Sexy seniors – bed hopping bunnies?

 photo_1396_20060405Like bunnies: Bed-hopping at the Senior Residence Center

At first, it was ‘The Secret Scandal’ at the very upscale Retirement Community in San Francisco. It seemed there were two or three widows – who missed male companionship- and flirted frequently and aggressively with many of the married men.

Well, the brazen hussy’s passes and pick-ups incensed the wives of these easy octogenarians. There were ensuing meetings, with tears and new rules about waltzing round in filmy peignoirs. Unannounced nocturnal visits were severely frowned upon. And, os it

 New Hot Spot or Seniors

There’s a particularly, hot, new senior community for Elders (the term: Old Age Home went out with tie-dye and patchouli oil.) Some say it already has a flamboyant reputation and the waitlist to get in is as long as the line at The Buckeye Bar on a Friday night.


Looking at Flirting at 80: Is it bold, randy, and rule-free?

 How Older Men Flirt

 – Older, single, men tend to drive flashy cars: These cars – often- red – scream “Look at me! I’m havin’ a midlife crisis! Look at me. Please”

- Daddy Big Bucks plays Show and Tell: Some of these guys think flashing a wad of cash is sexy and a magnet.

- He brags about his successful kids:  Mind you, he might not be speaking to his children. He may not even understand what their career path involves (what exactly is IT?) And, yet he brags. A successful kid is a status symbol.

- He peppers his sentences with phrases like, “My former wife” and “When I was married…”- In no uncertain terms would he allow anyone to think he was currently married.

- Living in the Past: He talks about the “good old days” and his past successes, the trips he took, the fabulous restaurants he went to, the cars he drove, how he used to party like it was 1999…


How Older Women Flirt

Va, Va, Voom! Some sexy grandmothers subscribe to a more devil-may-care Mae West School of Flirting

 - Push Ups: take on a new meaning; she shows a lot more cleavage.

 – Let me squeeze you in: She wears tight clothing -which is shorter and more revealing; She shops at H+M, in the teenage section at Macy’s- if she can.

“I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.” Mae West

- Hello, Sailor: She’s been known to buy drinks for the “Young man (50) at the end of the bar”

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” Mae West

- Happy Hour starts at 12n Or “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere” Some old dolls sit at the bar, over tip the bartender and scan the room like a semaphore – looking for love. They are open, friendly and will talk to anyone.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” Mae West


Whether you are 20, 40, 60, or 80…Can you spell STD’s?

Get checked and make certain your new best friend has been tested. too.

Best Movie of the Week: This Ain’t No Mouse Music


Best Movie of the Week: This Ain’t No Mouse Music

Our Hero: Chris Strachwitz does more to save, salvage and celebrate American Roots Music than anyone or any institution.

The highly entertaining, fascinating documentary chronicles Chris Strachwitz – who has been producing live albums of American roots music for more than 50 years. Strachwitz is the founder of the famous El Cerrito, California-based roots music label Arhoolie Records,

“This Ain’t No Mouse Music is an infectiously enjoyable portrait of a man who has devoted his life to doing what he loves.” The HolywoodReporter


 Playing at The Rafael Theater in San Rafael, CA

raf theatreee

Lewis Buzbee stars at Book Passages Thursday 9/25



Marin County Welcomes Lewis Buzbee

Book Passages is the place to be Thursday, 9/25 at 7 PM

Buzbee is a highly esteemed teacher in the MFA in Creative Writing Program at

the University of San Francisco.  

His new book    Blackboard: A Personal History of the Classroom

“Blackboard: A Personal History of the Classroom looks to the origins of kindergarten, muses on the architecture of schools, and organizing principles and objects of the classroom like the blackboard and the desk, to discover what those spaces and objects tell students about the importance of learning. Buzbee adds insight not only as student, but also as a teacher and a father as he contrasts his daughter’s experiences with his own.

This unique and refreshing approach to the subject makes for a warm and accessible read, and his story stands as a testament to what school can achieve in the life of a student.”


Lewis Buzbee is the author of The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop, After the Gold Rush, and Fliegelman’s Desire, as well as three award-winning novels for younger readers, Steinbeck’s Ghost, The Haunting of Charles Dickens, and Bridge of Time.

He lives in San Francisco with his wife and daughter.


Best of Marin, Best Authors, Best Writing Teachers,

Check out: Online dating scam artists abound

 photo_21517_20120317Online dating scam artists are everywhere

Learning a new language can be challenging, in the best of times
David Sedaris, my favorite humorist, describes his hilarious and futile efforts at speaking French in France in his book, Me Talk Pretty One Day. He tried and failed, much to our immense amusement.

Whee or Oui?

Remember high school French and stumbling over the sins of syntax and subjective adverbs? In time you learned conjugal visits were different from conjugated verbs. Agreed, mastering the English language is challenging, Just look at the ESL Nigerian scam artists who attempt to cleverly climb their way into you life.

On the Look out: Pirates, crooks, scam artists

Lately, there are ESL Nigerian pirates climbing aboard the virtual Love Boats of on line dating sites like and Plenty of Fish. Avast ye, daters.

The plan of attack is formulaic. Lynne  reports she received a “wink” from a handsome man who looked like a LL Bean model. His opening line was “I’ll love you like there is no tomorrow.” Next, she said, the English began to melt like an ice cream cone in July.

He continued, “I newly approach this renewed journey with caution as my feelings and heart are quick to get the best of my head. I too am not a night life person, I prefer to stay in a home or be someplace spacial.” And he concluded with, “Honest always as there is nothing that I can think of it that would it make wrong. I have a very beat off sense of humor and I am quick with wit.”

On closer inspection, Lynne  reported the ‘quick with wit guy’ – the blonde model/citizen was, indeed, wearing a LL Bean shirt. She surmises the photo must have been clipped out of the catalog. She deleted the dude and reported the ‘fake’ to the powers that be at

Janice B in Boston reports her “wink” came from a Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity look alike, sporting six-pack abs. His opening line, “Hey there. I am from California, the state that state governor can’t spell. Well, we can’t spell his last name either, so it’s fair enough.”

The first sentence was peppered with five smiley faces.

Finally, Mr. California wrote, “I have written humor texts in the past, I can share my work if you need proof (smiley face, again) Please contact and let’s further talk.” He posted 10 photos of various places in the world (extracted from old National Geographic magazines?) and four, very out of focus photos of men who faintly resembled one another. All had one common denominator: they all had black hair. Janice B also quickly deleted, erased and dumped the scam artist’s efforts.

Caveat Emptor. There is a movement afoot to throw these scallywags off the boat and stop the potential pillaging.

Buyer beware of the scams – that am. Freebooters be gone.

How to get a date? Get up and get out of the house

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12
Dream on and Dream Big

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

Live the life you imagined.”

                                                              -Henry David Thoreau


Okay, so you got temporarily de-railed with a Chapter in Life

(i.e divorce, break up, a dry spell, hiccup- call it what you will)

Binkie, it is time to get back on the horse…Oh, you’ve never ridden a horse…

Okay. New Metaphor. Get back on the bicycle - Oh, the new Titanium, $1500 bikes with tires as thin as black licorice intimidate you?  You prefer a pastel, Schwinn with fat tires and pink streamers flying in the wind? Is fear stopping you from trying the Dating Game?

Snap out of it…you can do this. It’s time to take the shroud off your heart and get out there and dabble in the Playground of Life: Dating World.

Mae West was right: “I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.”

 A smart, savvy, Dating Coach will tell you:

#1. You aren’t going to meet anyone in your living room. Get out of the house.

#2. Go where the action is – not the library – not the far left front pew at church/synagogue. See Previous post – Top 10 Places to Meet Men/Women -

#3. Sign up for online dating - Today the Top Three are Match, OurTime and EHarmony. They spend more money on advertising than the next 10 sites combined. Match is the most well-known dating site, Eharmony has as a time consuming application process- but, it is worth it. OurTime ( is this beginning to sound like Goldilocks?) is just right…as is JDate. OKCupid and Plenty of Fish are both free- …Catholic Date is too Opus dei…and ohmygod, is too trippy…

#4.Once you are On -Up and Running on a Dating Site – for the best results you must:
Flirt 5 times every day.  Send a short – a one line- note to – 5 different people – every day. What to say?

Easy: “Loved reading your profile – we have somethings in common. Take a look. Hope to hear from you.”

Simple, succinct, polite and inviting. Go ahead – give it a whirl…

Remember: Cast your net high, wide and often…

Have fun out there.


The 60’s Cosmo Girl was a Wild Child


Sex and the Single Girls – Thanks to Helen Gurley Brown and the original Cosmopolitan Magazine

Originally posted on Suddenly Single... Minded:


Sex and the Single Girl, the risqué bestseller of 1962, changed the way women thought about the chase and being chaste.

Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan magazine editor, wrote the avant-garde book that instantly climbed and stayed at Best Seller status. The racy book, renown to be suggestive – in a good way- was a frothy concoction. Women in 29 countries devoured it. Mundane copies of Good Housekeeping, Redbook and SeventeenSex and the Single Girl was considered provocative required reading. magazines were kicked to the curb, as women basked in the sexy secrets and revolutionary advice for the 60’s.

At the time, The 1960’s model citizens: June Cleaver, Donna Reed and Marlo Thomas types were “out”. Gossamer gowned Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” was “in”

The Cosmopolitan magazine of that era was innovative and provocative. Today’s version of the magazine is a poor little…

View original 173 more words

The war of the sexes? Marin Singles workshop shock and ah

photop-eacockCharday, has a PhD in Behavioral Sciences.

Years ago, she self-published a book called Magnetizing Your Man in 30 Days.

Let’s just say she still had cases of unsold books in her garage.
Newly re-invented as a Dating Coach, she recently gathered a “Focus group” in her home in Sausalito to research her next book about being Suddenly Single, again …

After an abbreviated cocktail hour (15 minutes) she urged us 10 “Special Invitees” to take a seat in her very small living room. Our group was comprised of five women and five men. We all looked to be 50 – except for the Botox babe in plunging neckline and leather skirt and boots. She looked older – and perpetually surprised.

Fast and Easy

Charday had set up a video camera and said, “This is going to be fast and easy. The camera is rolling and I’m going to offer a “Prompt”. I want you to say whatever comes up for you. Don’t hesitate. Don’t edit yourselves. Shoot from the hip.”

Clipboard in hand, she scanned the five men seated in front of her, she paused. She took a deep breath like she was starting a game of Charades.  “Okay, men. Fill in the blank: Women are like …. which animal?”

Without missing a beat, the man across from me said, “Otters.”

All women the room looked at this guy quizzically. He was handsome, lean, with a shaved head and twinkling blue eyes.

I laughed out loud. He smiled and repeated “Yep. Otters.”

Charday urged him to continue.

Handsome bald guy said, “My experience is that women, meet other women and they bond instantly. Like otters they band together on the raft of life and are totally content to be with one another. There have no need for a man. No need for intimacy or even male companionship. They’re happy- alone with each other.”


The five females instantly disagreed. We were, momentarily, indignant. Slowly, two of us nodded our heads – he made a point.

There was actually some merit to what he said. I was thinking of several friends who once were ‘foxes’ – did time as “cougars” and now were definitely otters.

A second man, the red head guy in navy corduroy pants and a tweed jacket chimed in, “No, women are more like Border Collies”.

This time all of the men laughed.

He continued,  “For a long time, all the women I met were like Border Collies – you know – good looking, protective and affectionate, with a real sense of direction. Only problem, they all wanted the same thing.”

We all waited for the punch line. Smiling, he continued, “They want to be in charge and direct everything. That’s a major turn off.”

He smiled broadly and looked to the other men for validation. Didn’t happen.

Our host didn’t miss a beat and reminded us to be quick and decisive in our responses.

She indicated we would not dwell on any one subject. Once again, she took a deep breath, looked at her clipboard, smiled in the direction of the camera and this time she looked at the women in the room and said,

“Okay, ladies: Ex-husbands are like?… fill in the blank.”

All of us either laughed or rolled our eyes. Then the blonde woman sitting next to Otter -guy said, “Ex-husbands are like a pair of Levi’s. When they are new, you love them. You take care of them and they fit you.

They look good on you and they go with everything. Then they began to wear a little thin. And they’re not so great anymore.

They are let down. A zipper may break. You might experience the heartbreak of broken zipper or broken vow.”

All of us sat spellbound.

“Then, let’s say after 17 years of wear and tear and some situation, those Levi’s don’t fit your life.. You have problems with style, shape, communication.”

She took a big gulp of air and continued, “You wake up one day and realize you might have to go to a tailor for a repair or even get professional help. It’s not a perfect fit.

You realize one day: those old Levis are out of style and you deserve better. You deserve designer jeans.”

She stopped speaking and just stared at her hands.

Pin drop.

You could hear a pin drop.

Everyone stared at this total stranger who had revealed so much in so little time.

Even Charday – totally off her game – simply looked at the woman who sat motionless.

pants two

And then we stopped.



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