The Royal Laugh – Grand Budapest Hotel – pure confection


The Grand Budapest Hotel

Classic: ‘Run don’t walk’ to see Wes Anderson’s hysterical new film

Need a Laugh?

The Grand Budapest Hotel will have you laughing, smiling, happy in the first few minutes. 

Check it out: The film is a perfect story – so light, so funny, so clever- with superb special effects, great dialogue and delivery – filled with a shiny galaxy of stars including Concierge par excellence, Ralph Fiennes, and the subtle and winning Lobby Boy: Tony Revolori, Tilda Swinton, F. Murray Abraham,  Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson.


 Do yourself a favor! Go Wes! Go Wes Anderson!

Thanks for the laughs.

Dating 101: Sex changes everything

glasss photo

Dating at 50 or Back in the Saddle, again.

When you re-enter the dating jungle – the lush, tropical, sultry, sexy jungle of dating – after an acrid, dry, desert of a dead marriage, you learn a lot.  Fast.

Twenty years since your last date?

The clever little games you used to play, so well, in Dating World circa 20 years ago –no longer apply. They are out of style and defunct. Waiting for the phone to ring is so 1992. Get ready to make the first move, call a man, and to flirt via text – skip the sexting- booty calls and sleepovers.

Get ready for women who date a younger man to be called “cougars” – and men who date decades younger to be called “lucky.”

 Relationships in 2014 are faster and more frenetic than you could ever imagine the last time you were single. Actually, dating these days is more like riding the electronic bucking bull that we all saw  in the old John Travolta movie.

You may think, “Even though I am totally out of practice, I will keep my wits about me, I will remained dignified and in control…” and really, at first, Binkie, you will be holding on for dear life.

photo_26831_20130808The First Dates

So you start dating, and you finally connect with a potential Mr. Right and things progress. 

Just like riding a bucking bronco, not only does the pace pick up, but it becomes more difficult to hang on as time goes on… and you both discover dirty little secrets about one another. He rattles the coins in his pockets as he walks through the DeYoung.  He doesn’t tip.  He doesn’t really like anything green – ‘fried everything’ is his menu mantra.

Some of those endearing qualities- he who was so fascinating on every level- now wear a little thin. But you hang in and you hang on. Eventually, you find out he’s thinking about dating two other women.  Hold on!

The Epitome

Something  causes you to lose your footing and you crash; he reveals his disdain for sex and you almost fall off the floor.  Yes, he’s decided sex hurts his back and his lumbago. What’s a girl to do?

So, you climb down off the so-called bucking bronco,  walk over to him, extend your hand, give him his walking papers and wish him well in his Winnebago and his lumbago.

Your new mantra:

“Next! The Best is Yet to Come.” photo_1396_20060405

Dating 101: The 10 Commandments of Online Dating

photo_378_20051108Dating Expert, Steve Mailer, had attracted crowd of 50 people for a Learning Annex event in Mill Valley. His presentation was entitled

“The 10 Commandments of Dating Online or

Take a Tablet and Call me in the Morning”.

I appreciate humor and am always up for new dating information, so I paid the $29 to attend the two-hour presentation. I asked several single friends to join me in this endeavor and got a resounding “No!” from all of them.  So I went alone.

What if the first commandment was ‘Thou shalt not attend dating seminars alone’?

It was pouring rain as I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge to the sold out presentation. The windshield wipers slapped and the torrent continued as I drove into Mill Valley and, like magic, the rain stopped.  Already there were mini miracles…

I easily located the Arts Center. Parking was a challenge.  After driving around for 20 minutes, I found a place for my Ford amongst the legions of Lexus SUVs.

The long line to get in, snaked down the sidewalk. As nonchalant as I tried to be  -the energy of this group was electric. You know how some lines to get into different venues are demure? People speak softly, they scuffle their feet, lots of furtive glances?  This crowd was friendly and looked to be about 50% men. Again, one of those miracles.

At 7:15PM, the ticket takers plucked tickets from our hands. In a musical-chairs kind of fervor, everyone took their seats; laughter, hellos, and waves flew across the room. It was a very friendly group. That was rare for a lecture.

The book publisher introduced Dating Guru and author, Steve Mailer. And, from the back of the room, dressed like Moses – holding a cardboard replica of the Ten Commandments came the Guru.

The crowd roared. Mailer did a little Charlton Heston imitation and instantly had the crowd in the palm of his hand.

Dramatically, he removed the gray wig and rapidly pulled off a Velcro -tear -away flowing robe.  Mailer was wearing black jeans and a black cashmere turtleneck.

His medium height, medium build, was topped of by a gleaming shaved head. He put on squinty designer eyeglasses; the huge silver watch was his only jewelry.

His opening line was “What are all of you doing here at the Arts Center on a Tuesday night?

Why aren’t you with your girlfriend, boyfriend, beau, lover, sweetie, honey, significant other, or partner?     Oh, you don’t have one!  No problem, friends, I am here to say to you, I’ve got the answers!  My book,  (and he held the book up) this one slim book is all you need.  The ‘Ten Commandments of Internet Dating” You say book?  Another book?”  He slid onto the side of the table, got comfortable, and slowly scoured the room.

This guy was “On”, very energetic and ready to roll. He was also very slick and well-rehearsed.

Now, I’m too polite to call him a huckster or a shyster, but he could’ve been the main act at a County Fair selling that amazing blender for Veeta-vita- vegamin.

The message, what was his message?

He asked us how many of us were online daters. The majority of us raised our hands.  Mailer said,  “You’re all doing it and you must stop now! That is the First Commandment! From here on in- you’ve got 5 minutes and only 5 minutes to be online each day. Amen. End of sermon!”

I was perplexed.  He went on to say, “Thou shalt not waste time surfing Internet dating sites…from here on in – it’s the 5 minute rule. For all of you who spend hours searching, questing, and looking for Mr. or Ms. Right: Cease and Desist.   If you’re on Match, or Lotsa fish or EHarmony.  I say take the hours back, starting tonight, when you get home you may spend only 5 minutes check messages, to send a message, and sign out. Amen.”

“As it is written (he held up his book again) that’s the First Commandment of Successful Internet dating – work with me, friends.”

Mailer eased off his perch and said, “Front row, please stand up and smile.  Everyone raise your right hand.”

The entire front row stood up and followed his directions.  They were instructed to: “Turn around and face the audience and wave.  And repeat after me as you wave your right hand: ‘Hey, hi, how you doing?  I’m single, and I bet you are, too!’

Now sit down. Okay, second row stand up. Raise your right hand.”

All six rows of us got up, one by one, enthusiastically and greeted the entire room. Laughter filled the air. We were having fun.

Then Mailer said, “Who lives in town?” 10 people raised their hands.

He continued, “Who lives in San Francisco?”  About five people raised their hands.

Next,  “Who lives in Corte Madera?  San Rafael?  Fairfax?  Other places?”

Hands went up-and-down. People looked around.  He was an icebreaker, a motivator, and a dynamic speaker with a blend of matchmaker thrown in.

The audience was talking and laughing and the room was alive and clicking.  Mailer looked at his watch, and looked at all of us, and said we would take a 20-minute break.

He instructed everyone had to introduce themselves to 10 people they had never met before. He told us to start – and he walked off stage. The noise level was a small roar.

The rest of the evening was even more entertaining.  By the end of the night, I’d met 5 pretty interesting men -I might never have met.

Everyone there bought a copy of Mailer’s book of  “Ten Commandments’ because he told us our social lives would take on biblical proportions.

Hey, I’m a believer and ~ I’m no saint.

fireworks celebration 2Page Larkin 2014

Kiss me, I’m Irish: a San Francisco tradition

image0Kiss me, I’m Irish – if just for today…

March 17th: The famous Irish bars on Geary Boulevard and Clement Street promise to the packed, SRO, loud and festive. However, the real mecca for Irish dancing, Irish beer and blarney is Molloys famous Irish pub in Colma.  Sure now, the wanna be Irish will weave in and out of the bars on Geary Boulevard. The real true green, hard-core, passionate, Irish will go the distance – travel south- and be throwing a few back at Molloy’s.

All over the City – Chinatown, Japantown and North Beach – there will be the wearin’ of green… Some green with envy – some green for a day. One day a year, everyone wants to be Irish.

Corned Beef on Wry

The Irish are famous for wit, storytelling, prose and poetry. Surely you’ve heard about the pivotal bestseller entitled How the Irish Saved Civilization. Blarney? Surely, you jest.

The Irish authors who saved civilization

The mile long list of famous Irish authors is too long and too impressive for one to contemplate in a short while….Irish stars would fill a sky ~

Our heroes include James Joyce, Sam Beckett, Oscar Wilde, Roddy Doyle, Yeats, Shaw, Pat Conroy, O’Connor, and Billy Collins.

Wear green, have fun, take a cab, and remember, wherever you go and whatever you do, may the luck of the Irish be with you.


“May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow, and may trouble avoid you wherever you go.”   Irish Blessing


PicMonkey Collage

Dating 101: Do not ask their height and weight

Wooden foot bridge in the woods.In the beginning…

Listen up: Dating Newbies. Sure, you are excited- you have signed up on a dating website and people like you – they really like you. Take a breath. Slow down a little bit.  Tennis Tom in Tiburon may be hot to trot and Freddie in Fairfax may be proposing an afternoon at the hot springs. Buckeye101 may want to wine you and dine you – sight unseen- prior to even speaking on the phone. Don’t.

Slow Down: Remember, online dating is not a sprint. It is a walk, a stroll, and exploratory. Due diligence is required before the first date – as impetuous as you want to be.  Exchange emails, ask questions, speak on the phone for a long time. Converse and exchange information.

Texting is for sissies.

Meeting for the first time is supposed to be fun, enjoyable, and a potential opportunity to click with a kindred spirit. Play nice. No coy guessing games. No flirting with the hottie at the next table. Bad form – and if your date does it – walk out – time is too precious and that Red Flag is huge.

Discreet: Just because you both signed up for the same dating site doesn’t mean – at first blush – you have to divulge your income, IQ, blood type, or divorce settlement. Yes, it is expected that you both be up front and honest.

Weight, Weight: Don’t tell me:
AKA Wait a minute: Weight and other touchy subjects

  • Even the best of friends don’t ask, “So what are you tipping the scales at now, Tiny?”  We don’t do it.
  •  Why would you ask a heavy-handed question like that on a date? You do the math: they are a S, M, L, or XL.
  •  There’s no way a guy who’s 6’5 can hide that fact.
  • And, Sugar, there’s no way a guy 5’ 6 can pass for 5’10 -so don’t even try.

Your new Mantra: Avoid Bad Dates – life is too short.


You will meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger- again

Freestanding door in the woodsWolfgang, the Psychic to the Stars, had a hunch on deja vu dating

After a two year sabbatical from the Wide Wonderful World of Internet Dating, Tiffany decided to consult with Wolfgang, the “Psychic to the Stars.”  Should she try dating again?  Divorced for three years, she had already been the Poor Little girl once, enjoyed a flurry of dates, met a passel of men and made a lot of “friends.” And, then she met Daniel.

He had an Altar Ego

She and flirtatious Daniel dated for three intense months. It took that long for her to fully realize he was in a huge rush to the altar.  Any altar – with any one. It was too much, too soon, too fast  for her. They parted amicably.

She booked an appointment and was finally seated across from the famous Wolfgang; a small, marble-topped, table between them. After shuffling an over-sized deck of faded and worn Tarot cards, he had her select seven cards. He looked at the cards, briefly. Without missing a beat he said, “Darling, Internet dating, really? You will be fishing in the same pond.”

She looked at him quizzically and as he scooped up the cards with a flourish, he said,   “It will be all the same men, darling.” No, no, say it isn’t so.

Tiffany, known to be a bit cynical, is also an optimist in all things romantic. She defied the prediction and defiantly climbed aboard the Dating Train. It had been awhile; she wasn’t sure of the quicker pace, new buzzwords and the site’s bells and whistles.

Stepping on a treadmill that was ‘on’ at full speed

Like a blast from the past, Tiffany had a surreal feeling of deja vu.  She quickly realized old Wolfgang made a point. After two years – a veritable parade of very familiar faces danced before her on the computer screen.  Here were the same old pictures of the men from before. And, magically, none of them had aged! They were all still 50- and she was two years older.  She scanned the photos and realized a ton of these guys hadn’t even updated their pictures. She remembered the winkin, blinkin’ and nods involved in the on-line dating dance. She could do this. Game on.

Looking for a Few Good Men?

She decided this time around she wasn’t going to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to approach her. She was a girl from the Midwest, a region known for their outgoing, friendly, demeanor. No wallflower action this time around. She would be out going, and going out. She planned to contact one man a day, for one week, and see what kind of luck she had.

She had a premonition the psychic was wrong.Floating Devces

I dreamed I was on The Dating Game

photop-eacockMy Dating Game Nightmare

I dreamed I was on The Dating Game and tall, dark, and handsome Jim Lange, was the host and I was “The Bachelorette.”

I was wearing Hot pants, tights, chocolate leather boots, a heavy crepe blouse with puffy sleeves and multiple golden chains.  My long hair was in a Classic Farrah Fawcett shag cut.

Who Lurks Behind The Screen?

Sitting on the other side of the stage, behind the screen were the Three Eligible Bachelors.  Images of hot dates were dancing in my head: could it be Tom Selleck or David Cassidy? May be Steve Martin, Adam West? Perhaps Clint Eastwood?

I was given a packet of ‘corny questions’ to ask the Bachelors. Their answers became more obnoxious as the minutes flew by.  So much for a major flirt-festival with Bob Saget or John Ritter.  These guys were smug, flat, and dull.

Even with the leading questions dripping with innuendo – the three boring bachelors all sounded like Ronald Reagan. Yikes! Maybe they were Ronald Reagan.

The Lesser of Three Evils?

All three guys sounded like losers and I had to choose one. I chose Number Two- it’s my lucky number. Cue the song “Lollipops and Roses” and each of the bachelors comes around the screen and Number One is Bill O’Reilly!  Well, dodged that bullet.   Bachelor Number Three appears and it’s Glenn Beck!  This dream is getting sicker and sicker.

Finally, Bachelor Number Two comes around the screen, and lo and behold, it is Paul Lynde!

Then I woke up.

Like Bobby on Dallas- it was all a dream – a very bad dream.

theme park sideshow

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.”

Edgar Allan Poe


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