good to be true” – is she jaded, shallow or afraid?

Dear Page Larkin,

Help! I think I’ve met the man of my dreams- but there have been so many nightmares, I’m not sure.

I’ve been reading your column for years and trust your advice. I’ve met every kind of loser you have described in your column.

I’ve quit “online dating” six times in six years. On a lark, (and lonely) I signed up again. I saw all of the same old guys- who magically remained the same age from six years ago. I met a guy on Match.com- who has swept me off my feet. And, I’m not easily impressed.

Out of the blue, this guy reaches out – seems smart, polite, kind of funny. This is not my first rodeo- I’m not impressed by first impressions.

Turns out this guy is a “keeper.” The one thing that bothers me, Is that he’s really nice, really thoughtful, and really polite. Maybe he’s too good to be true. What do you think?

Binkie 101

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Dear Binkie 101,

First, get your head examined. Then hold onto this wonderful man for as long as you can. You have witnessed so many Dead Ends that you’ve lost your True blue Great Guy vision. Men of that caliber are a rare breed. Seize the Day and hold on tight.

Love, Page

 

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The folly of mistaking a paradox for a discovery, a metaphor for a proof, a torrent of verbiage for a spring of capital truths, and oneself for an oracle, is inborn in us. Paul Valery

 

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Top 5 Worst Break Up Lines

Don’t even think about using these…

Suddenly Single in Marin

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Guys, a word to the wise:
Those corny, canned lines you come up with when you want to “Break Up” with a woman are schlock. That’s right, schlock. They’re disingenuous, false, and they are empty.

Don’t even try these on us

You know the scenario: after about six dates, a guy gets bored or totally afraid of any kind of commitment. Perhaps the woman isn’t “putting out” or he thinks a younger, blonder, hotter, woman would find him sexy and mature. He had heard, ‘Younger women dig older guys.” Cool. So, the guy decides to “Break up” using the oldest lies in the book.

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Don’t even think about telling a woman any of these five egregious lies:

  1. Babe, you’re just too good for me. I’m going to set you free.
  2. My old girlfriend called and she wants to get back together.
  3. I’m not feeling the magic anymore. We gave…

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Just how shallow?

Puppet4267Toy_Tool_174_o          Puppet, Pawn, Mouthpiece, Dupe, Stooge,Tool.

Pull the string and I’ll wink at you, I’m your puppet.

I’ll do funny things if you want me to, I’m your puppet.

I’ll be yours to have and to hold. Darling you’ve got full …

 

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“Deep Thoughts from a Shallow Mind” Doug Supernaw

Depth

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Ms Perpetually 39 meets her man at Social Security

green2_hills_nSherry and Chuck met at the Social Security office.

It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.

As they both stood in a very long line, he said, ”You look much too young to be here.”

(Cue the angelic choir choir singing “Hallelujah!” trumpets, balloon release, and confetti drop)

She blinked and smiled at the handsome guy in the brown suede jacket, good jeans and royal blue striped shirt.

Like most suddenly single women, Sherry had developed a very astute “Single Man” radar. She could spot the glint of a wedding ring a block away. Score! No ring.

She was divorced, single again and libido liberated with a side order of “Let’s date again like we did 20 years ago” philosophy.

She liked turning 50; it was sexy in a Cosmopolitan magazine kind of way. Many of her friends, neighbors and family were much older than she -was she was considered the “babe.”

Then at 55 –someone said she was ”Double nickels.” She like that and promoted it as cute and sexy.

Later, “As the sands in the hourglass and the days for her life” continued she vowed never to be 60. She labeled herself “39” and that was it.

Here she was, really 62 in the Social Security line with the best looking, friendliest man she had seen in awhile was giving her a compliment.

She put on her best flirt and agreed to meet him for coffee after their respective appointments.

That was two years ago. They are “A couple- dedicated to one another.”

A true gentleman, he never asked her age.

They are another classic “Happily ever after couple.”

Yes Binkie. It happens.

Now go out there and smile at someone.

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Hunter Pence – the Only Pence

This gallery contains 5 photos.

Hunter Pence trumps all others… “The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.”      Zig Ziglar

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Liar, Liar, pants on fire?


sad-manMike, a brilliant mathematician,
found himself  suddenly single after 18 years of a rocky marriage. He is a man who could talk for days about Weierstrass factorization theorem and Pythagorean theorem, but failed miserably when it came to simple conversations with women.

Urged by a cadre of male friends, Mike decided to enter into the world of on line dating and to start having fun again.  Mike, the epitome of nerd, had been mildly popular in high school. He met and married Wendy in college and now, years later he was “free at last.”

A click of the mouse and voila- a new man!

Daunted by the EHarmony herculean task of completing dozens of pages of questions, Mike went straight to Match, signed up and paid his dues. Then he called his best friend, Steve, the clever copywriter from the ad agency downtown. The two friends met over a couple pitchers of beer and proceeded to create a highly embellished profile of Mike.
Dressing up the naked truth

At the end of the fiction writing expedition, Mike sounded like a cross between Brad Pitt and Warren Buffet and Jimmy Buffet; he had it all: looks, money and margaritas. With the magic of Photoshop, Mike was superimposed into a picture at the Taj Mahal,standing next to a Porsche and standing in front of a Rolls Royce at the Casino in Monte Carlo.colin

Sports were Mike’s bete noire. He spent free time doing algebraic symbolism, a little spelunking and bowling. Not a problem: Steve the wizard with words, knew all the chick magnet verbs and magically Mike had an interest cooking, hiking, biking, skiing, and camping.IMG_3082

Within no time, the two created their own manly-man version of Eliza Doolittle. Mike went from nerdy engineer to savvy bachelor. Throwing caution to the wind, they hit the Match.com ‘send’ button and Mike,the bon vivant was born. He was younger, taller, thinner, wealthier and up and running.   

Yee ha! Look out ladies: Mike the instant “ladies man” was born.

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Nightmare party invitation: ix-nay

Kids, don’t try this at home:

The Nightmare Party Invitation

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In an effort to appear fun and carefree, the flock of engineers a the Silicon Valley start-up  used PicMonkey to enhance their company photo for the Invitation to a  party – everyone  was aTwitter. 

 

Company Number Two- (also anonymous to protect the insouciant) got carried away and wanted to eschew the Dweeb association and decided to” jazz it up”! 

Group of Multiethnic Diverse Cheerful People

No.

 

Always a winner:

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Nightmare

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Sexy seniors – bed hopping bunnies?

Hot Seniors Excel at Bed Hopping Olympics

Suddenly Single in Marin

 photo_1396_20060405Like Bunnies: Bed-hopping at the Senior Residence Center

At first, it was ‘The Secret Scandal’ at the very upscale retirement community in San Francisco. It seemed there were two or three widows – who missed male companionship- and flirted frequently and aggressively with many of the married men.

Well, the brazen hussy’s passes and pick-ups incensed the wives of these easy octogenarians. There were ensuing meetings, with tears and new rules about waltzing round in filmy peignoirs. Unannounced nocturnal visits were severely frowned upon. And, so it goes.

 New Hot Spot or Seniors

There’s a particularly, hot, new senior community for Elders (the term: Old Age Home went out with tie-dye and patchouli oil.) Some say it already has a flamboyant reputation and the waitlist to get in is as long as the line at The Buckeye Bar on a Friday night.

Looking at Flirting at 80: Is it bold…

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Fake, faux, funny…

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But are not the dreams of poets and the tales of travellers notoriously false?

H. P. Lovecraft

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He had me on “Hello”

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Trixie (55, researcher, Aires, hiker/biker) had been single for awhile. She’s one of the lucky ones. She’s met and dated a lot of  of interesting men. She made some good friends and has good stories (as opposed to nightmares)  about her Suddenly Single position in life. And then she met Sam. 

She writes:

He had a chocolate velvet voice. In addition, he was funny… very, very funny. If that were not enough, he was smart, sweet and attentive. He had me on “Hello.”

Any 50+  suddenly single woman,  worth her weight in sea salt caramel- who has been around the block- several times – and might have developed a thick skin and a semi -cynical outlook… Might think,“This is too good to be true! This guy is fabulous. Is there a catch?”

Trixie says she erased all fear from her heart and stepped out of the caftan of cynicism and decided: c’est la vie let the good times roll!

Sam and Trixie met for lunch at noon that Sunday. They left the restaurant at 4 o’clock – totally enamored with one another. 

The only other fact that she would share was that he was a “good kisser.”

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And so it begins. It all starts with”hello”

 

 

 

Opening Line

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