Match.com study reveals men prefer “Snuggling” over – pretty much everything

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A recent analysis of Match.com Male Profiles

(Ages 40-60, Never Married, Divorced, Widowed, within 1000 miles of California) indicates a very strong preference for the use of the word and the desire to “Snuggle.”

See Samples Below:

I hope you would like snuggling by the fire listening to the rain.

I like fireplaces, bubble baths, and snuggling.

I just want to snuggle on the couch.

Do you want to be my snuggle bunny?

After a long day at work, I just like to watch TV and snuggle. How about you?

My favorite thing to do is snuggling, kissing, and snuggling. Golly, gee whiz.

My favorite thing to do? Oh, I have a long list. But first on the list of snuggling, ya wanna?

This particular study* group espouses no interest in: embracing, cradling, holding close, hugging, caressing or enveloping. This predilection, known as Myopic Verbal Dystopia is not contagious.

“Canoodling” holds a close second to Snuggling.

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  1. Origins of Myopic Verbal Dystopia in an Evolving Social Network,” The All American Journal of Sociology 666 (2013): 411, accessed February 29, 2013, doi:12.3456/7890.

Life Coach Steven Wright: “There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

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He’s just not that into you- but he loves himself

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Kaylene K of Sausalito sends in this eHarmony First Date story:

He’s just not that into you- but finds himself fascinating

By the end of one of the most entertaining evenings of my life, my mouth hurt from smiling too much. I had an amazing meal. I’ve been in the presence of a loquacious comedic star, shining bright; and I’d been the best audience he had known. (Split the tab)

His total lack of interest in my life doused any embers and interest in him.

As we walked out of the sublime restaurant into the whipping winds and fog of summer in Sausalito, he did say, “Colleen, you are so private. You didn’t tell me about yourself.”

I fluttered with a tiny speck of hope, and then he lapsed into another story about his own fabulous self.

C’est fini!

Thank heaven we lived in polar opposite sides of town. We agreed to separate cabs and nodded -  “Lovely evening.” and big air-kisses with an unspoken “We are so not a match. Buh bye.”

The final blessing – to alleviate any guilt or awkwardness- was when

Mr. I Love to Hear Myself Talk said,   “Good night, Kathy!”

And we were off!

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Thanks, Kaylene – keep those notes and letters coming!  Love Always, Page

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Where are all the single guys in Marin?

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Donde esta los muchachos?

Dear Page Larkin 

I went to the movie Friday afternoon and the room was filled with women. No, it wasn’t a chick flick. It was Birdman.

I went to a Pinot Noir wine tasting at Whole Foods, Wednesday night, and there were 75% single women and 25% couples.

Rick’s Wine Bar looks like a sorority party. I can’t bring myself to attend NASCAR or cigar bars.

Where are all the boys?

I went to a trendy, cool, church-nope, all gray-haired ladies – pretty much. Next, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond on a Sunday – It was like a wedding shower- the aisles were filled with women, girls, ladies, shopping for linens and things.

Is it me, or is it Marin County? This is like living in the world of the Amazons.

By mistake, I went to San Rafael on a Friday Night. It was packed with 20 to 30-year-old Frat boys high-fiving one another and measuring virility/maturity by the number of Sake bombs they were throwing back.

Where are the big boys?

Optimistic, I walked around downtown Mill Valley one evening – after 8 PM – it was a like a ghost town. I ran into Mort Sahl. We talked Purple Onion.

Where do the guys go?

From, Fresno to Frisco to Frustrated in Marin

Dear From Fresno to Frisco to Frustrated…

Brava- you have done due diligence – don’t give up. You’re right, guys are not in bookstores,  yoga classes, or cake decorating classes – they should be – that’s where women go. They are more apt to be at a dive bar watching the game, Lowes, Home Depot, the Bike Store, Sweetwater…

A guy has got to eat… Of course, you will see them lingering in the aisles at Safeway, Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, -you get the idea. Smile. Say hey.

Here are two hot books filled with terrific insights on the Male Man of Marin

Love in 90 Days-  by Dr Diane Kirschner – This is a fun read – chock-filled with great advice on the where and hows to meet another attractive single at 50 person. This book flew off the shelves when it first came out…it has some quirky and kooky ideas, I love the good Dr’s advice on becoming a Stud-finder.  Take a look – there are many viable, relevant tips on the Dating Pool – come on in, the water is fine. Sitting at home, alone, on your computer is strictly verboten.

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Check out: Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You’ve Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted. Dr Judith Sills

Yes, the title is clunky and the content is cool, very cool. This book is  great resource on Dating at 50 and where to meet singles and what to do when you do…how to avoid duds, deadbeats and how to incorporate smart sexual strategies into your dating repertoire. One of the author’s mantra’s “Just say Yes” to every social event…be open, available and have fun out there.

Where the Guys are:

Tip of the day: Where the Boys are: Men go out to Breakfast. 

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“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.” Steven Wright

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Buckle Up: Pick Up Lines that sizzle and fizzle

smallwwer26831_20130808-2Once upon a time,  a long time ago…

“Do you come here often?” and “What’s your sign?” were once the holy grail of Pick Up Lines.

And they worked. Now the bar has been raised at the bar and at the cafe, the courts. Everywhere. Creativity breeds content.

Saddle up - Here is a selection of Pick Up Lines; there are the fleet and funny -  a clunker, a loaner, a groaner and a few fast ones.

  • Have we met? Would you like to?
    Sorry, I have to ask. How was heaven when you left it?
    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
    Excuse me, If I followed you home, would you keep me?
    What time do you have to be back in heaven, angel?
    Don’t I know you?
    Would you like me to walk you home? To my home?
    Are you going my way?
    Did we go to school together? I could swear….
    Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
    Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And, whoa – I’m so lost at sea.
    Pardon me. Are you religious? Because you are the answers to all my prayers.
    You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

valentines-flash-box-990Try them – What do you have to lose? He laughs, she laughs, they roll their eyes - and you have their attention.

Women are flattered by attention and men are, generally, amazed that a woman would use ” a line.” Go for it!

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Playboys: They are everywhere – mind your wallet

knotsgoodPlayboys. Don Juans, Cassanovas, Lotharios…

The next morning, I found the note written on a crumpled  brown paper bag tucked on my windshield.  It read:

“I had so much fun falling in love with you, evidently it didn’t take.”

I met a playboy. Another one.

He whispered poetry – Keats – in my ear. He gazed into my eyes. He took my wrist and softly traced a heart in my open palm. He told me his heart was beating like the wings of a silver moth against a windowpane.

Softly and slowly, he said I was the incandescent light he wished to be near. Always.

He held my hand, in both his hands, and said my aura was silver with golden hues of pink reverberating like an explosion of tiny shooting stars.

He said he could imagine waking up with me day after day, and that his life would only be complete if I were in his life.

Then he patted his pockets, looked to the sky, rolled his eyes and said, “Oh my. I seem to have forgotten my wallet…. Darling, would you mind paying for the champagne?”

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“The path of least resistance is the path of the loser.”In

H.G. Wells


 

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Dating 101: To tell the truth? Age, weight, height and income, really?

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Lindsey was livid.

No one told her she would have to reveal her height, weight, age, and income to total strangers. Men Strangers – from all over the United States.

She just wanted to meet a guy in San Francisco- preferably within a 10-mile radius.

Hearing about all the fun her single friends were having on Plenty of Fish and Match and OurTime she decided to “Go for it.”

The Fine Print

Right out of the box, she had to fill out a questionnaire and write mini-essays. Not a problem – she was a writer and banged out clever and pithy answers. He better like pithy, she thought…

She had been a Jack Benny “39” for so long – she forgot (kind of) her real age. And, she was supposed to reveal her income? What kind of dating service was this?

She claimed even her closest friends didn’t know those things. They knew she had a lot of interests, read best-sellers, did Tai Chi, was a published author, who had of her own business- which hit the skids for one year and gracefully resurrected, but no one asked her about her financial stability or income.

 Polite Society

Her employees, book club and  wine club pals never ever asked about her religious beliefs. She was a ‘Church-hopper’ – Glide Memorial once in awhile, Grace Cathedral for Thursday Evensong, Taize at Trinity and “St. Mary’s of the Maytag” for special events. She “liked” temple.

No one asked her: Questions about her age (58)  weight (130) height (5’8)/ or stats about her finances or whether she was religious. Was it really relevant?  Shethinks not.

And now, she’s going to advertise to strangers?

 No Way – No How - 

After reluctantly  filling out the various questions and downloading pictures – Lindsay pulled the plug.  It wasn’t right.  She shunned the idea of signing up with dating one of the Big Five Dating companies.

She looked into the Marin-Matchmaker-mother-daughter team. Evidently, they charged thousands of dollars for a single date and the plethora of caustic online write-ups made the “Dating Service”  very questionable, at best. Next.

 Meet Me at Meetup.com?

Lindsay decided to join Stairway Walks of San Francisco Meetup.com group and the Sierra Club Singles. Quelle surprise – no one asked her, “Are you 5’8 or 5’10?” Nor did they inquire about the money she made whether she was Christian or spiritual-not-religious. Period.

She met nice people, had fun, and made friends.  And then she met Donald in Palo Alto. Well beyond her 10-mile boundary and well beyond her wildest expectations.

Happily everafter. Yes, Cinderella , it happens.

happy woman

 

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Flirting 101: The Irish joust and the French flirt


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Flirting 101: The Irish joust and the French pursue

 When it comes to the rhythms of romance, flirtation, and seduction there are distinct national styles of flirting.

 The French are much more about charm, persuasion, and allure. They are apt to touch your arm, your cheek, look longingly into your eyes and kiss you on both cheeks and wax poetic… while calling you ‘mon petite Chou.’

French men do not blink when they throw you a kooky pick up line – like one of these:

Excuse-moi. Est-ce que tu embrasses les inconnus? Non? Donc, je me présente.
Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Then let me introduce myself….

Bon Jour…Je viens d’arriver dans ta ville. Est-ce que tu pourrais m’indiquer le chemin jusqu’à ton appartement?
Whatszup…I just arrived in this city. Could you tell me the way to your apartment?

The French are famous for hedonism and prioritizing… and  fashion, wine, champagne, cheese, the Musee D’Orsay, the Pompidou Centre and of course the Louvre..for famous authors including Cyrano de Bergerac, Albert Camus, Gustave Flaubert, Jules Verne, Victor Hugo and Alexandre Dumas…and for flirtatious French Men. All women prefer Maurice Chevalier over Dominique Strauss Kahn

The French are true romantics. They feel the only difference between a man of forty and one of seventy is thirty years of experience.    Maurice Chevalier

Irish9The Irish embrace a ‘rugged charm’ and are more apt to slap you on the back, give you a bear hug and offer to buy you a pint… the Irish male may have a small

Repertoire of funny stories and may say you are ‘as comfortable as an old shoe.’

The Irish are very well known for their wit, quick humor, compassion and for the likes of Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, James Joyce, Roddy Doyle, Frank McCourt, Samuel Beckett, Kelly, Walsh, Donovan, Monaghan, Callaghan, Burns, Murphy…

 

Their Pick Up lines May Run the Gamut from A – B….

  • How Ya doin?
  • Do you come her often?
  • Want to come home with me? Can I go home with you?
  • You look like I need a drink, join me?

Sure now, with little training… miracles happen. Irish men are generally clever, people pleasing, easy going, optimistic and respect their mothers…

What the Irish know – conversation is seduction.

Generally speaking: The Irish Male makes contact with a woman -and they talk about what they have in common. Often this is infused with much teasing, wit, a wink, a nudge and a smile… Mutually, the couple decides what they have in common and then…plan on developing it.

I’ll have a pint!

clover_t588Do you wish to spar or spark? Joust and joke or flirt and play? 

 

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What does an online dating email scam look like? Here are two

Gator20081017Everyone talks about the hustles, the hustlers, the gold-diggers on the                Top Online Dating Sites.

How can you tell if you are being hit up by a scoundrel scammer? Here are two big-time, small mind, classic Online Dating Scammers

His opening email will look just like this:

Hello dear,
How are you doing ? Wow! You look very beautiful, i really like what am seeing in you as a woman… I would like to communicate with you, kindly text me, (650) 434-7—-. or you feel free to email me ( randyvincent @ /y/a/h/o/o/. com ) I think i am capable to offer your heart desires. I have heard about so i gave it a trial but i will be glad to use this opportunity to meet someone that i can build friendship with and probably go from there. Thank you and i will look forward to hear from you.

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Top Clues:

1. English is not his first language, dear.

2. Afflicted by Bad Punctuation or an ee cummings wannabe?

3. Wants to get off the dating site ASAP and go to Y/a/h/o/o –  and will look forward  to build friendship with…and perhaps you have some money he needs…wow, you beautiful woman.

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Pamlea K. in Pacifica forwards this piece of work:

 
“Roberto love your profile” (Replete with a photo of a woman)

Pardon to cut you unaware. I had to do this because i m desperate to connect with you and i was thinking if this was right? let me be the criminal of desperation in the court of love… lol….i’m very  fun to be around with… Perhaps that you will have to find out, if you give me the privilege to know you?. I think the this idea is creative lol.       My name is Terry and i m using colleague profile. 55 years of age, widower, 5.11ft tall, cute, with good sense of humor. Age is a number.

I live in California, I m not a registered member yet and this not my account and photos. It’s for an old colleague of mine in a conference whom wanted to show me around online dating. I got   attracted to your write up, and i think we have some things in common to share   Feel free to contact me to contact me on my email and i will tell you more about me and send you my current pictures.         robertoterry04 @ g m a i l.c o m

“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

Quits20060522These guys troll EHarmony, Match, Ourtime…all the major dating websites.

You better watch out – - your better not reply~

You better tell the dating company about Not so Randy Vincent. Or “Roberto Terry”

Good luck!

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Top 20 Best Ice Breaking Conversation Starters

photo_21523_20120317Kevin, is brand new at the dating game was clueless when it came to “chatting.”

He was a superb interviewer and adroit cross-examiner, and eloquent closing argument kind of a guy…He was too nervous for small talk on a first, (or second, date.)

He asked me for 10 – 20 Opening Lines/Ice Breakers when talking to ‘Someone of the Opposite Sex.’   Voila!

 The Top 20 Questions to Break the Ice


1. Tell me about your best friend.

2. Tell me about your very worst job.

  1. What was your very first car?
  2. What was your very best job?

5. Tell me about your family and where you grew up.

6. Tell me about your very favorite relative.

7. Tell me the Top Five places you’ve worked

8. Who is your all-time favorite female movie star?

  1. What passions / hobbies do you spend money on?
  2. What’s you very favorite song?
  3. Tell me one really life-changing moment?
  4. When did you meet your very first girlfriend/boyfriend?
  5. Where and when was your first kiss and with whom?
  6. What is the silliest thing you have ever done?
  7. What is the worst prank you’ve pulled?
  8. Tell me the most romantic date you’ve ever planned.
  9. They say, “Women shop and men buy.” What is one store you wouldn’t be caught dead in?
  10. Alaska or Hawaii – what is your choice?
  11. Tell me what your perfect day-off looks like?

20. If someone gave you two free tickets to anywhere in the world – where would you go?

photo_8735_20081228 Note To Dater: Do Not ask all these questions – at once- to the same person. Your goals to create a conversation – not conduct a job interview.

Have fun out there!

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Lost: Dating Mojo – last seen 1977

lock on old broken doorwayAfter another five dead-end, awkward dates, Kevin swore off dating. His original visions of wild and sexy affairs with lurid, wanton women weren’t happening.

He had watched one too many eHarmony television commercials and thought everything was going to be a bed of roses…well, at least a bed of something.

Confused and Confounded

He was confused by things women wrote: “Not going Glamping” What the heck was glamping? “I only drink Holy Water?” What? And what was a “Burning Man- Lover?”

Always one to defer to research, he read a few “How-to” dating books and slowly realized he was out of his element and not quite in the 2014 swing of things

One woman, “SF Frisky,” responded to Kevin’s opening, email, with “TLTR.” He had to Google the acronym to learn it meant, Too Long to Read. Really, one paragraph? Kevin had lost his patience and mojo.

Try, Try, Again?

A week later, Sherrey from Tiburon contacted him. She was bubbly, friendly and wanted to meet him. She said she really liked his picture.  Nobody had liked this picture- until now.

According to her profile she was blonde, 39+, loved skiing, tennis, wine tasting and the opera.

What’s not to like?

He wrote back immediately and agreed to meet her Saturday morning at the Starbucks in San Rafael.

Kevin was ready! Finally, a woman found him attractive and had contacted him. Things were beginning to look up. He found the Starbucks and scored a table. He sat next to a brunette woman and pretended to read his Wall Street Journal, his eye on the door.

Only a few minutes went by before the woman on his right tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he was “Kevin SF Giants.”

Startled, he nodded and she announced that she was Sherrey from Tiburon. Kevin stared. He was supposed to meet a blonde 39-year-old tennis playing, opera buff.

This woman was 50 – if she was a day -and she had long dark hair. She couldn’t be the blonde, tennis player- there had to be a mistake. He was flummoxed – mumbled and fumbled. Again, not knowing what to make of this total stranger.

“You play tennis?” popped out of his mouth. She laughed. It was a raspy, smoker’s voice and said, “No, but I love to watch it on TV.”

Eventually, he calmed down and went through the motions. His mind was flapping back to the online photo he had glanced at, just this morning, and the woman sitting across from him. There was absolutely no resemblance. This would not be a one-time-only event.

Flash Forward: Six Months.

Kevin had a total of 32 first dates and no second dates. Was he  a slow study or just striking out? He claimed he had met every “possible” 35 to 55-year-old woman (under 200 pounds) within 30 miles of his ZIP code.

 

Kevin Learns the Ropes

In time, with practice and a spread sheet- he eventually became a more astute “dater.”

First, he devised, a formulaic introductory e-mail. Statistically, five out of 10 women responded.

Second: Two e-mails later: he invited a phone conversation and included his telephone number. He even suggested a good time for the woman to call him. Seven out of ten women called him back.

Kevin had a “Top-Five Question List” that he nonchalantly asked each woman. He thought he was getting really good at this. Never mind about the person on the other end of the phone was feeling like she was on a job interview.

Note to reader: Predictable questions are a buzz kill- they indicate no joi de vivre – no spontaneity. Dull times three.

 

NEXT: The Secret to Kevin’s Success -

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