The 60’s Cosmo Girl was a Wild Child


Sex and the Single Girls – Thanks to Helen Gurley Brown and the original Cosmopolitan Magazine

Originally posted on Suddenly Single... Minded:


Sex and the Single Girl, the risqué bestseller of 1962, changed the way women thought about the chase and being chaste.

Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan magazine editor, wrote the avant-garde book that instantly climbed and stayed at Best Seller status. The racy book, renown to be suggestive – in a good way- was a frothy concoction. Women in 29 countries devoured it. Mundane copies of Good Housekeeping, Redbook and SeventeenSex and the Single Girl was considered provocative required reading. magazines were kicked to the curb, as women basked in the sexy secrets and revolutionary advice for the 60’s.

At the time, The 1960’s model citizens: June Cleaver, Donna Reed and Marlo Thomas types were “out”. Gossamer gowned Marilyn Monroe singing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” was “in”

The Cosmopolitan magazine of that era was innovative and provocative. Today’s version of the magazine is a poor little…

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The war of the sexes? Marin Singles workshop shock and ah

photop-eacockCharday, has a PhD in Behavioral Sciences.

Years ago, she self-published a book called Magnetizing Your Man in 30 Days.

Let’s just say she still had cases of unsold books in her garage.
Newly re-invented as a Dating Coach, she recently gathered a “focus group” in her home in Sausalito to research her next book about being Suddenly Single, again …

After an abbreviated cocktail hour (15 minutes) she urged us 10 “Special Invitees” to take a seat in her very small living room. Our group was comprised of five women and five men. We all looked to be 50 – except for the Botox babe in plunging neckline and leather skirt and boots. She looked older – and perpetually surprised.

Charday had set up a video camera and said, “This is going to be fast and easy. The camera is rolling and I’m going to offer a “Prompt”. I want you to say whatever comes up for you. Don’t hesitate. Don’t edit yourselves. Shoot from the hip.”

Clipboard in hand, she scanned the five men seated in front of her, she paused. She took a deep breath like she was starting a game of Charades. She said, “Okay, men. Fill in the blank: Women are like …. which animal?”

Without missing a beat, the man across from me said, “Otters.”

All women the room looked at this guy quizzically. He was handsome, lean, with a shaved head and twinkling blue eyes.

I laughed out loud. He smiled and repeated “Yep. Otters.”

Charday urged him to continue.

Handsome bald guy said, “My experience is that women, meet other women and they bond instantly. Like otters they band together on the raft of life and are totally content to be with one another. There have no need for a man. No need for intimacy or even male companionship. They’re happy- alone with each other.”


The five females instantly disagreed. We were, momentarily, indignant. Slowly, two of us nodded our heads – he made a point.

There was actually some merit to what he said. I was thinking of several friends who once were ‘foxes’ – did time as “cougars” and now were definitely otters.

A second man, the red head guy in navy corduroy pants and a tweed jacket chimed in, “No, women are more like Border Collies”.

This time all of the men laughed.

He said, “For a long time, all the women I met were like Border Collies – you know – good looking, protective and affectionate, with a real sense of direction. Only problem, they all wanted the same thing.”

We all waited for the punch line. Smiling, he continued, “They want to be in charge and direct everything. That’s a major turn off.”

He smiled broadly and looked to the other men for validation. Didn’t happen.

Our host didn’t miss a beat and reminded us to be quick and decisive in our responses.

She indicated we would not dwell on any one subject. Once again, she took a deep breath, looked at her clipboard, smiled in the direction of the camera and this time she looked at the women in the room and said,

“Okay, ladies: Ex-husbands are like?… fill in the blank.”

All of us either laughed or rolled our eyes. Then the blonde woman sitting next to Otter -guy said, “Ex-husbands are like a pair of Levi’s. When they are new, you love them. You take care of them and they fit you.

They look good on you and they go with everything. Then they began to wear a little thin. And they’re not so great anymore.

They are let down. A zipper may break. You might experience the heartbreak of broken zipper or broken vow.”

All of us sat spellbound.

“Then, let’s say after 17 years of wear and tear and some situation, those Levi’s don’t fit your life.. You have problems with style, shape, communication.”

She took a big gulp of air and continued, “You wake up one day and realize you might have to go to a tailor for a repair or even get professional help. It’s not a perfect fit.

You realize one day: those old Levis are out of style and you deserve better. You deserve designer jeans.”

She stopped speaking and just stared at her hands.

Pin drop.

You could hear a pin drop.

Everyone stared at this total stranger who had revealed so much in so little time.

Even Charday – totally off her game – simply looked at the woman who sat motionless.

pants two

And then we stopped.


Missed Manners? Can you please say thank you?

imagesElbows off the table. Man overboard*. Napkin on your lap.

Sit up straight. Knife and fork rest on the plate together, side-by-side.

Stand when a lady approaches the table. Hold the door open for another. Remember the ‘Magic Words: please and thank you.
All of the above were ‘manners messages’ that many of us grew up hearing. The run- away best seller of 1922, ‘Etiquette’ by Emily Post,  was deemed the definitive book on good manners for decades.

*That was code for removing a soup spoon from the bowl and placing it on the plate.

Thank you notes passé?

heartsThere was a time when all men wore hats and walked nearest to the curb to protect the lady, in her full voluminous skirts, from the possible puddle splash of a passing carriage. Hats are gone. Are good manners next?
A quick exit poll at a local 24-Hour Fitness
spoke volumes about the practice of writing thank you notes. Asked the last time they wrote a thank you note, nine (30-somethings) responded, sheepishly…”In college or high school.” Five responded, “Frequently” and five asked, “What’s a thank you note?”

Entitlement or lousy manners?
You be the judge. Some say you have the responsibility to teach your children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren the value of good manners and saying thanks. Emily Post waxes rhapsodic about the proper ink, handwriting, verbiage, and length of a note. Nowadays, short and sweet gets the job done elegantly.
Fact: saying thank you is not old-fashioned. It is savvy, smart, and displays intelligence and good taste. The holidays are upon us. This means a flood of opportunities to get and receive gifts and invitations. What do you say? Thank you for taking the time to read this. May I please be excused?

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.”
Meister Eckhart

Bronze buddah in the park

Check out: Top 10 signs you are in love

guys i datesd
You know you are in love when the Joy of Sex

replaces the Joy of Cooking

You are so ‘In Love’ when:

1. You’ve become bilingual in the language of love – lots of “sweetheart, babe, and darling” punctuate your sentences now.

2. It takes you 10 minutes to dress for work – and two hours to bathe and then put together the right shoes, outfit, accessories, scent, and fix your hair and prepare for a date with your paramour.

3. You scour The SF Chron  Pink Section an Johnny FunCheap for local jazz and entertainment venues – looking for hot events.

4. The Joy of Cooking has been replaced with The Joy of Sex as your reference manual.

5. You seek out that perfect bottle of wine for a perfect evening. Frequently.

6. You smile way more than is humanly necessary. You just can’t help it.

7. Andrea Bocelli, Frank Sinatra and most love songs – make you swoon – especially “Besame Mucho.”

8. You linger in the lingerie department – your imagination running a marathon of mischief. Fresh flowers, candles, and table settings have resurrected to a new level of appreciation in your world.

9. Your friends and coworkers comment that you’re constantly “In a good mood.”

10.You memorize the Robert Burns famed romantic poem,“A Red, Red, Rose”

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.”    Robert Frost


A Red, Red Rose

O my Luve is like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve is like the melody
That’s sweetly played in tune.

So fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry.

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will love thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.

And fare thee weel, my only luve!
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my luve,
Though it were ten thousand mile.

Got dates? Need Ideas?

Wooden foot bridge in the woods.
Zip the Light Fantastic

1. Getting high in the Redwoods – Zipline through the Redwoods. The two hour all-inclusive guided tour includes six zip lines up to 440 feet long and two sky bridges at heights of up to 150 feet near Santa Cruz with Redwood Canopy Tours.Whee! Mount Hermon Tours Santa Cruz

2. California Academy of Sciences The third Wednesday is Free Admission Day at Golden Gate Park’s new Jewel in the Crown -Cal Academy- open from 9:30 am to 5:00 pm. Check out the planetarium, aquarium, rainforest, roof garden and natural history museum. Always hook up a docent; their vast knowledge make the experience come alive. See if you can find the Warhols. Multiple venues for lunch or dinner blocks away at 9th and Irving Streets.

3. Laugh in and Check out: Mill Valley’s Tuesday is Comedy Night at the Throckmorton hosted by Mark Pitta and Friends. Pitta, a local legend, comedian, and classic boy-next-door-cute guy, hosts an evening of comedy. Go up the street for a drink at Vasco – home of Marin’s most handsome and amiable bartenders. Tell a friend.

4. Go Wine Tasting in Berkeley – Moo? Twenty wineries dot the landscape of the East Bay including Oakland, Emeryville, and Alameda. Think of it as a new wine country.

Secret Dinner Parties in San Francisco -Forage

In addition to culling hillsides for fresh produce, Forage has an alluring, by invitation only, clandestine dinner party, too. There are special dinners, in secret locations with perfectly amazing menus. Sign up in advance and on the actual day of the event – hours before- you are given a secret address to the Forage dinner party. Check it out and check your carbon footprint at the door.

Broaden your horizons; walk on the beach, share a picnic, volunteer at One Brick and explore the myriad unique events happening in the San Francisco Bay area daily. Have fun.

“Variety’s the very spice of life, that gives it all its flavor” William Cower

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at


Etiquette 101: How to travel with aplomb and courtesy?

Handpainted peace sign in dripping colors

How to travel with grace, aplomb, and ease

Can’t we all just get along? 

Everyone – since the Wright Brothers – has an airline horror story…

There are the horrific, unruly, screaming, jumping on the seats, children kicking the seat from SFO to NYC; the passenger in front of you reclining their seat into your lap debacle; your restless over-sized, seat-mate, snoring, burping, crawling over you-multiple times travesty…the list goes on.

Does the High Altitude Naturally Erase Good Manners and Civility?

Once Upon a Time….

We wore suits on airplanes – our conversations were peppered: with Yes, Please and Thank you and  No, Thank you.

Flight Attendants were treated with respect – we conducted ourselves with a certain decorum. Shoes stayed on, we kept to our seats and gently reclined our seats and went out of our way not to bother another passenger.


When did the laws of the Jungle eradicate good manners and courtesy? What are the Fundamentals of Good Behavior?

Emily Post’s Big Blue Book was the bible for all proper behavior and etiquette – you could easily access techniques for how to write a Thank you note or a note of condolence, how to conduct yourself at a wedding, funeral, baptism, special event …which fork to use, how to dress for most events even an evening wedding, the proper way to introduce friends and acquaintances…

What? You say you don’t have the time to read a book on courtesy and the fundamentals of good behavior?  

Try the Golden Rule – simply treat other people exactly they way you wish to be treated…

and enjoy yourself as you fly the Friendly Skies…




Just as no chain is stronger than its weakest link, no manners can be expected to stand a strain beyond their daily test at home.

Those who are used to losing their temper in the bosom of their family will sooner or later lose it in public. Families which exert neither courtesy nor charm when alone, can no more deceive other people into believing that either attribute belongs to them than they could hope to make painted faces look like “real” complexions.

A mother should exact precisely the same behavior at home and every day, that she would like her children to display in public, and she herself, if she expects them to take good manners seriously, must show the same manners to them alone that she shows to “company.”



The Project Gutenberg EBook of Etiquette, by Emily Post

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at
Title: Etiquette

Author: Emily Post

Release Date: December 10, 2004 [EBook #14314]
[Last updated March 5, 2011]

Top 10 best places to flirt

red door20111001-11Here are the Top 10 Best Places to Flirt today

1. Farmers Market’s – Sunday in San Rafael is a hot bed of activity
2. In Line at the Take Out Counter: Deli/bakery/Peets/Mollie’s. Smile and say ‘hi’
3. Wine Stores – Bev Mo, Any Wine Section – from T’Joes, to CVS
4.  Bookstores – 67% of all book buyers are women – mostly single
5. In that long long line at the airport – even the short line
6. Waiting for the Ferry (bus, jitney, metro, taxi, pedi-cab)
7. On the beach, on the river, on the Dipsea Trail, at the very end of Mountain Run
8. Dog Parks – Every hour is Yappy Hour. Single women -with empty nests- have small dogs -
9. Wine (Beer, Sake, Champagne) Tastings
10. Note: Your Very Best Bet: The Grocery Store – Safeway, The Market, TJ’s, Rainbow, or Whole Foods, etc -
All the world is a stage – and, all you have to do i. Smile and say “Hey”….

And, you’re flirting…

Repeat. Lather. Rinse.




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